bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №118292
 10.09.2015
Two young residents of Magnitogorsk became famous throughout the world – they escaped from the kindergarten through a bribe, made by their own hands with the help of conventional plastic sockets, and now about their “movement” reports Russian and foreign media.

Comments: It is already a line in the characteristics: "Tend to escape".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118291
 10.09.2015
XXX: How are you doing?
Okay, but the time is not too long.)
XXX: the same way, there would be 30 hours in the day.
yyy: yeah) and 27 would be enough) you just don't know how to manage time

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118290
 10.09.2015
111: No, Tikhon is a hybrid of a Thai cat and an ordinary Russian catch))
222: The light
What is called the Russian dottle :D and how can it be crossed with a cat?
333: and also imagine how such an enormous, metal and slightly radioactive thing suddenly comes to life, is covered with wool and, dumb, slips to you...
222 to eat.
Chapter 11: The Narcotics!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118289
 10.09.2015
The armor exists!
Quote from the news:

The curious incident, which almost ended in tragedy, occurred in the German city of Gadebush (Land of Mecklenburg-Primary Pomerania). The hunter, who shot the cockroach, struck a woman who happened to be nearby. The bullet hit her in the chest, but thanks to the underwear did not cause the German a particular harm, reports The Telegraph.

The 41-year-old tourist, whose name is not named, along with her husband was riding a bicycle in the forest near Gadebush. The couple crossed the field, as the German suddenly felt a sharp pain in the chest. When she stopped, she realized that a bullet had just hit her. Fortunately, the woman’s underwear had a steel wrap, which prevented the bullet from causing the German serious injury. The tourist was taken to the hospital. Doctors found a scarring and bleeding on the German's chest, but the woman, fortunately, did not get more serious injuries.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №118288
 10.09.2015
The most insurmountable obstacle to any plan is the actual situation.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №118287
 10.09.2015
The evening. Everybody has been apart for a long time, except our cohesive leadership. I approach the semi-open door of the director’s office, I hear his voice: “Yes, age, you can’t do anything. What in youth was an overwhelming opportunity is now a little pleasant, but a duty. Here’s a simple test – how many miles would you have walked for that 30 years ago? How much now?”

I remembered my turbulent student years and a long, quite happy marital life. He could not fail to join the director's observation, and gave his answer to the wise director's test: at the age of 16 on Marina Neelova - a thousand kilometers would easily go away, like a lion. Fire girlfriend at senior courses - 30 kilometers would have passed, further would have been lazy. Now on my wife - well, 5 kilometers I will probably walk. Preferably in the park. Even though it is so close, it is so close!

In response, the entire direction around the bottle of whiskey looked at me thoughtfully. Suddenly it exploded. Finally, the director managed to cope with the spasms and said, “No, five kilometers is still good. I fell a mile. Only we remembered the overseas missions of our youth. I’m going to go to Copenhagen and see him. Go to the terminals!”

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №118286
 10.09.2015
Mother lied to little Andrew that children were found in cabbage, and he somehow began to look with fear at the roasted cabbage with meat.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №118285
 10.09.2015
Interesting news in the Ukrainian media:
“Terrorists have repaired the railway,” “Terrorists are giving humanitarian aid,” “Terrorists are asphalting streets,” “Terrorists are planting flowers in Donetsk.”

At the same time, “The Group of Patriots shot a gasoline station in Kiev”, “Activists entered a shooting with the employees of the Ministry of Internal Affairs”, “Volunteers take out stolen cars from the ATO zone”, “Law Guards detained in Odessa activists who abducted a deputy”.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №118284
 10.09.2015
by yunklob:
Often miraculous medicines for all diseases do not cure even from stupidity.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №118283
 10.09.2015
I will tell you that there is spirituality in Russia, and I will praise the new golden clock of Patriarch Kirill.
I’ll tell you that in Europe there are emigrants, and I’m walking the foot of a Tajik who fell asleep in the entrance.
I will tell you that the Crimea is ours and I will go to Spain to rest.
I’ll tell you that the West is rotten, and I’ll listen to the Russian radio ‘Blue Moon’.
I will tell you that there is nothing better than Russian vodka, and I will buy myself a bottle of Absolut.
I will tell you that the Jews hate the Russians, and I will go to Israel for treatment.
I will tell you that we have lifted the industry from the knees and will replace the BMW with the Mercedes.
I will tell you that Russia has a developed economy and I will invest my money in American business.
I will tell you that there is no soul in the West, and I will watch a French movie with my wife.

And if you suddenly say I’m a hypocrite, I’ll call you a fascist, an extremist, close your blog and put you in jail.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118282
 10.09.2015
It is known...

He broke his forehead on the wall in the dark, the wound was lubricated with a cream "ambulance" for 4 days to heal faster - the result was zero. and spit. I started to spray with a tonic so that it wasn't so visible - it lasted for three days. The WTF?

If not treated, it passes in a week, and if treated, then in just 7 days.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118281
 10.09.2015
A summary of the article, absolutely real, written by the employee of our institute:
"The hypothesis of seducing mammoths with mosquitoes and introducing them into narcotic slaughter for subsequent slaughter".
I have not seen yet. I want to watch already.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118280
 10.09.2015
Roskomnadzor has placed Pornhub on the list of banned sites.

Okay, I’m going out of this country! Today I am forbidden to shake and tomorrow...Stop! What could be worse than that!? to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118279
 10.09.2015
DENker: I remember, as soon as the duck newcomer appeared, everyone said with admiration: cool, graphics just like in life, you can shoot in the wall, and the holes from the bullets remain... and the bottles from the shots are broken, and when you pin the wash - it passes.
DENker: Right now it’s the opposite – we’re digging potatoes with the kids, they’re shouting joyfully: look, the poisonous potatoes got caught, just like in the minecraft!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118278
 10.09.2015
You know, when I was riding a big car, I was always unclear why mommies with wheelchairs are always on the bike road.
I am now alone in the wheelchair.
HHH: I still don’t understand! Am I doing something wrong?
Wow: You are wrong, Uncle Fedor, you eat sandwiches!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №118277
 10.09.2015
The Women’s Forum. The theme is "Pearl". An advertisement is discussed "Sold clothes, r. 42-44, scattered by fights, from behind where the back is tapped, fashionable in the club, stretches from 46 to 48.
- "Eat" is a classic of the genre...
- The author's number of views will go down, it will be a pleasure...
Has anyone noticed the size of the dress? It is somehow unrealistic...
I have noticed! And I’ve already called!" I asked if it’s going to be on the 54th?
And what did she answer?
I want to call back tomorrow! I think it will stretch out all night...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118276
 10.09.2015
...and in general, the real curator on artificial intelligence systems should be assembled on its own...

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №118275
 10.09.2015
I decided to delight my wife at dinner. Cocktails were not difficult, generally. I watched on the internet, called a friend... Stir. Then I cooked rice. So who knew? Now you can not cook anything for a few weeks at all. Well, or two days, if you gather relatives on both sides for lunch. This is the type of rice.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №118274
 10.09.2015
"Clients of a bank in Moscow were expelled from the office of a criminal with a grenade"
The bombs are no longer an argument.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118273
 10.09.2015
Leo: What cute people in Peter...I’m in shock! This is really my city! In Moscow, I am on the fucking with my politeness not needed by anyone.
Good morning, please, I’m sorry...
Fucking in the mouth.
As a lion.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna