bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102969
 18.09.2014
xxx: well, try to relax and enjoy it :)

I confused the windows, sorry.

Is someone fucking in that window?

xxx:neye...there’s everything more banal: interruption :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102968
 18.09.2014
This is my job, I will even say what is depicted on the drawings. This is a line of 10 kV - 150 m., with a drop from the support, to the CTR and from it goes the line of 0.4 kV., it is located in p.
What?
There are high-voltage wires on the concrete columns to the iron cabin, which makes the "burning" and the wires go away from it, which will then go to the houses, so that the man could watch TV, charge the phone and pick food in the refrigerators at night.

[ + 20 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102967
 18.09.2014
I’m all waiting for London to declare the Scottish referendum illegitimate and start bombing Edinburgh.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №102966
 18.09.2014
The logic of men,
Here the case was - I go, I don't touch anyone, a strange car with toned side glasses comes in from behind, stops parallel to me and alarms. Well, I naturally looked at the glass, like Lenin looked at the bourgeoisie, for I was unable to signal to unknown machines, and went on. The car repeats the manoeuvre. I don’t turn back, because at first glance I hoped to explain everything. At the third signal, the genius, who was driving, guessed to drop the glass. And the phrase... a brilliant dish - and someone we old acquaintances do not recognize? No, of course, it turned out to be a friend of mine, but BLAHAMUHA, what kind of, shitty, incomprehensible way should I have seen him in the toning?!?! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102965
 18.09.2014
The Roman kiss is when the golden teeth disappear.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102964
 18.09.2014
How to solve the problem of planetary overpopulation?

Ebola is coming, the order is set.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102963
 18.09.2014
The answer to Mailer’s question:

Tell a suitable textbook of American from 1 to any maximum possible class (only not English, that this textbook would be based on the American teaching system and there was no big ben and two-wheeled buses, and that it would be written by people with the mentality and approach of Americans and not British) can be done without translation into Russian.

The two-wheeled buses are cooler than all the cotte, odmin and shredder combined.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №102962
 18.09.2014
I sit with a friend at a restaurant and read the menu.

"We offer a complex salad "Smile" of fresh vegetables, on hemp oil, with the addition of hemp seeds", served in hot form.
This is what I understand, in one dish to eat and roast.)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102961
 18.09.2014
Wife shows her one-year-old daughter pictures with beasts from the internet:
M: Look at the giraffe. Utu-tu is Look at the dog. What a nice. This is a chicken...
D is Dad!
M: No, it’s not Dad, it’s a laugh.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №102960
 18.09.2014
I have a rare genetic disease.
YYY: Are you a fool?

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №102959
 18.09.2014
Boys and girls, a couple of memes!
So why do you behave against many children’s fathers, and then against repentant rapists? After all, the next entry will be:"I killed my mother because..."
Avoid such quotes. Give humor back to the resource.
They meet like admin and cat. They sit and think:"Where is the shredder?"
All are good!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102958
 18.09.2014
In a year, at least, I see myself as the head of the HR department to dismiss the young chickens who are trying to build themselves smart with the data questionnaires, and as a maximum I will still think about who I want to be in your office, fucking. 20 minutes later, she returns without a questionnaire, looks at the floor, apologizes and says that I’ve passed the test period and I can go to work tomorrow.

You were immediately taken to the post of a senior hammer, bypassing the intermediate stage of hammer?

They admire the stories of the chickens that are allegedly put in the place of other chickens. Tomorrow there will be an even more opposite chicken that will put you in place.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102957
 18.09.2014
From the Mail website. The Questions:

"Welcome to this site!

I bought a new iPhone 5B in the subway tent today so you can congratulate me - I'm like everyone now! I heard a new operating system came out to him, and I work as a programmer and I want to show the type I am cool and come to work with the new IOS 8) So now I have the Android operating system installed on my iPhone. How do I reinstall on IOS 8? The store said that the iPhone with Android is so fashionable now and all the young people use it, but I want to put the native operating system IOS. I downloaded the firmware from torrents and copied it to the iPhone flash drive, what should I do next?"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №102956
 18.09.2014
How to get a slim figure, eating bread and doing nothing? Read about this and much more in my new book "Nothing".

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №102955
 18.09.2014
I wake my wife to work early in the morning and ask her what she will have for breakfast. Listing what is, I get answers with a kick of my head. After 20 minutes of taking a shower and looking at the table, she says, “Taaak, what did I order today?”

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №102954
 18.09.2014
Never count on the "Speed" who never worked with "Speed" who never called.

In Murmansk, for instance, there are doctors with higher education who understand that it is impossible to make a diagnosis by phone. High temperature can mean common colds and cough, measles, diphtheria, as well as the recent West Nile fever that visited Russia; the head can get sick with the spleen, and maybe from a stroke; the stomach can reduce from yesterday’s salad and from appendicitis and ectopic pregnancy. They always come for a challenge. Of course, sometimes they are wrong, sometimes we are wrong, because this is life. But we know that our "white coats" are always flying to help us! Thanks to our doctors!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №102953
 18.09.2014
“I never drank before, and today I drank a liter of beer for the first time, and you know, I liked it.
Congratulations, you have so many discoveries and adventures ahead of you. Welcome to the magical world of female alcoholism.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №102952
 18.09.2014
I am studying literature for a screenwriter.
In my free time, I write stories and write them out.
Hello to everyone ;-)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102951
 18.09.2014
I see.

Don’t go fucking, right? If you are so poor,

It’s amazing how a second pair of socks changes a person.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №102950
 18.09.2014
XXX: Everything needs to be in your hands
yyy: and the corny))
xxx is?
XXX: What a shredder
Yyy: well to eat it if you’re hungry))

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna