bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117892
 29.08.2015
Fellowship and Fellowship :)
— — —
So that the smell does not smell...
The deodorant removes the smell and does not give it.
Remove the smell of antiperspirant. The deodorant deodorizes, it beats, it gives a smell.
— — —
Desire to adore. The root "odor"(us) - smell, prefix "des" - cleaning, denial.
Compare with disinfection, disintegration, deactivation.
Another thing is that in practice, the deodorant most often simply blows one smell to another, well, like the "citrus" air refresher in the sorting blows the smell of shit.
But for some it doesn’t work, and then they smell both: shit with lemons.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117891
 29.08.2015
Blood, the rage will drive me to the grave.
xxx: How can the ticketing machine have a working schedule?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117890
 29.08.2015
The Prehistory. Her sister has very beautiful and long hair, which she long painted with henna in red. Then she decided to change her color from red to her native chestnut, struggled with basma for a long time, alchemistry with additional ingredients. The color eventually came out beautiful, very similar to her native. Only a few strands got a mud-green shade, there is such a bag in the basma. I decided to leave it as it is, curious to answer what was intended.
The history. We go with her from one city to another, the bus is half empty, the windows are open, beauty. would be. If it wasn’t for her, and her completely impeccable, loud and curious outcry. The first victim fell a pregnant woman (Mom, why is my aunt so fat? Eat a lot because), then the old lady with juice (give me juice too! Mommy, this mummy is stupid, the juice does not give!) is
Then came the turn of my sister.
Why is your hair green? Are you stupid?
Have you read about the Mermaid?
I saw the multicolor.
So, boy, I’m a mermaid too. She also exchanged her tail for love. Only the prince was a goat, and life was pain. And the algae-colored hair is the only thing that reminds me of my beautiful native world, to which I will never be able to return.
Until the end of the journey (approximately an hour and a half) neither the mother-in-law nor the son-in-law spoke a word more, from our side they didn’t look at anything, they didn’t even breathe at all, staying in silent contemplation of the fate of the mermaids.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №117889
 29.08.2015
- Fuck, I am looking for "weather" - comes out "porno"! Why Why?
This is the weather...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117888
 29.08.2015
Tedbeer: All magnets on Earth slowly crawl to the nearest pole.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117887
 29.08.2015
In our courtyard, we often hear stories that Grey and Black again fought, and Barin went around his territory in heavy rain. Do you think these names belong to people? But here is not. These are nicknames of courtyard cats, for example, we have Ploskodon, Barin, Penek, Fat Juric, Muslik, Brave Nose, Zaserya, Dwarf Eye, Black, Grey, the Bourdyuk family and the Family of Flat Cats. What do you know about cats names?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117886
 29.08.2015
Visited with relatives. Apartment on the last floor with windows to the forest and pond. As it turned out, during the wedding season there are massive photoshoots of brides and brides. Seeing from the balcony the fight of two wedding photographers for a seat on the bridge with the subsequent falling of one in the pond, realized: jokes about weddings are not jokes at all!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №117885
 29.08.2015
Comments on the video "Ceephax Acid Crew - Probey's Poker" (brainbreaking graphics, flashes, etc.)
Navid Nia: I have a beated pixel that has been dead for four years.

[ + 28 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117884
 29.08.2015
Interesting fact: lying in the warm under the blanket, knowing that tomorrow you do not have to go anywhere positively affects the emotional state.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117883
 29.08.2015

Ausser: sometimes right from work I go to bed, sleep 12 hours and do not sleep, constant drowsiness during the day, apathy, decay
They say that vitamins are for tonus.
I drank Eleutherococcus and Suprastin last autumn in the form of chewing mice
What else can we sweat? In the form of chewing mice.

Diet: Somewhere I saw such a advice: chewing mice pour vodka. After a few vodka is absorbed, they will become alcoholic chewing.

[ + 30 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117882
 29.08.2015
In my house there is a brewery called "Author’s Beer". Here, I see directly an outraged brewer explaining the dissatisfied:
This is not a mouthpiece! I am an artist! I see so!

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117881
 29.08.2015
You smoked at night, you woke up?
Yes, I woke up at night.
I don’t remember how you got up...I remember how the smell of cigarettes came back to bed.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117880
 29.08.2015
<<<So my acquaintance suddenly became richer by $3000.
There is nothing better than throwing it under the couch.
As long as the trial is done, everyone forgets about it.>>>
Forget for a year and a half about three thousand bucks?? to
Is she Abramovich’s sister?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117879
 29.08.2015
LOR doctor: I was called Lord yesterday... so pleasant :D

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №117878
 29.08.2015
In the comments to the post in a science-popular blog on the theme of entertainment from NASA: you can add your name to the list that will be sent to Mars.
Mills are accumulating?
WOW : Of course! falling on the card. It can be easily obtained at any of the space fleet departments on Mars.


[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117877
 29.08.2015
Chelyabinsky curtains are so tough that they play the role of carrying structures in the house.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117876
 29.08.2015
God punished man by religion.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №117875
 29.08.2015
The men, three, gathered in Amsterdam for three days. In dutifree bought, it is believed, 0.7, but customs / security did not give good - the liquid can not be transported. Do not spill out! Most of the bottle was drunk by one of them and, sitting in the plane seat, immediately fell asleep.
The flight was delayed and delayed, several hours passed, and passengers were asked to move onto another board.
Friends of the sleeping man disturbed, led to the exit. From the trap he saw the inscription "Sheremetyevo-2" and with regret said:
I’ve been in Amsterdam for three days and I don’t remember anything.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №117874
 29.08.2015
Exactly 255 years ago, on August 27, 1760, Empress Elizabeth issued a decree prohibiting bribery of state officials.
Nobody knows when the law will come into force.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117873
 29.08.2015
I work with my wife, so we shoot the bridegroom with the bride, I say to the bridegroom "Embrace her"(you beat the bride), I don't know what was happening in his head at this moment, but he cried to embrace why then my wife, halfway stopping him, explained who to embrace.

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