bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 16 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96307
 06.04.2014
On the comp is playing "Spring from the Rock".
The daughter approached to read the title of the composition: "And why is the King and the joke written here?"
I: "The King and the Joker is the name of the band, I like it very much. Unfortunately, their soloist has already died".
Girl: "Hopped out of the rock?"

I am sorry, Gorky. and :(

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №96306
 06.04.2014
Challenges for School Programming Circle:
xxx> generator of random words from scripting (children really like the result)
yyy>And not only children, especially if as a base to set a dictionary of valuable vocabulary)
yyy>I have so a generator based on a genetic algorithm generated the insult “Walat-Taratat!”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №96305
 05.04.2014
Watching movies on the STC and drinking a drink during advertising can not watch the movie

[ + 37 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96304
 05.04.2014
The throwing
As strange as it may be, on the emblem of Rurikovich there is a triple tooth, the present Ukrainian symbol, and on the emblem of the Mongol-Tatar two-headed eagle, the present Russian symbol.
I think comments are superfluous.
The two-headed eagle is the Byzantine emblem that we pressed for ourselves. And the Mongolian Tatars never had a herb.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №96303
 05.04.2014
News on the website:
Microsoft has awarded a five-year-old child for finding a vulnerability in Xbox Live.

In the comments I read:
xxx: "I in my 14 two years ago hacked the credo v18 station and got nothing but puzzles from bathi for touching the soldering station"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №96302
 05.04.2014
Give me reverans, you will not be filled with them, and you will be filled with dishonest pelletry. I also agree with the provocatively washed floor, the insultingly cooked dinner, and the insultingly cleaned shoes.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96301
 05.04.2014
One company went bankrupt, and we "absorbed" it. Now its employees are shaking up on managerial positions and sabotaging the work of our established enterprise. Question: How can shit command the brain?? to

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №96300
 05.04.2014
In Saratov, a man raped a neighbor for noise at night.

xxx: Presented the painting, 10 years passed, the person turns on the perforator, there is a bell at the door, on the threshold the same neighbor:
I knew you liked it!

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №96299
 05.04.2014
How does a crown look like a desk? This is obvious; they are both feathers!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №96298
 05.04.2014
Pick_Lady: Left the forum page open, went to the toilet. I go back, I see, Dad is sitting behind the notebook, with his eyes opened, reading the forum, then indignantly: “I accidentally watched here what you are reading. Why do you read these perverse people? Especially this, "The Top Lady". Look what she writes here! Where are your parents looking at? Really...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96297
 05.04.2014
A small introduction - O. temporarily works in a small town of Uzlovaya, we communicate on Skype.
I forgot to tell you a joke. Today at work, an employee gives TsU to her husband what to take for her daughter at the nursery: take cowards, the same as hanging on a luster, but not red, but black.
N: O_O
A: The day-to-day mention of the cowards on the luster somewhat surprised me, after the end of her conversation I ask – what is it all about?
H: And what, did Simon read?
A: She says they have all their acquaintances, a daughter, and so on. For several years, red women's trousers have been hanging to attract money. Some acquaintances somehow removed it, but then with the money got worse, hanged back. And her daughter's luster is expensive, but the cowards also hang.
N: Oh, this nodule... what unexpected things are there.
A: The employee said she once bought new red pants at fixed price, but her husband said they didn’t smell anything, had to remove them from the luster and wear them (rofl)
N: The mind does not understand Russia.
Q: Does it depend on the size? Is it better to hang strings or a bigger coward? (rofl) For example, the men’s chelabian...
A: No, she says – only women work.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №96296
 05.04.2014
Android for the poor, iOS for the rich
The discussion:

The Android operating system is similar to the Tula left-handed, unwashed, eternally drunk, but able to do absolutely anything.
The iOS operating system is similar to the guardian of the harem – strong, beautiful, cared for, reliable, caring and castrated.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №96295
 05.04.2014
I am currently in Hurghada (Egypt). There is a 1st channel here, but it shows for Germany. Advertising pauses advertise German goods and services respectively. Enjoyed advertisement: Only a few days in May with touring through Germany group "Hands Up"!! to
You are all in the Estonian...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №96294
 05.04.2014
My mother told me. He lives in Petroleum. The North. The Winter. The colds are such that one of the neighboring pharmacies was released around the houses for a while, as the building where they were located was insulated not in the best way: in the room -5, and in their refrigerator +3.

[ + 34 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96293
 05.04.2014
I watched the movie "Gangster". There, drugs from Thailand were carried by U.S. Air Force aircraft, in graves with bodies of killed soldiers. Added to zinc.
Well, and the police, according to the time guessed and found. To what my wife said, “These idiots are the smugglers. It is easier to use the bodies and get drugs in them. Who will see the bodies?
Teaching English to Children...

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96292
 05.04.2014
Their eyes will run out! A school that knows Russian in the volume of a dictionary for beginners foreigners! Read them a lively great Russian language:

The water climb is called bodlon. The shoulder, the shoulder
Don’t even talk about Tuesday? A large spider is a spider.
Take a shirt and squeeze my back!
The egg broke again.

Daria is
It hurt me physically to read it.
My eyes are now out"
— — —
“It’s rejuvenating,” said the boiler and pointed a knot into the cloudy sky.
The young lieutenant Dahl better wrapped in a thistle, got a notebook
and recorded:
"It freezes – it freezes quickly"
Thus was born the first Russian interpretative dictionary of V. Dal
“It’s rejuvenating,” repeated the boiler, “I’d like to get there until evening, balin.
No-o is
Ambassador of Malta!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96291
 05.04.2014
Colleague Sisadmin forges the keyboard, cleaning off coffee and crumbs. Suddenly the key H.Admin goes back and forth: a-a-a, how will I be without X!!?? How do I communicate with the users?! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96290
 05.04.2014
Yesterday we watched a strange video: a train is going, military equipment stands on open platforms (I determined that it is not ours) and then suddenly a platform with roadsides appears.
I: It is they who are going to fight with Russia, they have specially prepared roads, they are going to repair roads.
He: Yes... For hundreds of years we did not do them to stop the enemy’s aggression.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №96289
 05.04.2014
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh How can you be friends with Pidaras? They’re fucking fucking, they’re fucking fucking, they’re fucking fucking!! to
WOU: Lena, shortly, you have struck me with your sweat!! As I’ve known you for a long time, I’ll be honest, even if it’s rough. Next time before I write such a shit.
1st Always throw the shit out of your mouth or your ass, I don’t know where it will be there at that moment. Your anal orals are no less "abnormal" - and from the point of view of anatomy, and so on. Ideally, everyone should have sex purely in a mandu and purely for reproduction. Thus e. 1 to 10 times in a lifetime. In marriage, not 1/2 of the city. Contrary to her...
2nd After the previous actions, look around and count the number of pidoras among your "100% no heterogeneous environment". Try to turn your brain on. It will be difficult.

Unlike you, I’m not friends with pidos, I’m friends with people, people, fuck!!! A gay, lesbian or natural for me is monopensual. I cannot be fucking wherever (including the brain) and with whom (including TV, LGBT and RPC) I do not want to, and in the opinion of the surrounding society, I have been cheering since childhood. What I wish for you.)
WOW: Stop looking into someone else’s lock wells – one day they’ll look into yours... in short, go to the fox. In other words, to psychoanalysis.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №96288
 05.04.2014
The pleasure of iris is potentially the most expensive of the pleasures of sweets.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna