bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №102049
 24.08.2014
Memories of Childhood
my aunt (mother's sister, younger than her age by 10) obviously didn't like when we - her nephews visited her mother (our grandmother).
She drew us to the kitchen and definitely cleaned and cut the onion, hoping that we would walk out on the street (we listened to her phone call).

Now we have grown up and when our elderly aunt comes to visit, we always cook her dishes with plenty of onions.

Love the children

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102048
 24.08.2014
The Neanderthals:

Sometimes I get rid of my tribe.
She’s only 5 years old, what to say about her.
Well, I tell her, Alina, this toy was made when the cabbage in the cabbage didn’t bring you.
He sits and declares. Cabbage is Mom, and the cabbage is Dad?? to
So, how can we not fool such children?

The fucking. A normal child with normal parents. I knew all my life that children were born by mothers, for me it was quite normal, calmly presented and therefore not a very interesting fact. Then I bought a previously inspected book on the matter. Why undermine his authority in a child with a sincere lie, for the naive exposition of which to other children he will be hardly mocked?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №102047
 24.08.2014
XXX is Hi! What can I help?
You are whispering.
XXX: Sorry what?
YYY: I need you a whistle can you do me?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102046
 24.08.2014
Studying 6 years in honey, a year in internship and asking the nurse? And why not, if the nurse is there, and she is experienced and skilled? Better to ask again. Of course, if she was a young blonde, I’t consult her. I would then open the book. Yes, by the way, very many doctors underestimate the knowledge and experience of nurses, because they often work without them. A good nurse is pure gold. And it will help, and write, and coffee will pour, if a good relationship...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102045
 24.08.2014
From the forum, the topic of gifts to teachers

and TTT:
Maybe not in the topic here, but I can’t hold on... There was a time, at the journal of the MGU, such a Kurdyum taught ancient and medieval literature. It was a legendary grandmother: still alive! A very difficult and tough person, to whom to surrender even simply on account was oh how not easy! She knew her affair magnificently and treated it as a sanctuary, which all kinds of dark lazy people will hurt even with their mention. In general, a day or two before the counting in the community brain attack: how? How, because without prepared searches it is impossible at all? And they came up: go to the "Children's World", bought there a healthy plastic horse on wheels, empty under a thin shell (for the whole group - coins for each one!In common with a shave, they carefully cut a rectangular hole in his belly, but only from three sides, so that the fourth would bend away, and put their knots in the belly. In the morning, all together went to her in the classroom, placed a horse on the table before her, dropped the door and poured notes from his belly on the table. You have understood, no? The Trojan Horse!! to
She was tired of pleasure, could not withstand. Oh, thank you, guys: the old lady was so excited! " And I didn’t even ask anyone: I immediately set the account for everyone!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102044
 24.08.2014
Xxx is:
I always hated September 1st.
YYYY :
Not yet grown up. The majority of the population hates April 1.
and Zzz:
I’m not that hateful, but I’m feeling a bit anxious before January 1.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №102043
 24.08.2014
Bro is! I don't want to upset you, but every time I want to scratch my nose sitting in the hairdresser's chair, I pull out my hand from underneath the balakhon and scratch my nose.
— — —
What a shame! )

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102042
 23.08.2014
The murderer of Lennon for the eighth time refused conditional release

Take your lifetime, and then we will see.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102041
 23.08.2014
In the material "In Siberia, a drunk driver was riding on a stolen car bomb and goose" it was erroneously stated that the incident occurred in the Urals. In fact, the Kemerovo region is located in the southeast of Western Siberia.

Lenta.ru apologizes to its readers

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102040
 23.08.2014
Conversation between (m)atri, (d)cheri 7 years old, and a young son:

M: son, stop hanging in the pants, or you will not be taken to the kindergarten, and you will sit at home, like an old grandfather on retirement.
D: Did you understand? You’ll be fucking retired.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102039
 23.08.2014
Friend (P) is a divorced photographer-introvert.
(P) Lammur-tuzhur, charme and other flirting is difficult to get out of me. Probably I am single.

Well, if you had married for a long time, you’re positive, without a w/p and with a h/y!

(P) I am bored, on such a characteristic trait how bad defks are conducted. And where to get them?
But... How do you think, can you try to go to Stas Mikhailov’s concert?

There will be unconditional goods.
No, it’s too early for sex.

(P) and ?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №102038
 23.08.2014
Moralists and vice versa. Why not try to find the golden middle in matters of physiological education? The body is given to us by nature as it is.
their own needs. But the idea of how it should be begins with parents. If mom and dad don’t be ashamed to kiss their kids instead of scandalously beating each other’s cheeks, what could be more than love? And I mean kissing, not kicking each other around.
If teenagers at the right time learn what pollution and menstruation are from their parents, and are not tormented by this question themselves, and parents are wise enough not to oppress children for onanism and not to give them medieval theories on this subject, then there will be no unnecessary complexes. But putting your breasts on the internet or copying the behavior of the poor from "House..." – you understand.
Can we start at least from this?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102037
 23.08.2014
Korean: I am not dancing.
I have convulsions.
Rapida: this is called "abstep"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №102036
 23.08.2014
We talked with the girl about food, we talked about soups. She deliberately says, “Do you know of any Jewish soup?” Except for water.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №102035
 23.08.2014
I want to crack and cry. Such a game, such a hope. I remember with tremors the first and as I played the second with Matti. What is a camel shit? The development of the path to the exit ordered this clearly!

The Escape! Mlyn
= is
Is that what surprised you?
And what does he "will" do?
And "will" he "break and cry"?
And for all this thing "developers" the way to... khm... ordered? Chel clearly does not enter the meaning of the expression "The way is ordered"...
It seems, along with the "grammar-nazi", it is time to introduce other categories - some "Style-gestapo", for example. I\or "Punktuation and folklore"...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №102034
 23.08.2014
Review of Sennheiser HD 25-1-II

Advantages: Light, very good sound insulation, good sound.
Disadvantages: They resemble the standard headphones from the army radio station.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №102033
 23.08.2014
I will share the secret of fishing. Take a mechanical alarm and hammer on a long handle. Come out at noon and make a wake-up call. The fish goes out to see what happened and at this moment it has to be stifled with a hammer.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №102032
 23.08.2014
The Deputy:
Don’t talk about the sea in Belarus!
It’s a network joke that was quoted on the First Channel (even saying it’s a joke!) is
– – – – –
No, my dear, it won’t be so. It is easy to prove that someone has done or said something. But to prove that someone did not say this is much harder. And if the people believed it all, write is gone. No matter how much evidence you gather, everybody will think that Galileo said his famous words before the Inquisitioners, Saleri poisoned Mozart, and Psaki said about the sea in Belarus.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №102031
 23.08.2014
I went to work in the night shift for the first time after a short vacation. In the morning, my colleague heartily congratulated me on the wedding with a modest present. While I was driving home, I was glad that in some centuries I took from work something other than depression and hellish lack of sleep.
The first question of my husband, with a disbelief looking at how pleased I get out of my bag a bottle of wine and a pack of candy:
Were you really at work?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №102030
 23.08.2014
You will call the couch to repair, so you are fools to repair it and come.

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