bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №97108
 23.04.2014
I decided to be a good German. He stopped at the parking lot and even paid 1? for the entrance. I sit, I enjoy life, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here, I am here. Over the laundry machine there are hand wipes.. hard.. but my ass is still not so tolerated.. And here comes the main p&zd#c.. I touched the button in the dark.. and in full confidence that it was a water pouch with a fist with all дури kaaaaaak %bnul from anger..
and #57629;
But my karma revenged me... It turned out to be be... And the stream of cold water made me understand why there is no toilet paper... And the people who came to the screams explained that there is a timer for light in the toilets for 10 minutes. and #58390;

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №97107
 23.04.2014
I sit, I do drawings, I need to offer the client 3 planning options. I started signing, missed the button and wrote "Variant 1"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №97106
 23.04.2014
It is bad to have a higher education without having a primary.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97105
 23.04.2014
“If your casual interlocutor in a route taxi, on the market, or in another public place expresses his negative attitude towards Ukraine, spreads information that Russia lives better than Ukraine and in every way provokes you to agree that Ukraine does not exist, it is long time to share it between neighboring states, know – this person is a violator, a provocator and a separatist. Such facts, without delay, should be to the police.”

The prize is 1000 Reichsmarks and a cow.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №97104
 23.04.2014
Call a acquaintance. Hearing is great! But, she has 3 wave-shaped paparazzi, and they are all wreaths! I have 4! Scary in the sense. And they, listening to their friends, also begin to shout! We start speaking louder, but the poppies have the instinct to overthrow everything! The fucking fool! To talk, I had to shut up in the toilet, and my friend’s cell phone was charging.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №97103
 23.04.2014
A friend passed the commission in the hospital.
I can’t find my office! On the first floor 20 the last and on the second 22 the first, and I need the fuck 21...
He’s going to Narnia...so look for an old robbed closet!
I found shit! Without a sign...sucks.
I was crying.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97102
 23.04.2014
Open the news portal.
The server from requests blows and dusts, the site goes down and doesn’t get up.

We get up, we dance with the drums, we watch. There are no signs of life.

A thoughtful voice from the gallery:
– You lack manna to open the portal.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97101
 23.04.2014
Gmail and Skype threaten to be banned in Russia Other email and IM services
— — —
Well, and who, fucking, missed me when I predicted the internet on the cards issued by the FSB? You do not have your own prophets; listen to others.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №97100
 23.04.2014
At the U.S. figure skating championship, the first place was awarded to a couple of Negro-gay men who had sex on the ice.
The judge, who told them to wear more bowls, was condemned as a homophobe.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97099
 23.04.2014
XXX is Oh! ... →
YYY: I am sure that this is the word that will start the Third World War.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №97098
 23.04.2014
I come to work by bicycle, and during the night shifts I take him to our office. One day he broke the camera and started repairing it right in the office. Since there was no solvent, he wiped the chamber with alcohol before sticking and accidentally poured half a bottle onto the carpet. Alcohol the next day dried and left behind a dark trace of a clean piece of carpet, similar to a stain. A week later, the cleaner tried to wash the "spray", resulting in it increasing in size. I look forward to further developments.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №97097
 23.04.2014
The lamp does not burn.
The calendar is false.
If you have long been in your home,
Take it away!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97096
 23.04.2014
We need a clever shortcut.
Collected in Mordor.
No Tyrion, you are not fit.
Film and book for children.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97095
 23.04.2014
The conversation of a woman in the years (village) and a young man who came to his girlfriend with his parents to meet in one of the villages of Kirov Oblast.
Where will you be from yourself?
and Moscow.
Have you thought about getting married to Tanaka?
and yes. I want to buy a house and move here.
WOW to you!!??? We went there! Russia is not you!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №97094
 23.04.2014
Go to the dentist. Lieing in a chair to reassure, he tried to imagine a summer lawn, before his eyes were painted Windustic hills.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97093
 23.04.2014
Do you want to support this crazy system? If not, borrow from friends and lend them without interest, and never take loans.

– – – – –

Let me explain on my fingers:
1st Not everyone has friends who can give 500t-5lams per car-apartment for a period of 3-10 years without interest :)
I think there is nothing to explain.
2nd Will you write contracts with friends? You gave a friend a few thousand before the salary, and then you hear "breakfast".
You were given money for a month, and in a week they are required back.

You can continue indefinitely.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №97092
 23.04.2014
Protection of 1. My daughter has a monthly cat. The San-Tech doors are now open, because the pot is sorted, and reminders are hanging everywhere.
My MCH, coming from the sorting: why was this door there closed?
If the bathroom door is open, that is not a problem.
Emm... in the sense?? to
I (without any back-thinking): so what... there is a hole between the sorting room and the bathroom, the child walks freely.
MCH: (pause mines on 5, nothing predicted) su-u-u-uki!! I almost went crazy!!! to
I (hoping in front of the compound half a meter from the scream): 0_0 eye.. Please clarify!!? to
*** by
History of MCH (in short!I get out of the bathroom after an hour of soaking... a small kitten sits on the carpet, looks at me, says MYAV and goes under the bath. I look, there is no cat. I go out of the bathroom, the cat sits on the doorstep, looks at me, says MIAV and goes past me under the bathroom. I look, there is no cat. I go to the kitchen to tell your daughter that the cat is somewhere under the bathroom. in the corridor the cat sits, looks at me, says MYAV and goes past me further under the bathroom... I didn’t get to the kitchen, in half an hour I smoked half a pack and here 3 days I go think that it’s time for me to go to the psychiatrist – to Korneyeva, to the hospital. Thou shalt go! Why are you stupid, stupid???! to

And I was really like that cat only I was able to say... %)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №97091
 23.04.2014
Impressions of Easter spent with a friend in the village:
A local father is just something. His speech after the service made my day. Among the complaints that all kinds of people have gone there and spread the infection, that no one on earth wants to work, and the women only do what they love in the mirror, was the phrase:
I saw a girl in high heels. So these heels on the back are inserted flashing lights, and why are the heels not pleased with you?! to

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №97090
 23.04.2014
I decided that I would watch "Game of Thrones" just two with a girl.
I’ll never know what this series is about.

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №97089
 23.04.2014
The Motorcycle Forum:
yyy:...because 40 percent foolishly ignores the use of twists, for example.
xxx: Do you, I hope, turn on the bike every time you rebuild?
YYY: You won’t believe, even in the courts I include.
XXX: Do you wear a nymph under the helmet or under it?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna