here here :

A situation from my life. The Winter. It is cold. I am in Pushkin. I am looking for an address. I walk through the courtyard. In the yard, the housewife breaks out a carpet. Next to the housewife is a lame such a Labrador. I am 10 meters from them. I stop (I don’t fit!!) And I ask: "Don’t tell me where the house number is here.?" Here the dog jumps up, carries on me, jumps and gets stuck in the hand (good that I’m in the box)...
and...

When did you change your clothes?

The fucking
— — — —
JavaEE programmer, forced to write an application at work. Bat'nik running the program after the output of the error closes within a second, the error for this time do not read, so at the moment I do Print Screet and in Paint I look at the error, after the fifth error realized that it was time to the project to twist log4j.
— — — —
Do you want to run the batnik from the console religion does not allow? Or pause at the end? Didn’t he learn to read?

Here is this:
JavaEE programmer, forced to write an application at work. Bat'nik running the program after the output of the error closes within a second, the error for this time do not read, so at the moment I do Print Screet and in Paint I look at the error, after the fifth error realized that it was time to the project to twist log4j.
____________
It is blurred :((
Yes, you, such frog programmers, need to be sent to the collective farms, to do the most unskilled work. His batnik closes in a second, trying to knock him.
How is it?

I’ve also always regretted homeless dogs. She feeds. And then I saw how one of those who seemed to me so cute, defenseless and not aggressive, who licked my hands - on the neighboring street in two seconds (I didn't even have time to scream) driven out of the car a pregnant cat, caught in 2 jumps and broke her stomach.

She didn’t even eat it, she just ripped her teeth, looked at the roaring cat and went to her business.

Hang your bucket about the good barbos somewhere else.

What new I learned by checking the works of my 5th grade on the subject "The image of Gerasim in the novel "Mumu" of Turgenev":
1) Gerasim 60 years old, and he is immortal (I’m not joking, so it was written);
2) the lady ordered Gerasim to drown Mummy and Olga, whom he loved (an interesting plot, especially considering that Tatiana was in the Mummy...);
3) the appearance of Gerasim is remarkable: he does not like drunkards (obviously, it was read in the eyes... or it was written on the forehead);
4) by the nature of Gerasim attached (to which attached - not indicated; it is possible that to the fence);
5) to his hometown Gerasim left because he was tired of working as a courtier in a strange city (and what did you think, because of the death of Mum?) is
Children’s pearls are a thing! :D

I thought how funny it would be if, by analogy with meters and feet, there was a difference in this too. There would be bear forces in Russia, horse forces in the United States, elephants in India, and camels in Egypt, and slaves in ancient Egypt.

The enemy can be a friend. Never a traitor.

In the 80s, one student studied with us at the institute, as such they are called "with strange things". He once argued that if you stand on the subway platform behind the yellow line, the mirror of the train will not affect you anyway :) Well, and decided to prove it to everyone "in practice"... I ask :
The mirror?
He in response:
The mechanic...
As the witnesses later said. He stood on the platform at the first wagon behind the line, stretched his neck to the side of the paths and waited for the train. The mechanic of the arriving crew saw a fool standing in dangerous proximity, stopped the train by a metro 5 from the stop line, came out of the wagon and struck him in the mouth! )))))

Bill Clinton’s popularity grew sharply after the shooting of Yugoslavia.
Charlie Hebdo’s circulation has grown hundreds of times after the shooting of her employees.
...
So, there are still ways to improve the work and popularity of the State Duma and government.

The wife discusses with her son (10 years old) who he wants to be.
A: The cook
If you are a cook, you can practice at home.
Q: Can you practice at home?
A: Of course
I want to be a surgeon!!! to

DK: What happened there?
Tagged: nuu
Lav: we were hard to hold when we were introduced to the client – Arkadiy Vederko
Lav: But when we were told that Mr. Vederko was pleased with us, there was a collapse.

Recently, there is such an impression that new updates to the Skype program only change the advertising banners on the home screen.

Shizz‎: When I learned that one of my comrades had the name Vagin, I thought it would be harder for him to find a wife.
greg_fat‎: by
‎greg_fat‎: sorry to have a guy
‎shizz‎: Well he can take the wife’s surname :)
‎al.trg‎: the main thing is not to disappoint and call the son of folks

A friend asks in a toy store: “Do you have cubes of different shapes?” And they gave her!

How to kill a man by a byte?
xxx: beating 8 bits

Judging by the mood in the modern church, if suddenly a man with a good and light face appears and says that he is Jesus, he will be crucified very quickly.

Indeed, if he gets a fire sword and starts to crush everyone in response, and he himself is unkillable, then all those who want to crush him will immediately repent and recognize him as Jesus.

This well shows the essence of any official form of religion.

In the discussion of the conversion of Yandex.Bar to Yandex.Elements:

Yandex.fire, Yandex.water, Yandex.land, Yandex.air and Yandex.Mila Jovovich

to all:
xxxxxxxxxxx:
You will laugh - the librarians now also require a certificate of psychiatry.

WOW :
We will not. You work with ice, putting pressure on the human psyche with advice on the selection of books!

Directly thriller can be filmed: a maniac library worker cheats people books about bzshdnst and thus brings them to suicide.
____
You won’t believe, S. King already has a book "Library Police".

to this:

I read the instructions for the drug, side effects section: increased libido, hypersexuality, pathological attraction to gambling, depression.
I will be with a sad face turning roulette raping some man."

hypersexuality + depression...hm)so this is what is "ebou and I cry")))

I noticed that when I was assigned the responsibilities of a labor safety specialist, I began to turn off the mixer from the grid before licking the cream for the cake.