bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98888
 06.06.2014
Difficulties in relationships arise when a woman is unable to acknowledge the fact that her contribution to her husband's failure is no less than to success.

Dmitry Naumenko

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №98887
 06.06.2014
It turns out to be such a cool thing - to put instructions from any household appliances in the toilet!

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98886
 06.06.2014
This (This )

"Hey, yes, schoolchildren are soldiers in wartime."

The EGE is not given at 8 years, but at 16, imho, it is time to learn to cope with stress, especially since there are metal detectors and cameras, not automatic machines. How will these kids get to work in a few years??? There, after all, strangers will ask different questions, you will need to answer verbally, etc.
I am sorry, it is overwhelming.

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98885
 06.06.2014
I have a whore living outside my window, which is dragging because it is screaming loudly on the whole base... this bird has already screwed all the brains... so he sits on a warm concrete plate and starts screaming... he hears how loud it is (because some echo is still there), pleasures and continues to crack... soon I will stop loving birds.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №98884
 06.06.2014
Sometimes there’s the idea that girls think that when they say ‘sorry’ they’re somewhere in the toolbar of life, the ‘undo’ button is pressed and everything they’ve put together is shit! and is cancelled.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98883
 06.06.2014
to this:
-----------
Yatsenyuk: We understand that the price is $ 268. The United States was nothing but a bribe of the previous power. However, we consider this price a market price and insist onining that price.

How is? How can two mutually exclusive thoughts be placed in one head? Is it a bribe or a market price?? to
-----------

What is incomprehensible. This is the market price of the bribe, the person receiving it agrees with it and offers to continue the practice.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №98882
 06.06.2014
On the weekend, I was with my husband at the corporate of his firm (well, not quite corporate, so, a trip to the city with shells). And they have one manager there - a sales champion. In terms of sales, it is very different from the rest. And about her ways of selling these legends go. I heard another. One girl went to the toilet, and hears a loud voice of this lady from the cabin, clearly on the phone: "Yes, or you are buying goods from us right now, or I am going to the church, I will put a candle, and you will never get up!" - and loudly washes the water, putting a point in the conversation. The storyteller thoughtfully finished this story - "And what do you think? The money was transferred in half an hour!"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №98881
 06.06.2014
Today I go to work in the subway, a man enters the car and starts selling a figure scissor for cutting vegetables. especially insists that, say, dear hostesses - now you can easily cut salads and children and yourself, carrots, apples, cabbage, chips even yourself without flavourings, as said all this will be useful for your family and children. Cut the carrot and so on.
There is a mom around me with two or four years of age. The girl stopped asking for drink and roaring, and listened to all this panigyric of fresh vegetables, opening her mouth.
The man ends up and goes to another car.
The girl resolutely:
“This uncle... everything he said... I don’t like it!

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №98880
 06.06.2014
It was told as nonsense, but still...My boyfriend was practicing in a children’s hospital. There was a one-year-old child with a fracture of the base of the skull, very heavy, he fell from a pot on a thick carpet.

I also practiced in a children’s hospital. The Psychologist. So, 80% of all “fall from a pot, broke a leg in three places.” Doctors for the most part kick their heads and do not go further, because otherwise they will be forced to report to the police (then the police), social protection, and so on, and they need it? And if the child is already more or less speaking, in the conversation it turns out that the father knocked the drunk, or the mother was angry at the spilled soup and pushed, and all in that spirit. No, Daddy is not an eternally drunk guard, but a "meyeeeenager", just a bad day and even a couple of liters of beer didn't help. And the mother - not flying on a young fool, interrupting on a scant wage of a cleaner, and a "office worker" with a higher education, just very tired of the child's caprices.
And there was also a five-year-old girl, who lost her fingers on one hand due to her father's neglect - broke the iron door of the entrance. Father, by the way, after this left the family and completely eliminated himself from the daughter's life - "I can't see the suffering of the child!"
Pay attention to the children, short. Stretch your brain, remember yourself in childhood and throw in what amounts and in what form. and all. The solution to most problems begins with the action "Enter the brain". A lot of people miss it...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №98879
 06.06.2014
What is your urgent job? Has done already?
I’m sitting and I’ve been putting a stake on the customers for an hour... and I feel with my spinal cord that their patience is running out, and they are about to kill me.)
But they are so comfortable on them...

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98878
 06.06.2014
Original from the page of one girl:
I hate the fools who brain e@ut, and then as if nothing was gone, and that my cockroaches suffer compensation to pay no need!??? I need the elements!!! to

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №98877
 06.06.2014
For love, you want a decent woman, for sex, you want a disorderly woman.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №98876
 06.06.2014
The court in a civil case, the buyer of a new apartment (claimant, I) claims that the builders did not complete the work. The construction company swears and fears that the work was done and, as proof, leads the judge (C) to the meeting of the living brigadier (B), who allegedly performed the work.
Q: Brigadier, did you do the work?
B: Yes I did it.
Q: Was it done correctly?
B: Yes, for sure
C: When was it performed?
B: 3 April
Who gave you the keys to your apartment?
B: Construction company
Q: How could they give you the keys if the apartment was handed over to a customer with a full set of keys on February 1?
B: I was given the keys.
Q: Did you give the keys to the brigadier?
No, I didn’t, I see him for the first time.
Q: So you were in the plaintiff’s apartment on April 3 and did work?
B is yes.
Q: So you illegally entered the residential area. Criminal proceedings must be initiated.
B: I didn’t do the job. I did not enter anywhere. I see them all for the first time.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98875
 06.06.2014
Could you explain to your children that television channels were switched by flatwaters before?

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98874
 06.06.2014
X: Once we talked about diletantism. Someday I came to the department. He went to the laboratory of geoinformatics and digital cartography and asked where the 2nd hospital is located and how to get to it.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №98873
 06.06.2014
I stopped visiting sites for polio mothers during pregnancy. Learned to disconnect when each encounter gave the smartest advice on caring for and raising a child. You are still here now :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №98872
 06.06.2014
and Chamie:
I’m tired of explaining how I need to be cut.
As if I know myself!
Who is the barber, I or the barber?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №98871
 06.06.2014
I feel badly
The content management system does not work.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №98870
 06.06.2014
From the quote:

"A paper on the activities of sex-democrats at the end of the 19th century in Russia."

Sex Democrats are five.

I worship*

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №98869
 06.06.2014
by POCU:

Thank you to the police who for 500 rubles reminded me that now you can not smoke in the transition.

You can’t smoke for 10 years, no?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna