bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №99128
 12.06.2014
to this:
"Chinese makes me crazy, you can’t do so much. In the evening I listened to the twist of two dogs, highlighted 5 tones, a dozen stable slogans...Nobody will convince me now that they whispered, and didn’t talk, and polite and friendly!

Oh yes, the unknown collector of reason! How I understand you! I have studied Chinese for almost 9 years. Sometimes, when I think of the English word "young" - "young", I hang for a minute in reflection, and whether in the correct tone my inner voice has pronounced it and what hieroglyph it is recorded.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99127
 12.06.2014
I will explain:
They say that we cannot solve the question - what a woman wants. What does a man want? Then you know that the girls are not normal, "where are you the only one", friendsonite and bla-bla-bla... Here are others picking up that "smart, so you did not get married", "marriage is the main mistake" and bla-bla-bla... You just like to pine, and the presence/absence of a couple is just one way? Or is there a deeper reason?
------------
The deeper reason is as follows:

Socrates once told me to marry. If you have a good wife, you will be happy. If you are bad, you will become a philosopher. I don’t know what’s better"
(C) x/f "The same Munchausen"

Not everyone is ready to become a philosopher, while they intend to be happy. Which pill do you choose, Neo?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №99126
 12.06.2014
Ariane: I was asked on Twitter about the diploma thesis. I couldn’t write: it’s a topic, more than 140 characters. Twitter is not a place for scientific discussions.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №99125
 12.06.2014
Not to sell, but to give free in special state centers. The seller is interested in increasing the sales market, and the society has nothing to do. And so let them register, do simple social work and receive food, bed, medical care and dosage.

_______
You’ve recently watched Route 60, right?

[ + 23 - ] [8 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99124
 12.06.2014
Today, the parents of one student called me to solve a very serious problem. For a whole year, their child sat at the computer, studied lessons poorly, earned scaliosis, gastritis and caught twins for the school year. The fault was, in their opinion, the computer. I was asked as a programming expert to help with this. The fact is that the child understands a little in the computer, but other than playing nothing wants. In front of me was the task of making it impossible to play at the computer, but to leave its other functions so that the child learns.



When I arrived, I saw the standard picture, the computer of a 13-year-old teenager, in 0 wiped WASD letters, a desk wrapped with labels. Yes, it was he, the brother of the server administrator you are playing on, a cool hacker and master of computing on the iPad.



After thinking, I found a solution that completely satisfied my parents and liked my father, who had a good understanding of computers in the past.



Here, three hours of adjustment, I did not work much and something had to learn and me, but everything works: office applications work, the printer prints on their orders, images, music, movies remain in order to open and play. I showed how to work, nothing else complicated, little has changed. Parents familiarized with the work and learned remained satisfied, although noted that some things will have to get used to.



Now a school boy with his grandmother, when he comes home he is waiting for a surprise, fresh Linux

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99123
 12.06.2014
Alex: From tomorrow, people who are indifferent to football will start a new life. Life without TV.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99122
 12.06.2014
About this:
Discuss the news about the German prototype of the thought-driven aircraft:

>> is very dangerous to me. You control one, and here a woman passed by, and you have thoughts right away. Take the plane out of the tunnel.
------------
If, when I drive an airplane in the air, someone passes by next to it, then I will have to be made to feel regardless of the type of control on the airplane.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №99121
 12.06.2014
xhh: "I’m out of the cheek" – is this the norm at all? Do they know what they are writing?
It’s like cuddling a chicken, just cuddling a chicken.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99120
 12.06.2014
Commentary on Ticket:
irregular falls eliminated
Falls are regular.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №99119
 12.06.2014
All people are brothers, but I like their sisters.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №99118
 12.06.2014
I live on the fourth floor, a soap window, grassy lawn under the windows and very soft soil. Falling out, in general. While flying, I did not understand anything, I did not see pictures of life.
To her own and general surprise, landing, she stood up, shrugged, tasty and got up home.
The husband who opened the door (he, by the way, fixed the door lock) ran out on me, asking me a hundred times how I passed by him...
In short, the summary: I have a scratch of my back, a couple of scratches and bleaches. The husband has a deep fainting, gray hair, nervous breakdown, tachycardia and a week in the hospital.
Guess who wears the oranges to the hospital?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99117
 12.06.2014
In the beauty salon:
“I asked you to pull out my eyebrows so that the look would be a little surprised, not shaken!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №99116
 12.06.2014
Don’t think of it as advertising, just a game of words. There is such a company "Roda" in our city, dealing, including, and furniture. Calls, therefore, the driver of Vasya from the delivery to customers and says: "In 10 minutes wait. The kitchen is underway." the ones to him: "The home phone does not work, let's go down, we meet you" They are not in a hurry, and get into the bustle of the improvised neighborhood rally, whether they find out who is in the elevator, whether the flowers are going to plant. Our heroes also did not stay aside and engaged actively in the discussion, and as the kitchen came, did not notice. Vassya approached, waving the billboard, to the entrance and asked the whole crowd, "Who of you ordered the kitchen at RODY?"" The discussion disappeared immediately, and only a thin voice from the crowd: "This, it seems, we've added a little meaning to this silent scene. But unresolved questions and seizures at the entire entrance, however, remained. The rally of the wretches dissolved unnoticedly, which, in principle, only facilitated the rise of the kitchen.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №99115
 12.06.2014
to this:
-----------
We sit with a friend in the park, we don’t touch anyone drinking beer. A grandmother passes by with a dog, the dog sees us - and right up to us.
“Musa, don’t lie down with the boys, they drink and don’t snack.
and...
The old lady meant that since you don’t eat anything, you don’t have anything to feed the dog, so you shouldn’t care about it. Your K.O.

[ + 4 - ] Comment quote №99114
 12.06.2014
C/Lurkmore
“The faith of Mikhailov.” This was the name of my classy manager, who said that kissing in the entrance is like having bread over the toilet. I even fucked up in the entrance one day—what she would say about it I don’t even know. She was a aunt.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №99113
 12.06.2014
xxx: Fuck, rides the ML 63 Ukrainian numbers and the frame of the number "MVD of Russia"
XXX: And the car behind the wheel, lipstick
Could it be Janet’s car? Who is from his surroundings?(They are :
ZZZ: I jumped...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99112
 12.06.2014
In the evening, I go to work through the park. On the sidewalk runs, on a long leash, a small dog walking a bug (well I can’t say otherwise). Rain has passed, a joyful puppy climbs to everyone to play with the nerds to wipe their wet legs. Someone is glittering, somebody is blasphemous, the grandmother blasphemous... and I pretend to go to the side so that the light pants are not washed again and the eleven-meter seamless is not pierced. Here the dog runs to the couple, looking like schoolchildren from the back, and the guy gives:
The FFUU!by 111
What the lungs, the throat, the voicelings and how they fit in such a whirlwind I can't imagine, but the sewing whispered and ran to the grandmother, after whispering literally ALL on the alley.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №99111
 12.06.2014
Cms from a pregnant girlfriend:
We do not want to come out to the light of God. Doctors will not do anything until Monday. Uzi was done: long legs were added to the big head. We are beautiful! I lie under a dropper, eat unflavored soup and dream of freedom. Children are not released from here. I will have to delay.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №99110
 12.06.2014
I went home in the woods (yes, there was also a forest near my house). On the back a backpack with a tent and a carpet attached to it on the sides. Carpet and shelf for a gray tent. It already drowned. A man’s voice from the bushes: “Oh, girl, I thought you had wings!”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99109
 12.06.2014
Nisha: Vanja, hello to you. I have a computer here.
Ask me for anything you want!
I will reject you in anything.

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