Before you become a Doctor Who, you have to become a Candidate Who!

You want to laugh?
When I served in the Estonian army, there was a case, Estonia gave Latvia... a written haubice (da-da ONE), and you know why?
A year earlier, Latvia borrowed a tank to Estonia to conduct the exercises (one that drives but does not shoot, the second one that shoots but does not drive, I did not borrow... I seriously).

I found my brother’s old school piece in the warehouse. It became interesting how the younger generation perceives the surrounding world and classical literature. I start reading, first line: “Taras and Bulba were brothers...”
When he got out of the table, he decided to read it to the end. Learned a lot of new things, for example, that the bad brother was called Taras, and Bulba was a hero in the Cossacks, that the father killed the first for an out-of-marriage child, and the second was killed by the other grandmother and grandfather of the illegally born, for which the father later avenged them... a Mexican series, a mill... poor Gogol...

Hello to you, Matumba. Today you just conquered all the experts on the program "Battle of Cookers", I evaluated your fried shurshmail myself - it is wonderful. Share the secret of how you manage to cook so delicious, using only a boiler and a spoonful?
and ghosts. The spirits tell Matumba what to do.
Do the spirits want to say something to our viewers?
The spirits say, O miserable descendants of the human race, who have made themselves rulers of the earth! Children playing on the cover of the tomb of what once ruled the universe! It is still alive, an evil generation of the Ancient Times, and it will soon awaken! Cry, shake, for your rock is terrible. By the way, the perfume told Matumba to press two fresh cobras into your food.
I think I need a doctor urgently...
It will not help. The spirits said to Matumba, “Kill the Doctor first.”

About "positive traumatologists" remembered.
I broke my leg two years ago on an empty ice (a small beetle with a shift), 2.5 months in a plaster, it did not grow, I already thought of putting spikes and plates, here, finally, I come with a control X-ray, the doctor looks, says, and, well, it is noticeable that it started to grow, let’s have another week, and remove the plaster. I’m surprised, I’m so used to it.
How to remove gips? Can I direct?
- Yes Yes
Will there be nothing? Does not break?
What the doctor answers to me with the absolute pokerface:
It won’t break unless you get under the car.
All, only went on the green and only on the pedestrian crossings.

The GOST is legally approved Feng Shui!

Yesterday I finally learned why the USSR collapsed. A man of fifty years confidently proved to a saleswoman in a barbecue that the country had collapsed (literally): "And all the women are to blame! They wanted to wear foreigners instead of Soviet cowards. That is what it is!"

xxx: We were constantly frightened in the camp before going to bed and I could not sleep for a long time.

Yyy: And nobody told us the horror, but there was a friend of mine, her fingers on her hand turned in the opposite direction, so here she loved to joke: slowly opened the door to the room, pushed her terrible hand there and said with a dead voice, "Believing both of you, do-it-yourself!" I dreamed of this terrible hand later in my nightmares.

here here :
to this:
If in St. Petersburg, a strawberry is a strawberry, then a manna is a manna? and"
___________

Everything is right. A hat - a hat, a spoon - a bed, a barrel - a barrel, a cat - a basket, etc.
___________
Sally! The salmon is forgotten!! to

We at work have a cafeteria on the first floor, where you can buy food in containers with you or just hide it on site. So, I sit alone, eat, here comes a worker from a neighboring facility and makes an order. Next the seller (P) and the worker (R):
Q: Are you in the container or will you be here?
R: What is it?
(P): Well, will you take it with you or will you eat like a girl? (He goes to me)
The man turned, looked at me and said:
I eat more carefully. Take it with you.

The xxx:
Good morning, I dreamed of you in a jacket in a net and a shirt to my knees. What would this be?
YYYY :
The greeting! It is to the bad and to the good.
The clothes in the grid are to the sky in the cage, and the shirt to the knees is a short time to hang.

to this:

In the local newspaper, the advertisement of the recruitment agency, and there in the list among the waiters, carpenters and other carpenters are required plaster cartridges. Who are these gips carton makers? And what do I need to do with the gips to cartonize it?

You are not living in the 21st century. Have you heard of Gipsy Carton? How did they do it, did they not think? So here, I work in the construction industry and I will tell you:
You have a card. You get a plaster, and you carton it all day. And in the evening for the supplement you sleep on this so that you get flat leaves.

Did you hear how the Russians call the ass?
No, but how?
The economic paradigm of this...
What a beautiful language.

From Habr:

PapaBubaDiop: I had a funny case on November 6. A friend barreled iPhones, in the hot time of the output of the six was sitting in Oregon, melting goods to Russia through a stewardess.

On November 6 in Moscow, the bucks became 50 rubles. I thought and called a friend in America:
In Russia, the phone is sold for $630, do you want a batch?
Go to J@P, it’s not funny.

He dropped, in short, the phone. Twenty minutes later he calls:
How many iPhones can you buy in Moscow?

Natalia suddenly realized. Vkontakte cannot be mated because there are children, on FB - because there are employers. I will probably go to the kitchen.

This
=========
to this:
If in St. Petersburg, a strawberry is a strawberry, then a manna is a manna? and"
___________

Everything is right. A hat - a hat, a spoon - a bed, a barrel - a barrel, a cat - a basket, etc.

It is...

I wonder about vodka.

<Tap> In Prague English is heard more often than in Moscow - cultural Russian.
<Tap> However, the cultural Russian language in Prague is also heard more often X)

Kiev has no luck with the mayor. Did you hear what Klitschko betrayed? Traveling in the subway, he says, does not travel: as there was one token, so it will remain.
YYY: They are funny. My son will never get such a fist. He honestly and frankly says: "The journey will be expensive, expensive and expensive".

Today just made my day happy a boy of three or four)) He ran after his parents and shouted "Stand up, yuk makalök!! I can’t beat fast! My mouth is shrinking!!and "

Mission to work at sea.
I wanted to see the sunset, but it worked. I wanted to see the dawn, but I slept.
I have never seen the sea.