Ekaterina Lahova complained to Putin that the ice cream "Rainbow" is a gay advertisement. And if I could read, I would remember the tale of the Flower Semitsvetik.

It was somewhere 8 or 9 years ago. I graduated and worked in the same company.

Then we had one sympathetic secretary and the smile was a direct fire.

Well, I, to be honest, quietly dragged on her; and she, as I thought, too.

And one day, we went out of our office with a crowd to drink a beer on Friday night.

They sat down, drank a beer and, in short, caveated from the evening.

It was time to say goodbye and I decided to take this girl home.

Just came, she offered to come in, to drink tea, which of course I did.

The thoughts in my head were so bursting that I had already mentally done everything with her.

When we got home, she went for tea, and I decided that in 10 seconds I would go to her kitchen.

I go into the kitchen, she covers something on the table, well, I hugged her from behind, pressed to myself and started kissing my neck.

She turned sharply. and. and. And I’ll be surprised that I’ve eaten.

It turned out that she really wanted to give me tea and there were no hints and she had a guy at all.



I don’t understand the clues :(



P.S. I got out of the company two months later.

According to the forecasts of the Ministry of Finance in the autumn in the country is expected a second wave of fines for violation of self-isolation.

Recently, it became known about the ugly racist outbreak that happened in the United States.

Some unknown characters threw a hanging loop into the garage box of the only black racing athlete in the NASCAR series, Bob Wallace! The petla very much resembled those loopholes on which in the time of slavery guilty slaves-negers were hanged.

The management of the association immediately issued the following statement:
We are angry and offended, and we cannot fail to mention how seriously we take this disgusting act. We have immediately started an investigation and will do everything we can to find those responsible and exclude them from the sport. As we have clearly stated, there is no place for racism in NASCAR, and this act only reinforces our determination to make the sport open and welcoming to all.

The FBI immediately engaged in the investigation of the disgusting crime. 15 best federal agents were sent to investigate all the circumstances of the incident.

Other drivers and NASCAR members expressed their full solidarity with the African-American. As a sign of support, his racing car was hand-picked onto the track before the race, and the victim of the racist crime was suffocated in his arms mixed with hands and hands on his back.

The upset Bobba even took a selfie in front of his car and other participants before the race, and signed it on Twitter "Together".

Meanwhile, the FBI did not waste time either. After examining all the evidence, comparing all the facts and questioning all possible witnesses, the crime was finally uncovered:
The petal has always hanged in this place.
It was necessary to close the garage door.

The CEC has published the preliminary results of the 2024 elections.

The story happened to my brother. One friend asked him a very large amount of debt, his brother agreed to give in debt, but under security of the apartment. and further dialogue.

Do you want to take my apartment?

Do you want to pay off the debt?

The extreme stage of laziness is when a person even has easy ways in life to look for laziness.

Compatible

After the winter holidays, we were told that the physics teacher was seriously ill. And now, the lessons of physics will be conducted by a combinator. He is not a teacher, but a literate, works in the factory as the deputy chief of the IVC. We studied in the tenth grade, and the ladies who planned to enter the institute organized an unauthorized rally:

Can you find another physics teacher? After all, we have a graduate class, and physics should be led by a teacher, not a deputy! Rubanula from the shoulder Olga Filimonova.

"It is difficult to find a teacher at the height of the academic year," he replied, "thanks to Stanislav Vladimirovich that he agreed to help us. I’m sure he will do it because he has a higher education in physics. Why are the boys silent?

- And we will learn it by textbook, independently, - replied Sergey Vychin, who had been in school for the second year and regretted not going to the school after the eighth grade.

This is wonderful! Do not deceive me, and without provocations! I summarized the summary.

On the change before the lesson of physics, we took our seats. There was no teacher yet, and the girls held a secular conversation, in a very echoed tone:

I don’t know if I go to another school.
I saw physics. Girls, he is bald!
My school was crying. Work as a cleaner!
If so, I go to the director. Who is with me?
– Let’s all go, – someone replied for everyone.

Physicist was forty years old, tight, cute, with smart and cheerful eyes. The lion was powerful! Satiric said of such, “Walks with intelligence.” The physicist quietly wrote his FIO on the board, and turned to us, said:

- Write in the notebook, it's me. Since I don't have a pedagogical education, I won't waste time educating loboths. I’m used to working with a high CPA, so those who aren’t interested in studying physics can move to the back. Play the sea battle, but be silent! All the others, move to the front seats, I will work with you. The questions?

What is IWC? I asked.
A good question! I'll arrange your class for an excursion to the IVC, there I'll tell you everything.

The physicist taught the lesson easily and easily. And when we started solving the tasks, he laid out on the first batch a small box with keys on which the numbers and signs were large drawn. Seeing the confusion in our faces, he said:

- Since we do not have a math lesson, we will not waste time dividing the column. This thing is called a calculator, and it will help us with calculations. How to use them, I will teach everyone.
Will you count on it yourself? I asked.
No, I insist that each of you learn to use them. Believe me, you will need it.

At the end of the lesson, the physicist made us a dizzying proposition:

I want to give you an optional homework. Whoever can do it, all five for a quarter. The Automatic! Are there wishes?
by Daaa! He swallowed the whole class.
- You need to explain why when short-circuit, the wires sparkle. From the point of view of physics. Duration of execution is a week.

Only God knows how much literature our class has translated! I even arranged a short shutdown at home in the hope that the illumination would fall on me, but unfortunately. By the end of the week, I was surrounded by excellences and demanded:

Tell me the correct answer!
How do I know? I was surprised.
You are a radio amateur.
And what?
The Jedi! You don’t need 5!

Having learned that no one was able to cope with the task, the Physicist reassured us:

Relax, nobody knows that. You have learned a lot of interesting literature.

The trip to IWC made an impression on me. Large computers, and bushes of plates in the room for their repair and cabinets with radio parts, I considered the longest. And the thought revolved in the head: “Here would be!” and the IWC is an Information and Computing Center.

At the graduation exam in physics, I went with the intention to answer five! I was lucky with the ticket, and when I got to practice assembling the circuit and building the Volt-Amper characterization of the reostat, electricity was missing in the school. I did not get confused, drawn a scheme and a formula for calculation. I was praised, and I, in the spark of dog enthusiasm, said:

Thank you to Stanislav Vladimirovich!
“Boer, Ohm’s Law, you were in the seventh grade. What about Stanislav Vladimirovich? I asked Zevs.
He inspired me!
Do we mean no? He smiled to Zavo.

The non-standard thinking of Physics was manifested during the graduation evening. There was only champagne on the table. But someone cautiously brought a bottle of vodka. The entrance to the school and the classes were closed, and we decided to drink vodka in the toilet. But almost the vodka was put on the window, as the physicist went to the toilet.

Ladies and gentlemen, be calm! The physicist said, I understand. I hide myself, but I do not advise drunkenness. You will meet the dawn. Better on your feet than under the fence. I propose the following regulation. You take me in part, and I pledge to pour vodka fairly.
I agree! We have rattled.
A glass alone?
and yes.
I understood! Drink like in the West.
Is it how? I asked.
In small doses. Who got the first 50 grams?
What is so little? Morin was surprised.
Six to fifty, and I have two hundred. As an elderly and for breaking.

No one argued. The physicist last drank fifty grams, and the rest of the vodka poured into the washer. To relieve the tension, the physicist asked:

Where after school?
In a military school, someone replied.
In the army, three people answered.
- In the Technical School, replied Vichin.
In the locomotive, I said.
- Give me advice, go to the factory, stutters are always needed! And they get four hundred rubles, and I get two hundred.

The physicist left the banquet in English without saying goodbye.

I understand all, the new Constitution is like a new country, and therefore zeroing is legal. Can I also cancel taxes for previous periods and loans taken under the old Constitution?

I live next to the beach. There is a decree that the beach can be filled only 50%. In terms of the number of people.

But our officials are not very smart. Therefore, the beach was simply flanked into two parts. Some people are not allowed.

xxx: I have a friend who voted “for”

Her position: We have a monarchy in the genes, we need a king. No democracy will survive. Look at what in America.

YYY: Well, you don’të at least have a position.

Zzz: Yes, just some knee-arrow position.

Our political elite is a complete zero: it only knows how to zero.

“There is no way back.”

A dozen years ago, we carried cars to Russia from the United States. For customers and for resale. As usual, lighthouses were purchased at auctions, then they were taken to a warehouse, where they were loaded in containers. Subsequently, the containers were sent to the port for loading on vessels.

So, for the transportation of containers from the warehouse to the port, we arranged a small park of tractors. This park was owned by a man, Dima (name changed). He had four or five cars, I don’t remember exactly. One tractor he himself drove, on the other hired drives, a couple of mexes and a couple of Russian-speaking.

In general, the transportation of highway trucks is a very difficult occupation in the United States. But from the side, Dimin’s business was just a fairy tale. First, the distance is short, only 3-4 miles in one direction. He took a full container to the port, brought back to the site an empty container, put it on the loading, and time to rest. Dima himself in a day had time to do at least 4, and more often, even 5 walks. Its guides, a little smaller, 3-4 walks. Take a loaded container - $120. Bring an empty – $50.

A good schedule, apportioned plates (i.e. registration for several states) are not required, all shipping in one state. Both himself and the guides sleep at home every night, not like long-range fighters, but get almost the same amount. The big plus is that he, like the owner, every day sees his tractor in what condition it is. Even more pleasant, it is quite possible to do with old tractors, because the length and wear are minimal. Well, and in addition, every worker in sight, under the supervision of the fatherland, so to speak.

I will not say that Dima held the Lord for his beard, but he had his piece of bread, with a fat layer of oil and ivory.

I talked to him once.
- Dimich, tell me the secret, how did you fit into these transportations?

He told me:

It was funny. I didn’t even have a lightweight in the Lower, although I gave up on the right. By profession I am an engineer, but after university by specialty I did not work, could not work. In the 90s, his mother. He worked as a security guard, even traded in the market. My wife, Lenka, is a teacher. It’s not a salary, it’s tears. Tired of getting worse. They were able to go to the United States, small then just started walking. They sold everything that was. I earned, as I remember now, $13 thousand.

They arrived. The distant relatives took the first time, thank you. What to do? There is no language, no experience, no special knowledge, no licenses, but the family needs to be fed. Here a long-time friend, still from the army, painted. The female has been in America for 5-6 years. He asked me:
Do you have a grandmother?
I say, I have 10 dollars.
Come here here.
Why Why?
You will see.

I trusted him and gave him money. But, obviously, I sit, I’m all on the nerves. That’s almost all there is. And there is Lenka brainwashing.

Early in the evening he picked me up in the car.
Where are we going?
Now you will understand everything yourself.
Bring it to the square, there the truck stands. Old, he is 25 years old with a hook, but looks decent. Someone is wrong nearby.
This is what? I ask.
The woman looked at me and said loudly.
Dummy, this is your truck. You can’t get the best for 10 coats. The task – half – I’ve already given him. You have no way back. We go make papers. Remember, this is a true piece of bread. Remember, from now on, you are an entrepreneur. Everything is in your hands, if you want, you can sail.

At first I almost fainted. Then I wanted to give him a mouth. Where are you going from the submarine? I finished the course and started to turn. The rest you see yourself.

I am so grateful to the woman!

We came to the office and found that someone voted for us.
- And you can imagine what the members of the commission - they came to the site to work, and for them someone already counted the votes!

When you want her/he is not love, love is when you want her/he to be well

Excellent story from a recent TASS interview:
German Greff was stolen $2,000 from Sberbank card. He paid for her during a trip abroad. The perpetrators took $500 per transaction. They managed to remove two thousand, until he called the bank and was able to agree to block the card. Apparently at first he was told, “Here is where the map was opened, there and go.”

The descendants of the Russian emperors live abroad.
The descendants of the revolutionaries live abroad.
The descendants of the Soviet generals live abroad.
Fugitive oligarchs live behind grace.
Prominent oppositionists live abroad.
The families of the current officials live abroad.
And they all argue among themselves how to equip Russia.

Xxx: The daughter (7 years old) says, "Let's let me clean up for the money, flooring, etc."

We with my wife "Let's make no problems, my mom massage you will do 25 rubles, beds fill 25 rubles, dishes remove 25 rubles and so on." They agreed, hit in the hands.

The daughter begins to clean the beds and immediately comes to her the thought, "Listen, and the massage of the mother's back is much easier than the beds to bed. Let me for 50 rubles I will cover the beds and clean the dishes for 100 rubles.

We are in one voice with my wife "Eeee, does not eat. Daddy for 25 rubles will clean the dishes himself, and massage mom to do and you will remain without work."

“Yes no. It’s okay, I’ll do it myself now.” This is how the child quickly learned lessons about disproportionate pay, competition and stupid bosses.

Yyy: Now start taking her money for food...this will be a surprise for her...

For a fabulous prospective bubble which only fairy tales do not compose!

Two years ago, I went on a business trip to America. At some point, a black man was trying to slip ahead of me. I asked him to get up at the end of the line. He instantly picked up the air in his chest and said very loudly and hysterically, "It's all because I'm black?!"

I am a non-conflict person and quite scary to aggressive people who are bigger than me. But at that moment, without expecting myself, I calmly gave up:

“No is. That’s because I’m Russian” and with the wildest Russian accent added, “do you have any problems?”

There was silence in the cafe. The black man was slightly discolored and left. I never understood - because of the fear of stereotypes about dangerous Russians or he did not know what to answer because of a system error.

P.s The manager was very polite with me :)

P.s S Then I tried all day to figure out where I got that last phrase from. And I remembered, it was in the speech of a comedian, he told how he was saved by the Russian accent in a critical situation. It really saves, and I didn’t think that all this Russian beetle could ever be useful in life. Thank you to the American cinema for the images of the Russians shot on their heads.