Mother comes in:
Yuri, I came to cheat you. I just forgot why...

The year somewhere in 2002 was, then even more products were purchased in the markets. The vendors were mostly travellers and Russian was given them with difficulty. I remembered one pricelist: "fungal corpse", guess what they sold? It is grapefruit. But the frightening value forced me to pass by.

About the film "The Most Drunk District in the World".
Tom Hardy walks the whole film with such a shaken face as if he’s seeing a woman for the first time.
But the apogee came at the moment when Jessica Chastain, tired of waiting for some action from him, herself comes to him in the bedroom naked, and he is so confused with her. At this moment someone couldn’t stand and a desperate female voice came out in the hall: “Borschi varu!” Something was hot in the kitchen!

A acquaintance told me. His wife bought two mops. These frogs grew up, grew up, and once some shit was eaten. They got sick, and they started asking for a pen. And when trying to jump to her on the fingers, they got sick. In general, he got to work a panic call from the series "Dear, come urgently, I'm all in the floating mops!!and "

From a tourist site about Vietnam (people are afraid that they will live in their room hexons).
Q: How to react to hexons and how can they be removed?
A: Please don’t react to hexons or harm them – they’re on our side in the fight against mosquitoes. The hexadecimals are completely harmless and themselves are very afraid of you and try not to get in the eye again. The only traces of their presence are sounds (like a strike) and snoop (practically invisible).

My friend is a miniature blonde. Today after another failure with the printing of documents asks me:
Why does the printer print for you and not for me?! to
This is because of the difference in growth.
What is?
"Well, I have to lean to him with my 190 cm in height, and most likely he thinks it's a sign of deep respect on my part. It’s just for me to print.

I was just taken to work on the horoscope :D
We discuss the vacancy on the phone, like all the norms, everyone is satisfied with it and here it is. The logist asks me
Who are you in the horoscope?
- Owen
–...
Does that matter? )
Yes, but in which year?
Sorry, I am not very familiar with horoscopes, the year of birth is 92.
Which animal is suitable for this year?
If I am not mistaken, the year of the monkey.
Sorry, we don’t take monkeys, we don’t take monkeys.

xxx> call, say "the proxy server refuses to accept the connection, contact your system administrator"
xxx> with an evil voice answer "It is better not to contact him";

Among those who love the Motherland, there are both amateurs and professionals.

As Nikolai Adolfovich once said, "I will leave for a moment, if someone comes to me - then tell me that I went to look for him."

The rabbit had not had a rabbit for so long that even the wolves were afraid of it in the forest.

> The only programmer was finally exhausted,
> but submitted the project – and even on time. It is beautiful! The young man!

Remember the classic:

A0 programmers decided to make the product,
One asked, “Where is the money?” and there were nine.
Nine programmers stood before the boss.
One of them did not know FoxPro, and there were eight left.
Eight programmers bought IBM.
One said, “Mark is better!” and there are seven.
7 programmers wanted help to read,
One has a screw, and there are six left.
Six programmers tried to understand the code.
One of them went crazy, and there were five.
Five programmers bought a CD-ROM
One brought the Chinese disc - the remaining four.
Four programmers worked on it.
One of them praised Pascal, and three remained.
3 programmers on the network played Doom,
One slightly stumbled, and the count became equal to two.
2 programmers have joined friendship: "win".
One is tired of waiting - there is only one left.
The programmer has taken everything under control.
But I met with the employer, and they remained 0.
0 programmers cheated the angry boss,
Then he fired one, and became their FF.

I’ve been in my own shower so long ago that every time I’m asked how old I’m, I painfully try to remember if I’m 30 or 30 years old.
– – – – –
A professional examination was conducted, the therapist asked my age, the answer gave seconds after 2 only. To her astonished question "What age do you remember?" he replied that the year of birth, unlike age, does not change every year, and to remember information, which during this time will only be useful to me a couple of times - irrational, easier to calculate when needed.

From the Animal Forum:
How to forgive a cat? The situation is as follows: You want to laugh around and meu says, you start to smooth it - immediately goes to another free place in a radius of half a meter and goes back to bed and meu says, in general, all the same cycle until you begin to ignore it, at the same time, the hands are not given, next to it also does not sit, maybe there is a code combination? 3 times for the tail to pull for the tail and 2 times to pull for the back left leg?

Palich: We sit with my brother and catch fish. Summer, morning, sunshine and silence Suddenly the brother jumps up, and with the scream “Oh, fucking, I almost forgot!” pulls the cell phone. He picked up the number and sang in the tube: “Dinozaurs, Dinoa-a-a-Vrics.” The song of M. Boyarsky. Then, as in nothing, he sits down and continues to cheer. I ask in the shower, “What was it now, fucking?” he declares quite calmly, “The woman called for work. She will now be singing and chanting this song all day. Tomorrow I have a plan for the Bremen Musicians.”
That’s what I understand trolls.

by Interstellar
Q: What is the movie about? About the corn?
yyy: I would say about what can push a single food :D

Olga: Hi, little girl) What do you do at school?
MonsterOnALeash: No such assessment
What if I find?

One of our employees decided to stick over colleagues and smashed the toilet paper with Ben Gay ointment. The other employee went to the toilet and naturally roasted his ass. Feeling the fire that encompassed the bulks, the guy launched from the toilet in the direction of the soul on the second spacecraft. He slipped on the canvas, crashed into the closet, stumbled and fled further. And the closet collapsed on the joker and broke the joker’s rib and two fingers on his hand.
Karma is her mother.

Review of the Game (Train Simulator)

and numb:
The game has a very small set of possibilities.
In the game you can not: take money from the lochs, deliver the left cargo, roll with the conductors.
As a result, this product cannot be called a simulator.

Harbour on a train on a magnetic pillow

A: The tickets will be gold. Already now, a plateau is worth like an airplane, and a coupe is a luxury in general. Prices were compared on the Moscow-Omsk-Moscow route in November of this year. No matter the difference in time.
B: Do you really think that the prices of all kinds of tickets (primarily rail) and gasoline in Russia depend heavily on the cost of construction/operation/self-cost?
A: I don’t know what it depends on. I know only that trains are not in my pocket, unlike planes. No matter how absurd it sounds.