The Tajik Roman

The 90s. In the Deaf Taiga military part. The young lieutenant arrived with his wife. Together they looked fairy. Not that he was quite small in height, and with the muscles it was okay. There is something in the middle between Pushkin and Putin. Weakened, just below average growth. A normal man, not a dwarf at all. But in the background of his wife he looked like himself. Original articles by Baba. Her name was Zinaida.

It was difficult for them at first. Letehu was constantly hunted into the guards, and she could not find a job, all women's vacancies were occupied. But she did not despair. She was a native of Taiga, feeling at home in a new place. Summer was over when they arrived. It’s time for her, baby summer. She managed to collect supplies in the forest for the whole winter, then hit the salt, marinade and drying. I only managed to squeeze the banks and throw the bags into the basement. The grandmothers around were jealous – they were generally afraid to hang in the taihu. There were terrible bears. Zina was not embarrassed. Several times I encountered these bears, but kept calm, somehow established a dialogue with them, went apart.

The lieutenant, a man of the city, on the contrary, is dumb and cruel. He was borrowed by the burdens of the Tajik service when the frosts broke. And at home, another difficult test awaited - a joyful grandmother flourished in the fresh air.

It’s not that in this military town they like to talk, but it’s like an orbital station – you can’t hide anything. Multi-apartment houses, interconnections between them. No one will whisper if it shrieked overnight behind the wall and quieted. But if several times a night wake up stones, vividly reminiscent of a bear reef, then any neighbor will be angry. When will these fools go out! And then he walks this miracle in pursuits with black circles under his eyes, his soldiers are arranged. And there will be a harsh assessment of colleagues - weak! That grandmother caught me! It was wrong caliber.

Especially worried about this ambal of flags named Bora. He was a Zen caliber. The rich of the Russian land. A good guy was this Borja, but not everyone will decide to do so. Specifically, no one in this town decided on Bora.

And then this tragic loneliness ended up falling in love with Zina by ears. He was sad that she loved her lieutenant. The wrong, he thought, was the choice made by this wonderful girl. Bora wanted to correct the mistake, played with it, but was resolutely sewn away and treated it with dignity. Heined a good, equal relationship with her.

A self-confident, powerful man, Borya had no doubt that sooner or later nature would take its own and it would strike in him. This is a lieutenant misunderstanding. Her real happiness is Bora.

However, the process of understanding the obvious fact by the girl was delayed. He stoically endured mental suffering. In moments of sadness, he walked dark like a cloud, trying not to get in her eyes at all. In a small town it was fun. It is easier to hide an elephant in a dishwasher. The sudden ringing of the pot in the capsicum once again announced to everyone that Bore was able to hide when he saw Zina again. And that he is very sad. And with what he specifically messed up all these pots, fun hypotheses were built.

This was also known to the Lieutenant. He probably boiled inside, but also kept dignity and tranquility from the outside. Well, I fell in love with some tragic ambal in his wife. You will not command the heart. A good flag fights itself, even hiding. His behavior is perfect. Submitting a report on translation means showing your weakness. Leteha held the honor of an officer. A cup in the eyes.

Zina noticed this ugliness and treated it in her usual manner – actively. She surrounded her husband with care and affection. I accepted to feed him with delicious dishes for which there was a masterpiece.

They sent him to remote guards where the kitchen was forbidden. So that the spark does not blink. And in general, the guard on the sushi is much worse and more vigilant than usual. In those days, Zina waved over the taiga verstas. She wandered with hot cakes, soups and other snacks to her favorite. It was also for soldiers. Everyone was pleased with her.

The lieutenant rejoiced, began to regain forces. He gained weight well and by November smiled of a well-fed cockroach. He actively swung, began to do the sunshine tournament. At one glance at this spectacle, Bora honestly walked out of the side.

And one winter day, the Red Hat went back to her lover, with a box full of hot cakes. The flag’s heart could not stand. As he emerged from another shelter, he long and harshly sinked. Finally said:
Don’t go alone, Zina. The bear has gone bad. Let me accompany you. I have a rookie. Don’t be afraid of your Othello. I’m standing behind the turn, I won’t shake my eyes. I smoke, I eat your cakes. Then I will take you back.

Zina thought about it. Why the bear went bad, it was clear. All the normal bears had already fed no worse than her husband and went to sleep on the bars. And whoever does not lie down is a very bad bear, will eat anyone.

She agreed to the convoy of the flag. I gave him a large bag. I looked at his rookie with admiration. In general, an impressive figure.

The devil knows what’s in his head. Is the look mad, or is the tempting thought that he is deaf? Far away from the house, and to the guard. Per they did not go along the way. But in any case, he suddenly woke up in the midst of the marriage season.

He dropped a rogatine and a bag on the road. He looked at Zina furiously, raised her on his arms and carried her to the nearest nuts. The purpose of transportation of the flag could not be clearly explained. I stumbled into her with a warm kiss. She turned her head desperately.

He did not explain the wise plans of his flag, he simply carried it away. Getting out of his hands was risky. What a good thing on a suck is sharp. In a fight, it can be stifled. Not in man.

Zina, coming out of the otropy, tried to calm down and made a plan. He recalled the tactic of Barclay de Tolley when retreating from the border to Moscow itself - to exhaust the enemy. No matter how strong Bora was, the weight he raised was epic. With each step towards the nuts, the flag became weaker, and she became stronger.

When Bora, in order to stumble, carefully put her on the ground, she sent him with a powerful hook into the nickdown, which smoothly went into a deep knock-out. Bora stumbled and fell heavily.

And Zina began to think about what she would do next with that mortar. I did not want to leave them in the forest. Suddenly it freezes to death. Or freeze something. It finally gets cold. The bear comes out of noise. Blood from the nose. The smell of shadows is beautiful.

I thought hard, and breathed. She took a rogatine in her hand, a bag with cakes on her shoulder, pressed the flag boots with her armpits and went on. The flag is not an obstacle. His hands were bound by his shirt. Is it little. His shirt was left on his neck. He needs a man on the snow. It’s so hot to pull such a bowl.

The path was difficult, difficult. A few times the flag broke. He began to move his feet. The merciful virgin breathed, turned and gave him another hook from all her heart. I cried and thought. How to explain all this shame to my husband.

I find it difficult to express further words. It became a legend of the part. It was told in the evenings years later. Everyone is different. I grew up in a military town. Easy to reproduce:
The alarm! Unknown people are approaching the object. Stand up, hands up!
(by looking at it)
Guys, the ass is going on!
(Looking into the binoculars, confused)
A huge ass!

And poor Zina is just tired of the tricks of the flag. At some point, he turned on his brain and gathered forces. He tried to liberate himself with a powerful movement. The prize for the smart got a new hook. Then she pulled her arms, turning back forward. I had to throw away the roast and a portion of the cakes. Not too long, they will be picked up.

The lieutenant, looking carefully into the binoculars, recognized his ass, canceled the alarm and sent a couple of soldiers to meet him.

Shortly after, the scene in the capsicum.

“Sasha, you can imagine a shadow bear has attacked us! As soon as he did not get rid of him. I was lucky, right in the nose. He was confused and fled.

During this time, Borya woke up and found that he was being dragged by his legs again. I looked around and noticed that Zina was no longer there. His golden heart was affected.
Is she alive?! to
and yes! The servants answered – he has it!

Bora heavyly stood on his feet and went to explain to the leitech. By this time, Zina finished her story about the feats of Boris in the battle with the bear, and they kissed. Borya drowned indecisively at the threshold. Welcome to the gathered. He repented as he could.

Sorry of course. I grew up in a normal village. Honest women resist to the last. As long as you are cowardly, if a girl says no, but smiles, it means yes. What a couple you are! Laughing alone. So I decided...

In this place of repentance the flag arrived a couple from the angry lieutenant. He was a master of boxing sports.

In the future, they had an equal, respectful relationship. But for a long time, the dishes crumbled on the caps.

You read that the word “Dutch” will no longer be used, but only “Dutch.”
And why?
“There it is believed that the word ‘Dutch’ is associated with drugs and the Red Light Quarter.
Will our Dutch cheese also be renamed?
Don’t worry, the cheese is still there. I have never heard of it in Holland.

I don’t buy lottery tickets because I’m afraid of winning a billion.

I work outside the city, I go to work always in the same inter-city bus, with the same driver, at the same time. The distinctive feature of the bus - it is bright yellow, so I am not afraid to miss it, and calmly, I listen to the music in the headphones at the stop, knowing that something yellow is about to flash. Well, today, as usual, I stand at the stop, listen to music... Suddenly, through the headphones, I hear a very loud car signal, I look, some bus stands, the door opens, and there my driver screams - "yellow has gone... sit down, or you will be late to work!"
This is good morning :)

For the employees of the airline "Victory" in hell provided a separate boiler size 36x30x27cm.

Comrade was undergoing a medical examination recently, told a funny case. There is such a hearing check at the LOR, when the doctor whispers to you from one end of the room, and you have to call them back. Well, the comrade meant to go to the other end, and it began:

Is the rack ready?

T is ready.

Thirty and Three,

Thirty Three (also whispering)

A to A? What?

We are now in a surprising situation.



People who grew up without computers/mobile or with minimal presence of computers/mobile do not know whether to allow their children computers/mobile.



And people who from childhood played and got into iPhones, have not yet grown up to their children. So we do not know how they relate to this.



So I’m on human rights, who have been using a computer since 1988 and a mobile phone since 1996.



Children need to have full access to all technologies. Give them smartphones, tablets, computers, notebooks, smartwatches, gadgets, virtual reality helmets – until they break. Let them take what they can. There are no harmful technologies, there are overdoses and no restrictions.



The most important thing about children’s education is schedule.



If you go to sleep at 9 o’clock, go to sleep at 9. And before that you can build a house with a bunker in Minecraft, why not? If the internet is limited to two hours a day, it is limited to two hours a day. And at these two hours you can watch YouTube videos about dinosaurs, why not?



It is necessary to set limits on time, content, expenses, set parental controls, etc. All the rest, let them explore and learn.



Nevertheless, children in the first grade will already see all possible porn sites and learn all the native words, but at least they should know that parents have taken care that this is not part of an accessible norm. This is the basis of healthy education.



Gadgets do not make children worse. Parents who prohibit gadgets do.

The ranks in the clinics are created by healthy grandmothers to suppress the weak and sick. The interior selection.

Not history, but a kaleidoscope of memories of the 31st of December.
We met NG and on duty at the Hospital and in hospitals - well, yes, we drank a drink, but we also treated, and pulled out, and all, thank God, are alive...
Once in the New Year's Eve they went out of the table, my duty was, at the shutdown of electricity, half a city without light and a tree tree... by two o'clock of the night the accident officers did everything, "at Moscow time" the people and the TV looked, and the champagne was not blindly opened...
Once, a student who was late from the train for New Year’s drunkenness, a police patrol carried me down with the words, “Let’s go at -54 degrees at night, you’ll freeze again, go, drink there.”
And in the planes of the NG met, and in the trains... pilots and mechanists with steward stewards served, smiled and congratulated...
How many times the taxi drivers in the focus at midnight to the place...

To all who work on the New Year’s Eve – health!
And a small drink!

In fact, the roads in Russia are not damaged by trucks, but by yachts.

We had one client. He often walked into the office, behaving like an old friend. And I have a bit of such, usually such people try to wipe out to give up later. And it lasted almost half a year. Here is his first long-awaited order. My little one did not fail, begins asking for a deferral of 30% of the amount. That is, 70 immediately and 30 after delivery of material to the facility. The customer will give money when he sees the goods. The material was two-component. He paid 70% and vowed to bring the rest in two days maximum. I give him the product but without the second component. I decided to put the second component when it is calculated, and he hasn’t said anything yet. In terms of money, I do not lose anything, I only spent one basic component on paper, conditionally speaking without a reagent. I tell him that before the work must be called by the master, so that I can advise, and that without a call, they do not start. have agreed. The next day. The phone was turned off, just like the next couple of months, but as I expected. Then he claims to the office and demands compensation, said the material is shit. I calmly show him the inscription on the packaging, where black on white is written that you need to mix the component "A" with the component "B". And the second component he did not buy at all. So you can go with your claims on three funny letters. He left with hysteria and mat. Instead, he lost about $8,000. And I was happy to punish another bastard. I never regretted them.

It was worth one time to look for a self-propelled device in Yandex - and I was fooled with contextual advertising for three weeks. Rectification columns, areometers, distillators, distillation cubes and wine yeast were offered inexpensively. Tired, started pressing the crosses and saying that the goods were bought / the service was found, break up. And today I was met with a joyful proposal: “Alcoholism treatment! It is cheap!“”

I recently crossed the U.S. and Canada border to Buffalo. I give passport.

The border guard asks, “Who’s this passport?”

I answered, “My own.”

He mistakenly took his mother’s passport. I think it's all, or it's immediately unplugged, or it's a couple of hours gone and then unplugged.

He asked, “Did you cross the border this year?”

“Yes.”

He asked me to show my driver’s license, checked on the computer and missed it.



On the way back, the Canadian migrant asked, “How long have the Americans held you?”

I said, “Two minutes.”

They said, “Well, then we will not delay.”

A friend, even before moving to the capital, was very long and stubbornly looking for a wife. The girls he liked holistic, held throughout life, and most importantly - combining the format "the horse will stop racing" and gentle care of the home fireplace. He himself has achieved a lot, is sporty, beautiful - therefore, as they say, "has a full right." But something did not stick. One is not so, the other.



Here is the year 2015. New Year's corporate, all somewhat discouraged by the course and other news, so on the tables and on the program everything is very modest, and the institution is chosen in a remote and somewhat disadvantaged area. But the boss in the form of an exception went to concessions, and allowed to invite in addition to the husbands - wives for 1 friend - a friend, to expand the company, so to speak. A friend's colleague hinted the day before that he would invite one of his very interesting friends, a girl who is extraordinary and "confident you will like it."



The company is small and everyone can sit at one table. A small explanation - the hall started right behind the restaurant door, dressed right in it, and the bathroom - at the other end of the entrance.

The chef says a toast, and at this moment a girl enters the hall, in a expensive shirt, beautiful, but only her appearance is such as if she had just been fucked in the back seat of a taxi for half an hour, and she barely had time to put herself in order a little - the cosmetics slightly "drived", the hair is shaken, the breath is heavy, etc.

Masha, what has happened?

- You imagine, a taxi driver on the ice in the pillar entered 500 meters from here, I think close - I will come. And in the middle of the road, four copters tied up - wanted to take the bag along with the sweater.

In the hall, the angry male and female outcry of the format "How terrible to live in this city", "What is done around", "How can a girl walk around the area alone at such a time" and so on.

And only a friend's colleague, Masha's girlfriend suddenly bleeds and cries out:

Masha, are they alive?

Alive and alive! and calm! Two of them fled, and for the others I called an ambulance.



P.S. My friend is well married, my daughter is 2 years old. He says that there is no disagreement in the family, because it is more expensive to argue with the counterintelligence major:)))))



© travel1980

I stayed at my grandmother’s house and she left for her birthday. She had a lamp, thick like that. I watch NTV, a report is going, about ghosts, and there they show a fragment from the movie "Call", where the grandmother is looking directly at you. Here the light is cut off. And in old telics after turning off the silhouette of the image remains for a while. In general, I am lying alone in the dark, and this grandmother is looking at me... I ran out of the house and sat on the bench, waiting for my grandmother. He arrived late.

Yesterday, a man brought me a car for polishing. Precisely pour the lacquer and polish. (In a few years, the old lacquer was very "crushed") I prepared the car in two days, and poured the lacquer. And today he calls me with such a thought, the wife said that if the car for the new year is in repair, then the whole year will be, and you need to urgently pick up the car. I say that the lacquer is not dry, if you drive it out under the snow and dirt with road salt, then everything will be sad. But as they say, the customer is more visible, and he tomorrow "at lunch* takes the car, which I finished lacking today at 8 p.m., and they and their wife go to their family in another city. Fortunately, all my calls are recorded and all this nonsense I have saved for the event of a preview. This is how weakness triumphs over healthy thinking.

It is bad when there is little humor in life, even worse when there is a lot of satire.

Auschniks and representatives of criminal subcultures clearly distinguish with whom you can eat at the same table, and with whom not, this distinction is characteristic of any caste system.
Tolerant Europeans are alien to this division, and the interaction of representatives of these cultures sometimes leads to a bizarre plot.

A vivid example is the story of the Swedish ambassador and his Hindu driver. The two worked together for 10 years, during which the ambassador regularly rushed to serve his driver with sandwiches, breakfasts and lunches. The driver was always polite and refused to eat alone.
For the tenth year the ambassador was persistent in his invitation, reluctantly stating that the difference in their social status, which he believed was the cause of the rejections, meant nothing to him, offered to reject modesty and prejudice and eat together.
The driver replied that he could not reject prejudice in any way, as a brahman, it was difficult for him to take food with an ambassador not belonging to the two-time baron, and accordingly standing below him in the cast system. In the picture of the world of the chauffeur, the ambassador for 10 years tried to spoil his karma (to spoil in our way), but the brahmin, stiffened by the framework of service relations, was forced to give himself the labor to refuse him extremely polite.

Turtles can survive a nuclear war, but they cannot survive a newspaper strike.
This once again proves how dangerous modern paper media is.

In the period from 2012 to 2014 he worked in a small but very remarkable office, dealing with the sale of computer and equipment. Among other things, the range diluted tablets Apple, Samsung. Of the smartphones only Apple, because. by Dir. I loved this technique. Well, not about them now.

We were three in the store. Three salesmen. Then, on a beautiful summer day, the entrance door opens and enters:

Q: Are there any plans?

My colleague asked polently:

K: Good morning. Yes of course. There are tablets from Apple and Samsung. Something to advise?

M: I have this Apple. What is Samsung?

Q: This is the option, this is the option.

Details of the work of the seller with the customer. They came together on one of the versions of Korean engineering thought.

M: OK, give me a print on it.

Q: Of course, please keep it here.

The man took the printed account (always done so that in the future on the basis of that to create a realization, but not the essence) and left.

No one paid attention to this fact, of course, did not. Many people take paper, go on their business, compare prices, read reviews, and so on. If everything suits, it returns, orders the purchase.

The inscription on the black background: “A few weeks later.”

The entrance door of the store is opened. The same man comes in and almost throws the box with the tablet, which was previously discussed, on the table of my colleague from the threshold.

Take that shit, give me the money back!

Q: Okay, but what is the reason for the return?

M: I don’t like him. I suggested some hernia. Give me my money back and I’m gone.

A colleague looks, there are no sales for this miracle of engineering thought, the serial number in the database of sold devices is not counted.

Q: This is not our product. Have you purchased it from us?

M: Of course not! I bought it in Thailand. As you suggested, I bought it. In the store showed your paper, I sold this model. He does not fit me. Fucking something.

K: So be calm. What do I have to do here?

M: What is it about? ! to You have advised me! He told me everything about him! Give the money back or...

Q: Here is a book of reviews and suggestions. Write to.

M: What to write?

Q: What you consider the reason for the refund of funds, then write.

M: I will not write anything! You are...! I am you...!

K: All the good.



And you say, the bottle of spatle was used and asks for the money back. Here a man at all in another state purchased a thing, and we (such ones) refused to return him the money :)