bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №120332
 07.11.2015
Working in Open Space:
Philip, where are you?
Yyy - To the kitchen, to eat
xxx - go, I'll put your lily in and you'll go

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120331
 07.11.2015
[ChCh:MM:SS] Ilya: Here’s how you think... will it be right to "mentally harass" or "verbally harass"? I am looking for, do you know, a cultural substitute for the phrase "Ipaat Moscow"

The psychological violence.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120330
 07.11.2015
I was wondering why my boss was calling one of the Vikash employees; I did not see her, we work in different offices. What about subordinates? And it turned out that she is from India and her direct name is - Vikasa Singh :)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №120329
 07.11.2015
I like to update Firefox. This is done as follows: you go to Menu - Help - About Firefox and it immediately starts loading the update, if there is, of course.
This is the type of "and my version is like this. and stop. Which version? O_O to be updated urgently!"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120328
 07.11.2015
When I was young, there was no windscreen... There was nothing to restart five times. There were classmates. And they did it like that...

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120327
 07.11.2015
and Canakau:
When I look at the Discovery building of bridges or other super-complex structures, I have two senses: admiration for the engineering genius and the organization of works, and a light sadness for how far the West has gone in this regard.

The diamond:
What light is this sadness? Yes, we had to leave the way of technical progress, but for the sake of Russian identity, for the sake of the greatness of the Orthodox Church, for the sake of a strong and unified state!

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120326
 07.11.2015
We live in a society where the news that a plane crashed as a result of a terrorist attack is much less exciting than the pictures from a French magazine.

Obama: According to our information, the plane was destroyed by ISIS.
Working people: It happens.
Cameron: There are negotiations of ISIS terrorists.
Football: What time do you play today?
The investigation commission: nothing was recorded on the black boxes, until the fall everything worked normally.
Workers: There is no trial! Take the beer from the kitchen.
Magazine "Charlie": We have painted a shit picture here. As usual though.
Workers: Hunting a fox is incredible before they have lived and how it can be allowed!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №120325
 07.11.2015
I saw a fragment of the Everest today.
xxx: well and roja at Kira Knightley - brick asks

XXX: I understand...
There is no Kyra Knightley.
This is Dolph Lundgren in Black Pearl.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120324
 07.11.2015
Successful leaders are those who believe they are irreplaceable.
Employees of such (1) love, (2) support and (3) consider them indispensable.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №120323
 07.11.2015
Today I saw my grandfather and grandson in the toy store.
The grandfather asked the seller to pick up the drum larger, and that, he says, his grandson was handed over with a puppy, he wants to return the child to his parents with the drum.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №120322
 07.11.2015
Young Internet users in shock: they discovered that loves are dogs!

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120321
 07.11.2015
There is a myth that Peter is a very special city. In general, reading city news sometimes makes it clear that something is not right with this city.
For example, yesterday evening: “(a) There is no light in three districts of the city... and, no, already in four... no, already in five. B. The tombs are floating in the mountain. Two new wooden tombs. One is "For what?", and the other is "For whom?". c) In Pulkovo, a trailer hit another board "Kogalymavia" - the chassis stand is damaged, there are no casualties. Passengers will fly to Egypt by plane company "Northern Wind". d) "Mercedes" hit a goose on the M-11. The bird was killed."
and stupid.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120320
 07.11.2015
Lia: Lovely friends I was hacked, hopefully no one gave me the money!
Lia: There is also a funny effect. Since on the first tactic the hackers ask how the affairs are (and only after the answer ask for money), I now know about the affairs of a bunch of my friends and friends.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120319
 07.11.2015
English language courses in local groups:
All prices are for astrological watches.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120318
 07.11.2015
From the regional website:
On July 16, in IC-19 (Uchta) during a search of a citizen who arrived for a long date to a convict serving a sentence in this colony of the general regime, a bundle packed in a contraceptive was found. The screw was hidden in a delusional way in the natural body cavity. When it was opened, 6 SIM cards, a bottle with a transparent liquid of 10 ml, pink tablets of 101 pieces were found and seized.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120317
 07.11.2015
Festival of Reconstructors:
- By the way, King Richard the Lionheart boasted that from his bastards it would be possible to assemble a separate army.
He never left her inheritors.
And Balboa because of it. He was a good knight, but a bad king.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №120316
 07.11.2015
A friend works in a closet, in one of the capital universes. In order to motivate the people to immediately show where their clothes are, he hanged an announcement of this content:
"Prepare a loop for hanging!"
It worked!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120315
 07.11.2015
Upon leaving the store, a stranger in a coat greeted me. With the most neutral face I answer "Good morning" and go on. Within three hundred meters before me it comes to me that it was my neighbor, who every day sits in the car and leaves at the same time as me, just I did not recognize him without the car. It was very uncomfortable!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120314
 07.11.2015
The air sprayer" exploded my brain.

from the announcement. Aerial for aquarium, as it turned out.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №120313
 07.11.2015
Another Turkish friend.
He wants to talk about serious topics.

Art, literature, religion, sport, education, politics _ all these topics rejected. She sent him a memorial on anti-terrorism for Russians (who was given at work, under a painting for study) fell away like a wart.

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