bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №118092
 05.09.2015
The author of the story "Do not sleep!". I wish you to work non-stop with a month-to-a-month loader in the Aural mode. I recommend on the freezer to unload with your hands fur with frozen fish in 20 kg brikets. Then tell me how you were drawn to the beautiful or to the gym.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №118091
 05.09.2015
Politicians are like sperm, but only one out of many millions is a human.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №118090
 05.09.2015
I recently watched Terminator 5. When showing robots stuck one question: Do they have teeth?

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №118089
 05.09.2015
The more we bend, the faster they bend us.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118088
 05.09.2015
I did not enter the institute after school.
There was a feeling that I know everything, the entrance exams to the institute are fake. Yes I...
I could not throw my hats and went to the factory.
Boys who did not enter after school took normal places, where a decent earnings in the future was meant.
I have to choose whether to go to the repair shop or go to the stallion.
I chose the profession of electrical engine repair. Specifically the student.
For the first month, I was taught how to remove the burned electric motors from the machinery.
And then came the long-awaited day of the first receipt.
According to an undercover tradition, I had to bring a bottle to my teacher.
I was not embarrassed by my young age when buying vodka in the store. I could ultimately ask an adult to buy a bottle.
I had to put the vodka through the passage. The factory was a serious mailbox. Production went to defense and space. Therefore, the passage was a serious obstacle.
I consulted with friends, for whom this was already a past stage.
Most of them flew. The guard of the factory knew about the tradition and in the days of receipt arranged a shadow for minors. The bottles were removed and the child was forced to pour it out on the ground with shame.
Of course, there was a possibility after work to bring the mentor to the nearest workout, but so I wanted to put the bubble on the table, where in the break played a domino and hear that you are a REAL MAN.
Immediately after eating in the buffet, I ran for vodka for the lunch break.
In the store, the seller did not ask about my age and sold the bottle.
I tried to hang her by the belt. My lean figure did not want to hide a foreign object.
My torture was seen by a neighbor from my yard. He gave me valuable advice.
I bought two packs of cookies and a newspaper. There was a huge bullshit from the newspaper. I pulled the bottle down the throat. Holding the bottle over my throat, I filled the bottle up to the top with a cookie.
Usually the passage passes very quickly, but there was a turn at the entrance.
Every entering young man was searched for alcohol.
I raised a fist above my head, letting me shake my belt and pockets.
Smiling, I stretched a bucket to my aunt of Vohr-ovskaya - eat, I have my first receipt today. My aunt took a cake and drove me to the factory.
I went to the men who played domino. There stood and shrugged the head of the area.
Do you want to wash the first piece?
Let’s drink the cup now.
Lost interest, the head of the department left.
I turned around and wiped out the newspaper.
On the table in the middle of a bunch of cookies was a bubble.
“I have to test him,” my mentor said.
“A real man,” said all the workers.
So I stopped being a student.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №118087
 05.09.2015
A man sitting on the bank of the river.
A woman fits, dressed naked, and in an intimate place piercing, and goes to swim.
The Fisherman:
- You are a coward, here the squid brightly takes.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118086
 05.09.2015
Cellsul: I always throw off hair with some respect
Cellsul: In the end, they preferred to die rather than obey the order imposed on them. The real warriors

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118085
 05.09.2015
Context advertising here:
"Fabric Pricing for Products!"
Fuck...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №118084
 05.09.2015
111: Sony allowed the possibility of entering the car market - > They decided to take a new car. Soon even the robbery will happen remotely - entered, hacked, injected the PC (travel task) - she herself came to the car disassembly :)

222: In fact, and the arrangement of a new car from two stolen will take place without the participation of a person. One thing I trust is the Sunshine programmers.

333, which is cheaply hired by Russians. And as a result of the three stolen cars will be gathered BMP and chase thieves :)

111: A of the five - Armata

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118083
 05.09.2015
Tatiana: New music in the playlist always means a change in life. Especially when a person suddenly throws a full discography of Civil Defense into the player.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №118082
 05.09.2015
18225: The dead will not listen to you, but they will not answer you. They are on your hysterical screams somehow by figure. You can also try to move the monuments with your voice, they will also sleep on your side".

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118081
 05.09.2015
Yesterday a half-day installed the entrance electric shield in the apartment, well, where wires, RFID, machines. Everyone was hit in the head while walking. I bought an imported, for internal installation, beautiful such, good. I installed it, and in the evening, after dinner, I sat down to watch a detective series. And there the criminalist, in order to determine the composition of the substance, swung the test tube in the same shield, only without machines. Closed the lid, and once on the compass the composition of the substance was determined. So what do I think... maybe the frog bittened me 2500 to pay for him? I bought a mass spectrometer for that money.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118080
 05.09.2015
xxx: Google "xen access to DomU without stopping it"
He told me: Maybe you meant: xen access to the home without stopping it.
Oh yeah, I can't get into my bump on the chicken legs))

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №118079
 05.09.2015
T: I got a lot of cute bouquets for Knowledge Day.
D: I hope you brought them home?
T: Yes, but not all of it. Only the most beautiful
D: Oh that is great! Can I take a photo with them later?
T is?
D: In February on Valentine’s Day I will post on Instagram. The guy gave.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118078
 05.09.2015
What about the contract?
The contractor returned with the right.
Which ones?
- We removed the item on the possibility of using a fax signature, and wrote a red comment: "Our office is not equipped with a fax, we can exchange scanned copies of documents by mail."

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118077
 04.09.2015
Today was in a bookstore and accidentally stumbled on this masterpiece (Next is what is written about the plot:
The secret world is moving toward disaster: so predict homeowners. War is on the threshold, Darkness is coming, Moscow and St. Petersburg are frozen in anticipation of a strike. But the war begins not only in the secret world, but also in the blood of Vlad, who is half a vampire, half a magician.
Choosing between two guys - a troll and a vampire - will lead her to disaster, confusing the intrigue of the rulers of the secret world.
The sunsets rest.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №118076
 04.09.2015
Activities of 18225

Man must... Life must... Husbands must...

No one owes anything to anyone.
Get up in the morning and go off here! Let me sleep!

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №118075
 04.09.2015
> Listen, half poker grabbed, study history! The apocalypse is not in megatons, but in the fact that the king was killed!

First of all, you will hide your mother, respectful. And secondly, the blow of the tobacco in general was "apoplexic". The official cause of Paul I's death was called apoplexic stroke. Everyone knew about tobacco.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118074
 04.09.2015
Worse than dumbom just dumbom with increased HSV)))

Listen, half poker grabbed, study history! The apocalypse is not in megatons, but in the fact that the king was killed!

Paul’s contemporaries ironically perceived the news of the Apocalyptic Stroke (injury, in my opinion), which allegedly struck the self-restraint, as the mention of the tobacco smoker, which served as the true cause, says. The same debboeb like you, not knowing this wise word, changed it, wrapping the apocalypse - it is a fashionable theme and the word known.
The author of the quotation laughed at it, but immediately a second debboeb appeared, this time you.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №118073
 04.09.2015
I also decided to look at apartments for 1 billion. Now the advertisement offers to buy masturbators. Oh shit, my dear, for that. Oral sex courses are not offered.

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