The call:
We were just there, looking at a long black chair.
– Yes...
I want a white short.

Dialogue with a girl colleague, who again came to work at 13:30 with a free schedule, and suffers from it.

YYY: I’m all trying to introduce the regime.
XXX: And where is he?
I am leaving work on time.

In my office today again was filmed some high-spiritual Russian series - not that "The Curve Against Gorbatho", not that "The wide-spread legs of Dusi Raspriskina". I stood, I smoked, I watched the process: they shouted "Motor!", a crazy mass woman ran, a BNV ha-six (white color - probably a melodrama, not a militant) - and here suddenly the roar of a wounded bison is spread: "Achtizhopthoucherekrommylo!!!". Oh, I think, it’s a bit like – probably about the bandits! But the process stops - and the screams begin. It turns out that the picture was parked (completely according to the rules) car, but the owner could not be found, despite the "Call, if it interferes..." on the glass - it turns out, the man stupidly forgot the phone in the ashes. Then the filmmakers promptly turned Belarus into the Russian Federation, sticking the numbers with imitation of Russian number marks. And it has to happen that the car enthusiast approached his "cockpit" unnoticed and saw that the car is no longer quite his.

After the iPhone presentation:

Stas: You, the insidious seductor, distracted me from the iPhone presentation.
[23:05:33] Julia: (sun) Well I am better
Do you photograph well?
[23:08:25] Yulia: Yes
What is your permission?
[23:10:43] Julia: Different (depending on what I wear)
[23:11:36] Stas: Are you watching your user?
[23:12:53] And for myself and for the user)
[23:14:57] Stas: Lan, I will think)
[23:15:55] Julia: Give me those 32 thousand :D
[23:17:11] Staz: Figa se)
So what is better for you?
Julia: I didn’t say I was more profitable
[23:18:29] Stas: And by guarantee what?
[23:19:20] Julia: What another guarantee) If I break - then so should be)
[23:19:40] Stage :D

xxxh: I'm not on the go right now, just explain, on the figa had to arrange this hysteria yesterday in the right place? I agree, it was silly.
It’s because I’m a girl.
I think that when 'I'm a girl' is the only excuse for capriciousness, the guys begin to think seriously about the pros of homosexuality.
We, by the way, broke up with the former caretaker because he was a pedicure.
I saw him later with another girl. Probably in front of friends.
XHH: of course! by Facepalm

XXX is. for linguistically limited: the word "boyacca" came from the Belarusian language, where
It was long before the falls.

Yyy: Oh, that’s where the advice came from going to Bobruisk :)

I am very happy with the students today :D
xxx: I walk past the sporting venue near the school, and there was just the phyzra of the march went
xxx: and they were there kind of "happy starts" - two teams, one person runs, who is faster
xxx: well, and clear shit or stands rave type "Run faster!"," Shew the buttons!" and etc. and so on.
xxx: and through this the fierce voice of somebody "A no-ka,Tohah, chiki-briki and in the ladies!"

We hire a project manager.
He assigned us an interview for 3 hours.

You need to lie on the bed, but one
Put your foot on the floor. Helicopters
They stop! Learned by acquaintance
Biologist, working without fault"

Fuck, where were you when I was young... Now I can’t get drunk before helicopters, so I want to check...

Cultural man and hamit polite.

News from the Colorado People's Republic:
Colorado Governor John Wright Hickenlooper has written an open letter to President Barack Obama. John Hickenlooper asks the president to influence the Kiev authorities in order to exclude from the circulation in the media and the Internet traffic "Colorado". This is what supporters of the Kiev regime call their opponents. According to the governor, it is necessary to give an instruction to the SBU of Ukraine to withdraw this turnover from use. According to the governor, there were unforeseen problems with the population of Colorado. The fact is that 60% of the population of the state believes that it is their compatriots successfully fighting with some junta in Africa, especially inhabitants of the state are pleased with the reports of the downing of Soviet junta planes. 25% of the male population of the state came to the recruitment points with the aim of registering as a volunteer in the "SEPARATIST" units, to support their countrymen. Two self-defense units have been created by the state’s veteran organization and units are about to go to the southeast of the state to protect the residents of the state from the fascist junta headed by dictator Porosenkó.

For the prostitute Angela, going to the sauna is the only way to meet a deputy in her neighborhood.

Buying a Volkswagen Amarok
XXX: But I am a dwarf! I have a Volkswagen Rhythmbox and I have a Volkswagen Rhythmbox.
YYYY : YYYYYY Today I am changing my name to Ford iTunes! and :)
Zzzz: You are strange people.
xxx: Don’t worry, we’ll work on your Lada Windows Media Player too :-))

We have a staff here, Jules. A beautiful aunt. We all the time with our partner threaten that somehow after drinking we will stay overnight with her, and we will have group sex. What she responds calmly: "Stay there. Sex is sex. Just don’t wake up"

Hubble, discussing a single charger for all mobile devices

At night, when I get into the connector for the first time, the thought always flashes in my head: "Oh, great, from the first time! :) »
Well, if from the second, then I am not upset, not irritated as a neurosthenic and do not make this a tragedy - it is just a cable that needs to be inserted into the device.

Yyy: At night, when I get into the connector for the first time, the thought always flashes in my head: “Oh, great, from the first time! :) »

And it turns out that they got into the ethernet port...

zzz: The main thing is that there are no screams from the “device!”

Dear owners of the iPhone 5S! We remind you that today your phone has turned into a pumpkin, and you have become miserable.

I am here, the Gentile, I believe in the nuts.
The tree,
He was previously a Pastepharian, but began to get fat, disbelieved.

Now I re-read the old correspondence stories... B-je, what a...

But the joke about the "Ladu Channel" with a 1000-inch engine is still more funny than all that you post here.
P.S The quote is short.

-"There is no such shattered topic that could not be hit again."
C. Melanie