bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107269
 24.12.2014
Can you have an accountant at your disposal?
222 - is
......
222: - Although the weather, I'll call him right away, it seems he's already out.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107268
 24.12.2014
WannaCry got a name long before we met. In principle, they have the right to demand.
The Russian language appeared slightly before the appearance of Belarus, Moldova, Kyrgyzstan and Ukraine. And your claims to the language can be removed.
– – – – –
Again, they will say that the Jews are all to blame ;-) The Russian language originated from Sanskrit, and such purely Russian names as Ivan, Mary, Peter are Jewish. Not everyone understands humor, but I risk.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107267
 24.12.2014
Yes, I would rather survive post-apocalypse than in this crumbling civilization!!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №107266
 24.12.2014
I’m waiting for the new year to sleep. It’s 12 and I’m going to sleep.
Go to sleep on January 1 at 00:00 and wake up on January 10 and 12.
11 to get yourself in order and 12 to work.
A modern fairy tale about a sleeping beauty...Russian women.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107265
 24.12.2014
My mother is a teacher of higher mathematics at the university. I gave the students a control on derivatives. Then check the work of a student from Turkmenistan. Clean white sheet of paper, above the name and name and accurately written: The table is arbitrary.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №107264
 24.12.2014
The Beer. One of the bartenders, passing by in non-working hours, from the store, decides to look around to say hello to a colleague and everyday people. Among the purchases is a bowl with eggs, which is placed on one of the tables.
One of the everyday people comes in, sees the pot, begins to joke out of anger:
What is it? Who put your eggs here? How not ashamed? Remove your eggs right away!
It’s not mine, it’s Slavica!
“Slavik, take off your eggs from the table!
They are not eggs.
And what?! to
These are chicken fruits!

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107263
 24.12.2014
There is an ancient Chinese curse: What would you live in the era of change... Which form has cursed my country?? to

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №107262
 24.12.2014
Holmes, why do you think the Ukrainian army, which has been bravely fighting with the Russian army that has captured Donbass for six months now, is not trying to recapture Crimea?
This is elementary, Watson. In fact, there is a Russian army in Crimea.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №107261
 24.12.2014
This
----------
And if the thief Serdyukov, the maniac Chikatilo, the Kushchevka bandits and other law-breakers suddenly announce that they are oppositionists and liberals suffering from the bloody regime, will you also go to rallies in support of them?
----------
Fantasing is good, but the fact that at the time of committing their crimes, Serdyukov and the Kushchevs were members of the EP where to go?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107260
 24.12.2014
Talk to my wife tonight:
Have you bought the cola?
I: So you went to the store.
Q: Why didn’t you tell me I wanted cocaine?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №107259
 23.12.2014
The cat was fed from a pipette.When he was a kid, he used to sleep with his husband on his neck. Now this 7-kilogram monster sleeps partly (with a tail) on my husband's neck, partly (mordy) on me. And it would be nothing, his whirlwind is strengthened, his moisture is elevated... but before going to bed he injects all the washes near the house, and is terribly offended that his beloved is driven out of bed...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107258
 23.12.2014
The Unforgettable University:
So, ladies and gentlemen, we take the notebook, open and divide the page into two halves. On the left you will write your version of translation, on the right - the correct one.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №107257
 23.12.2014
20:48 The Russian Federation Council intends to recognize the transfer of Crimea to the Ukrainian SSR as illegal: it was a revolutionary act
In general, it seems to me that the parliament of Mongolia must now be overthrown, and a law must be passed to abolish the exit of the prince of Moscow from the Golden Horde.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №107256
 23.12.2014
I go to the staff department today.
The cry (third size in a deep decoult) leaned over the table, saying, “Look, my eyes are red?”
I could not see the color. I am a daltonist.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №107255
 23.12.2014
The student girl was wildly confused when a computer science teacher offered her to get rid of the cycle and increase the buffer size.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №107254
 23.12.2014
I like the night. Especially walking at night. There is no soul on the streets. For a moment, you seem to be alone in this world. An unforgettable and beautiful feeling.
WOW: And then you remember that you are in Russia, catch something heavy and get home faster.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №107253
 23.12.2014
Discussion of a prospective vehicle.
Why are these victims? We would make a fast pipeline transportation in the city. I have a dream: I stuck the child in the capsule, after 2 minutes he was in the kindergarten. Do not go anywhere in the morning.
YYY: I’d have a penis in the capsule that night – and the problem would have disappeared by itself.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №107252
 23.12.2014
<xxx> The most reliable and proven way to pretend you are working is to work!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №107251
 23.12.2014
About the state of Russian science by Don Cesar de Basana:

Whoever desires knowledge, whoever is devoted to science,
They are burned on fire, condemned to torture,
But without shame today, as before,
The scientific degree is awarded to ignorance.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №107250
 23.12.2014
American reality is that if you don’t meet a good guy, you’re 100% gay.
Russian reality... whom you will not meet... either a pidor or a mudilo!!! to

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