bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №105989
 27.11.2014
Near the coast of Spain rescued drug traffickers trying to burn 18 tons of hashish on a ship
"and a good mood will not leave us anymore", - accompanied by songs of the act of burning police

[ + 28 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105988
 27.11.2014
Let the law, according to which a woman in case of refusal to do abortion will be deprived of the right to alimony - will be any more suitable "reflectors".
__________________________________
Uncle, you are so right that you are straight. Do you really think they are all the same? Can I tell you another story?
He refuses to use condoms. Because "feelings are not you". And the girl, being a naive fool, still gives him, especially because he promises to pull out his instrument in time.
Only the tool he does not remove, because it is much more pleasant to finish inside than outside.
And then, when the test shows two strips, it merges, claiming that it’s not his problem.
Abortion can sometimes not be done for medical reasons.
A sharply intelligent girl gives birth, filed in court for the establishment of paternity, and for alimony alone.
And our "hero" then tells friends stories about the pierced condoms...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №105987
 27.11.2014
I recently bought a free coffee machine. There is not even a gap for coins in it physically. Nevertheless, every time he pouches coffee, he writes on the screen "Thank you for the purchase!" Long thought about what it would be for. Finally, it was he who thanked him for buying it.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №105986
 27.11.2014
26 November 2014
NASA: In December, Earth will sink into darkness

31 December 2014
I sell 500 candles. 25 packages of lights. 300 kg of rice. 250 kg of strawberries... 200 kg of wheat... and three strawberries... and also – five pairs of strawberries, seven fufaek, three guns and six kilograms of ammunition!
The self-export...
P. S is
NASA is a goat!!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105985
 26.11.2014
The wisdom tooth is called so because it appears when you are smart enough to go to the dentist and tear it off!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №105984
 26.11.2014
And my serenity will love me, he will overthrow mountains for me.
YYY: - I beg you, he doesn't even shake Dota for you.)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105983
 26.11.2014
Sergey Zverev is famous for believing that he is famous.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №105982
 26.11.2014
Comments to the news "The Unstoppable 3: Failure is the fault of pirates"
Sylvester Stallone as Nikita Mikhalkov, the pirates are to blame

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105981
 26.11.2014
The electric welder Ivanov is greatly offended by his parents.
It should have been given that name - Electric Sweater!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105980
 26.11.2014
Looked out the window.
The only thought - in such weather it is good only to send the snowmen to the forest.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105979
 26.11.2014
The audio network cable...

XXX: A very important moment! In order to fully feel the musicality of this cable, I highly recommend moisturizing the ears with a drop of vaseline. The effect will be amazing! The point is that the resistance of untreated acoustic lubrication (vaseline) ear channels does not coincide with the impedance of high-quality network cables. What is expressed in the loss of lightness and transparency of sound, dryness and excessive stiffness in the HF area. Elementary physics, my friends!

YYY: I bought a cable to connect the welding machine to the country.
The sound is perfect. A wide range of scales
But when welded, the rails of the bottom fall a little.
29 January 2014

ZZZ: The acoustic room is extremely important. There was a mistake, t. listening was conducted in the open air, which does not allow to open the range in the lower part! I recommend cooking in a room with the correct acoustic geometry and only in the morning until the ears are "blown"! I listened to him at my friend’s house in the kitchen, on a granite table. At 4 in the morning, it was amazing! Then the vacuum cleaner was turned on through it, the bottom opened even lower, even the neighbors called the police.

AAA: I think it’s a bit overwhelming :D :D

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №105978
 26.11.2014
I add :
here here :
— — — —
xxx: I needed a strawberry, I did not find the strawberries, so I took a meat cutter.
and----
What is wrong? The meat crushes completely...

Just the guys, except the electric meat mower, have seen nothing in life :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №105977
 26.11.2014
What people did with loans: all of these in shoes, with iPhones and Louivittons and a stucco in the bus

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №105976
 26.11.2014
The only thing I realized after watching “Interstellar” was that the older and thicker Matt Damon, the more he looks like Garic Buldog Harlamov.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №105975
 26.11.2014
Personal system administrator phrase: "For HR there is only an approved staff schedule. The person himself is only an optional attribute of the position."

Feel yourself a "optional attribute"...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №105974
 26.11.2014
Per it is better for you to keep quiet.? to
And the passport must be carried in Moscow, it is necessary for those "Moscowers", who came across its border...
And the indigenous people do not have a particular need... there that you are stuck... (from another indigenous moscovite).
___
Sorry, but the fact that you are an indigenous Moscovite - you have written on your forehead?

It grew up where milk fell out.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №105973
 26.11.2014
Alexander is
I came home when my mom was watching TV. News of the day: some alcoholics found some stone older than the dinosaurs, in which a computer chip is embedded. The end of the world has come long ago.

Serena
It was your computer, ifjo.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №105972
 26.11.2014
I noticed something like this: when a Swedish table for lunch in a Chinese restaurant costs only 150 rubles, office girls on thin legs, with long hairs and manicures begin to chew gobajos and pork with pineapples like forty-year-old men.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №105971
 26.11.2014
Smokers, not compelled or restricted by anyone, are localized exclusively in domestic varieties. And we have clean streets, where no one is bothering walking children, those walking behind us, and so on. T.o Non-smokers are happy too. Because on a fairy horse with all the desire you will not jump far :)
-
You will not believe, but among smokers there are decent people who think about the convenience of others. On our staircase for smokers there was a water ashes, a crown and a ashes bar, an anti-smoking air refresher and a slightly open window. After the Law, everyone went to smoke in their apartments on the balconies. As a result, the neighbors with the windows opened and said: better smoke in the entrance, as before.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №105970
 26.11.2014
She: What do you want from me?? to
He is: I? I do not want anything at all.
She: And why?? to

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