In Kazakhstan, it is forbidden to sell circular trousers!
y: I imagine the situation: you take off the girl's pants, and she has family members on her knees.)))

I have a friend who is an electrician. And so he thought of how to assemble his "Planchette". It consisted of parts of the LCD monitor, there was a netbook charge and several batteries. Instead of the mouse, a touchpad and a screen keyboard to enter text. My assurances in the need for the keyboard he ignored and here one time downloading a program it jumped out of him in the entire screen without the possibility of closing, after rebooting the desktop appeared for a second and then this program appeared again. But my friend did not discourage - after removing the cooling he heated the charge with a dryer so that the computer started to brake properly and while the program was loaded from the auto-start line he had time to remove it.

and Matan. First class after the holidays. The student at the board long thought about what to do with the integral.
Prepod pronounces :"I offer..."
A loud voice from the audience reflectively "Toast!"
The bed)

We open http://translate.google.com we enter:.............. we press “Listen”. Other lovely melodies:

1) 1112..$$$..$$$..$$$$..£44..$$$..$$$..$$$$..£44.

O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O

Ror Ror Ror Ror Ror Ror Ror



Make your song!

When I don't see anyone, nobody sees me - normal thoughts for a man with cowards on his head

From Habr:

I fear that humanity is evolving on the example of alcoholic bacteria: to eat all the sugar out of the bowl, to sweat everything around it with alcohol, and to suck up the entire population. But unlike those bacteria, humanity has no neighboring bank for divorce.

xxx: fucking, from the morning of the neighboring office wild female screams, as if someone is being killed
XHHH: It turned out, only forever broadcasting curling

xxx: immediately remembers the former, when when I met I tried to drink her, and she me. the result 2 is inadequate at the end of the evening))))))

Improvement of emergency services by introducing paid calls.
I have a friend - an ambulance doctor, so here she told me about her calls, and one of the " funny":
Coming to the family husband and wife (aged 30 years) pregnant with normal stomach already. The husband complains that the eggs hurt, he naturally the first question: "When was the last time?" - "how did they know that she was pregnant", well, accordingly he and indicated the ways of treatment: wife or hand. He: "My mother told me that it was bad, I will not, and my wife is not so educated." - "Now what do you want from the ambulance?" - "Now do something, I am sick!"
So, as long as such idiots, even if 100% law-obedient will spend time on the ambulance, considering them actually prostitutes, you will not have the ambulance to come.

From Habr, from the comments under the article on how marketers cheat buyers:

Hey, and I remembered the old joke, how my colleague — being a young specialist in the aviation research institute — came to receive in the warehouse of the label alcohol ethyl refined in the amount of five kilograms.
As a young engineer, she calculated the volume of material and took a five-liter canister and a bottle.
The warehouser poured a canister on her and closed the suit. My colleague asked for a share. The warehouse owner didn't run for a long time, had to turn to the management.
It resulted in a scandal of all-institutional scale, because for the entire historical period, alcohol was bought and written down in kilograms, and issued in liters :) :) :)

The Spring. In the courtyard on the bush of the wreath: “Crape-cranium. And under the bush – the chicken, thoughtfully so, about itself: “Co-co-co-co-bones... Co-co-bones...” And by a row the pigeon walks through the yard, unleashing the tail, and sings: “U-umm-ri, u-um-ri!”

So much silver won.
This is for winning hockey.
HHH: How is it?
UUU: Judges some in hockey just sparkle
They need to put in silver.
Q: Per it is an asshole?
WOW: Maybe, but right in the heart and right through the ass.

comments to news from OI'14, Russia-USA:
In the moving gates to throw more difficult - you need to record two goals for one shot.

The cinema. The movie "Robocop" The moment when the protagonist comes to himself, he realizes that almost nothing remains from him and now he is a machine. He escapes from the laboratory and breaks into the neighboring hall, where dozens and dozens of identical people of small height in masks and uniforms work. All the inscriptions are hieroglyphs.

The voice from the back rows: "Fuck! And this is what the Chinese gathered...."

The conversation of a husband and wife sitting on a diet at 3 p.m.
I have sinned, I have eaten yogurt.
The young man! You have to eat when you want. I wanted yogurt – I ate yogurt!
I wanted a chocolate...

For the night, among other things, he threw in the laundry expensive sports socks - 4 pairs. In the morning I hang out my clothes - only 3 pairs of socks. What about...? Clearly, it burst in the car, between the walls of the drum. I was dealing with maths. I split the car in half. Here the wife calls: "I wanted to tell you that she hanged your socks on the battery so that they would dry out faster."

Vagon tea is similar to aeroflot chicken, only in a glass.

Photo from Ivano-Frankivsk - barricade with tires. and the first comment: "Berkut is not, and you want to cut down Kiev."

Case in the office:
Somewhere a cell phone ringed the melody of the Samsung alarm.
This is an alarm! Who is calling him? I am awake!! to

What about ###li, those who are for ##li.
The exit is as free as the entrance.

When training a cat, the main thing is to pretend that you have given exactly the command it has performed.