All the performances of Zhirik remind me of the character from the Asimov trilogy The Foundations.

On a distant planet, where there is a threat of attack, a representative of the Emperor arrived to confirm the security guarantees. He stayed for three days, with everyone was polite, refined, flew away.

Scientists come to the local administrator and say:
We analyzed his speech from the point of view of formal logical analysis, removed everything that was not relevant to the matter. There is an empty text.

That is to say, he said nothing.

The boss gave me his box in the workshop under the tool, and I “seeded” the key. He gave me three today!! A kilogram of spare keys with the words "The fools are lucky. Reject it.” “Well, how is it?” From the first attempt the key was picked up :(

Did you notice that I finally shaved my daughter?
That’s what’s wrong with her...

My husband and I have been together for 11 years. I go to bed and wash my fresh hair.
Husband, asleep: How your hair smells! Like a new store...or as a ski rental point in the Alps!
Romance is 80 lb.

Dear Pedestrians!
I remind you that winter has come or is approaching, and the roads are slippery, and the nights are dark and long. In addition, car enthusiasts are idiots and do not look at pedestrian crossings.
Please take some time before moving and look at the road. Wear bright clothes at night, and ideally a light-reflecting vest. Do not move in inappropriate places.
Remember to! The drivers will sit and go out, and you will lie down and no longer get up.

Dear Drivers!
I remind you of the need to change the tyre and drive more carefully, for the same reasons. No one wants to be a killer, so drive more carefully, do not exceed and look side by side, especially on pedestrian crossings. Yes, and don’t drive drunk, for the sake of Kthulhu, LMM and everything you believe in.

From the comments to the news on the hubr:
255 terabits per second. New record of data transmission speed on one fiber.

Download the internet for free without SMS

to this:
--------
TTS: Saturday, weekend, the sun barely breaks through the curtains
TTS: on the window flower by the name Phytoelement
There are huge glasses next to the flower! Oh, and they are shooting at me!! to
TTS: I asked so much, my buttocks were so compressed that I thought the mattress would bite.
TTS: It turns out, SOVA is sitting on the window on the side of the street.
--------
She brought me a letter from Hogwarts.

When he wants sex, he runs to shoot the girl to the nearest club. Another thing is married. Waited until his wife fell asleep, and watched porn quietly, only quietly.

I go home one evening, suddenly a body grows in front of me and, swirling, looks into my face. "That’s all I think. Now the drunk will start. Heavily fragile lady alone in the metropolis at night". The body, meanwhile, continues to look at me, I already think of running, as he suddenly says:
And Anton?! to

Accused of receiving large bribery, the official Gorban daily, closing in his office, used drugs. According to the official, after the use of cocaine in his head came brilliant decisions. As in the UMVD, Gorban after taking the dose was usually in a good mood, what his subordinates - he signed them almost any documents.

Thespinningone: When I left the market today, I wanted fish. I had 200 rubles in my wallet. The seller said that he would not cut the fish anymore today, but there was a small piece on the shelf — and she offered me to hang it. It turned out to be 540 grams (I warned her in advance that I did not have enough money) - for 240 rubles. She says, OK, take a piece, bring the other 40 tomorrow.
I came home, started weighing this fish (to accurately calculate the proportions for the recipe) - it turned out to be 470 grams (the fish was not frozen, so it could not lose weight).
On the one hand, the importance is not so big. On the other hand, it’s still very unpleasant: I was hanged, and I still have to.
Take 40 rubles or go fighting?

gallon: 240 rubles / 540 g = 444.44(4) p / kg.
444.44 p/kg * 0.47 kg = 208.88(8) p.
So give 8 rubles 89 kopecks and ring.

here here :
Where can I get a salary of 40,000 rubles without education?
in Belarus

In Russia and without higher education there are many places where you can earn so much, and it is quite easy. Without a higher education diploma, it is much harder.
Believe me, these are very different things.

We sometimes arrange crafts at home - I give them stick plates, hammer, nails.
Today, the daughter (8 years old) made a pencil, the son (6 years old) - a large cross for the cross, and the other daughter (4 years old) - a rifle.
It is impossible to describe the character of these people more accurately.

So that yes. Who will tank?

How beautiful and amazing is the life of a sclerotic - once every half a year I try to get in the closet, find a half-piece, rejoice, unfold it, remembering that it has its edges cut off, twisted and put back.

Today the carrier entered the manager’s stupor with the phrase "You have two eyes, and I have one".

Sild: fucking, the survey "who are you most afraid of", the purpose of which was to decide on the halloween costume, showed that I should wear a hole condom=(

Why are the eyes red? was sick?
And connectivity...

(I was asked to break the first tooth-eight)

Sergey: So how are you?
And they didn’t break them out! He went in vain
Andrei: inspected, cut the gums, said that there is a strong inflammation, and you can not crack, otherwise the pus will pass onto the wound and into the epidermis. They said to rinse a bunch once a day, and on Saturday they will break out.
Andrei: I persuaded her, she is a nifiga, she says, you don’t want flux and blood contamination.
Sergey: herrrrrrrrrrrrasse
Andrei is out. I now imagine what the virgin is experiencing when the guy doesn’t get up, and he says, “Let’s try again on Saturday.”

Conversation of two PC repair masters on the call:
Give me a satellite.
How much Satan?
Totally satirical!

Read the article "1001 ideas what to do at home"
Chapter 9: Go to the Park
Chapter 14: Playing Bowling
Chapter 27: Go for a walk.