bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118332
 11.09.2015
If you need a condition in the program, then if there should be a few more embedded conditions in it, then if you can't do without them at all, then if your time allows you, then provide the program with concessions and comments, otherwise it will be very difficult to read such a text, otherwise do it later - when you are more free, otherwise minimize the number of conditions, otherwise do not overwhelm the code with conditions, otherwise you will do without conditions at all.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118331
 11.09.2015
(New about 6 GB of RAM in Samsung smartphones)
X: Why are there so many operations? Why? The meaning? What, the server OS will run? Or maybe a virtual zoo?
YYY: There will be a 1C server.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №118330
 11.09.2015
From Japan:
After work, we sit in the cafe, rest, drink beer. No one else in the cafe except me. Two girls come in - not beautiful, but terribly cute. Sitting at a table in the corner. Order - half a liter "Absolute" and juice. We are in the rain...

It passes two hours. The girls are already good (ordered a few more times). Like any drunk man, he speaks in elevated tones. It turns out that one was dropped by the boyfriend (Ania), and the second (Natasha) husband filed for divorce. Plus a lot more. At half ten the girls decided to take the last one. Money was not enough. A wide gesture calls on the waitress and we order another two hundred on the track. The girls looked at us, but they took a drink. Honestly, we didn’t get along with them. So felt...
After ten minutes of drinking vodka and Natasha approaches our table in a very curved course and begins:
Thank you guys for what you gave.
Not for what.
I’m sorry you and I have an anxiety.
Well I understand.
The next speech leaked from it, which is called from the depths of the soul.
You guys are pretty, of course, but whoever needs me so much - I can neither cook nor wash. I spend all my money in the shops. Last week the car broke down... (more in the same spirit).
At this point, Anna goes:
And I can’t sweat too much...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118329
 11.09.2015
XXX is:
He remembered the army in 2006-2008, before the reform and after, and thought that Serdyukov was worthy of a horse monument. Well, to mark the role of his accomplices, let him sit riding on Vasilyeva.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118328
 11.09.2015
How about the new iPhone?
Does the kidney itch?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118327
 11.09.2015
According to one of the participants in the accident, vehicles were moving along the street of Faleevskaya. The culprit of the accident was the driver of "Slavuta", because he did not observe the safe distance provided during the movement of vehicles. Failure to observe the safe distance led to a collision with the "Infinity FX37S", which in turn entered the car "Lexus L460R". The driver of the Lexus L460R was a priest who escaped from the scene.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118326
 11.09.2015
Only in the U.S. a wage worker can become a billionaire and at the same time in the entire company only three people, two founders and he. The company developed and there was no money to pay wages, so it was issued in shares and options.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №118325
 11.09.2015
Why do you have a beer next to school?
Everyone understands, we break.
The beer?
The school...

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №118324
 10.09.2015
She was so stupid that she married me.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №118323
 10.09.2015
In general, what I want to say (or write (it is not essential) is that the use of an excessive number of clips (even when it is justified (e.g. in program code (especially for beginners (although experienced programmers are no exception) or in mathematical formulas) significantly reduces the readability (and therefore the comprehensibility) even for the author himself (not to mention the random reader (who (unlike the first) has no idea where to put the missing clips) of this creation.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №118322
 10.09.2015
Following the new iPhone, I suggest introducing 3D Touch technology in the elevators. The stronger you press the call button, the faster the elevator arrives.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №118321
 10.09.2015
Memento_mori: I went to work yesterday. Rain and nature is beautiful. The rabbits robbed, the rabbits. Next to me was a car, a man somehow pushed out the window: "Girl!" I ignore. She is "Girl!And I’m ignoring it. He is even louder: "Girl!!! Yes, I am not cocktailing - go out of the road, the cyclists will destroy you now!" It turned out, the competition in them, in front of the columns of cyclists, these are the men on cars and motorcycles who pushed everyone out of the road. As they say, I’m a fool. :)

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118320
 10.09.2015
Chapter 1826: How cute you are!
Want - save, and I will bring my wife coffee to bed (on March 8, of course), hand-smelted in a hand-made copper coffee mill and hand-cooked in copper jewelry.
Once a year, you can do it manually.
Who does the other 364 days of the year work with a coffee mill and jizz?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №118319
 10.09.2015
Right under the window, through the megaphone:
- Attention, attention, dear ladies and gentlemen... pause... and the residents of the area.

So, at the same time, down the entire area, it is five.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №118318
 10.09.2015
Woland: 10 thousand difference... I am going to repair and 10 thousand is not a small amount... Is it worth it?
Dominus: Woland, send Korovyev to the bank and do not discredit the office.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №118317
 10.09.2015
But before, parents were afraid of the streets... where the world goes.

Oh yeah yes. So feared that we at 5-6 years of age went for bread and milk ourselves, no one met us from school and brought us to it, we quietly played in the yard of the house for a couple of quarters from our own...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118316
 10.09.2015
In contact came an invitation to a master class on shooting female naked nature from some widely known in narrow circles photographer. I went for the sake of curiosity to see the work, it turned out to be boring and banal - girls without cowards in the same folded posture on different backgrounds: then in an abandoned underground, then in the forest on a pine, then on the window in a typical block house, plus hellish photoshop with curved hands, for which any specialist would cut off his hands. Under one photo comment: "A man, or learning to photoshop, or dress a girl, or she is blue!".

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118315
 10.09.2015
Termination of State Order
xxx: One state enterprise won the tender of another, and then the first held the tender to terminate the winning tenders. Do I understand the essence correctly?
Yyy: A brilliant scheme!

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118314
 10.09.2015
XXX is all. She put her ass in her ass and took her stuff.
YYY: You were going to get married?! to
XXX: He is a fool.
We went on holiday with him... I thought we would rest - the sea, the mountains, the sun. And what do you think?
xxx: Going to the hotel, he noticed that the wifi in the hotel barely catches and eventually spent virtually the entire vacation with another admin in the box changing some routers and rearranging something there. And in the late evenings, instead of enjoying even the evenings in bed, he lay down and told me with admiration about the work he had done!!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №118313
 10.09.2015
On the topic of "cruel methods of motivation". To school my mother (who worked there as a teacher) woke me up with the phrase:"You are not going to school?". In 11th grade I once said "I won’t go". I did not go. :) Mom comes and says "I said you’re sick. Don’t make such jokes anymore"

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