bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №93107
 28.01.2014
>>>> A gorilla with a gorilla heats the heater with a burner.

I can’t help but share my daughter’s favorite story :)

There was once a case in a distant Macau:
Cocoa Maca in Cocoa Maca.
Coala cacao lazily lacala,
Makaka makala and koala ikala.


[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №93106
 28.01.2014
Gorilla Glass screen scratched in your pocket about a plastic blister with vitamins!
Vitamins are power!

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93105
 28.01.2014

And in fact - there is always a working method "how to remove from the rack"
You go to the right country.
Walk away from the airport and guests preferably a couple of transfers on trains.
You destroy (or hide) documents, phones and so on.
You only stay in pants, shorts, and a T-shirt.
You go to a bar on the outskirts, find a biker the size of a closet and call him a pudding race.
Further shock + a couple of fractures - an ambulance - identification.
The main feature of the Brazilian television series is Amnesia.
Well, it is better to know the language well the right country.
All - a couple of months in clinics and sites and you have a new passport and a new life.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №93104
 27.01.2014
to this:
and...
Why are all angry, worried about the feelings of believers. In fact, all of it!) They live according to the laws of God and cannot be violated. Because the only laws of God are the laws of physics, and everything else was invented by humans.
and...
There is an old physics joke:
There is no God, there are laws of physics. You are going to fall into hell"

The classics must be known.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93103
 27.01.2014
But today my friend (as a fan of conspiracy theory) said to me: did you notice that there was no flu epidemic this year? This is specifically so that the Majdanovs would not crush - they are in the cold all the time.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №93102
 27.01.2014
Ivanovich: I go to the accountant, I say "Natasha, is it you have a headache from the morning?" - and she looks at me scaredly and asks "Where?"))))))))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №93101
 27.01.2014
Cholakost is the idea of relocating all popes to an intern with the Internet, where they will study accurate, natural and humanities.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93100
 27.01.2014
Q: What kind of wisdom have you learned today?
See also: Sensei Today I realized that two girls should never eat ice cream in cups in a public place next to the aging fat businessmen, because the shameful comments about licking and sucking and the disgusting goot can not be avoided. But Ira, an ingenious young person, quickly grasped another wisdom. If the innocent virgins by the will of fate find themselves in a similar situation, the only way out is to bite ice cream.
She made a girl!
Sasha, they had such faces! One of them poured coffee on himself.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №93099
 27.01.2014
News: Ulukaev (Minister of Economic Development) - "This is not the weakening of the Russian currency, but the strengthening of reserve currencies"
The plane does not fall, it is the earth rising.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №93098
 27.01.2014
of this creature:

xxx wrote a:
Gentle people, well explain what is cunnilingus. Or Google gives some incredible snake on request.

Have you ever eaten the shrimp that melted after freezing?
I crawl like that, crawling, flowing out of it.
Not to bite.
You scratch, you scratch, you scratch the bones, it flows on the beard, it's all sticky in the eyes, and you think - why?
___

Only a very dissatisfied person is able to spoil such moments of pleasure)))
And... learn to choose the harem and eat it right, or you can switch to bananas;)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93097
 27.01.2014
At the wedding, I saw a stunning manager at the restaurant. All the guests were divided into those who would blow and those who weren’t worth it.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93096
 27.01.2014
I can’t go by, I add.

Here are all the news on our journey:
Someone wrote here - "In Argentina there is an unprecedented aggression of piranhas. Since the beginning of the year, the number of victims has already exceeded 100 people"
We are working:
The journal has facts:
Since the beginning of the year, more than 100 people have suffered from piranha bites.
The piranhas are extremely evil predators, they live in herds and attack any animal that appears in their area (this is from school).
and here, instead of an absolutely logical conclusion - a hundred idiots had time to sneak into the river with piranhas, despite all the warnings, he has to boost the horror, mystics and unclear what else!!! One of the most aggressive predators, his mother, has become even more aggressive!!and "

You forgot to say that 100-200 bites are the norm for those places. Without ignoring this fact, the process of creating a sensation is incomplete.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93095
 27.01.2014
The new designer has a tough psychic.
The office is now dull, damp, condensate on the walls - ventilation is poor and the headbush instead of normal wallpapers on the walls and ceiling of the workers forced to paste the vinyl h*ynu "under the tree". It refuses to switch, says "breathe", "doesn't breathe" is all kind of nonsense, nonsense, but it cost everything very cheap, by acquaintance and in general, she personally likes everything...
The man after another attempt by the whole office to convince her to something more blameful, approaches her, puts a plastic bag from the supermarket on her head, tightly binds the edge and thus explains what everyone feels after the repair. Now he has a new computer and looks like a new grandmother with a machine and accounting education.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №93094
 27.01.2014
How do you get the program to wait 5 minutes?
Tagged with: sleep(300)
Get rid of the programmer!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93093
 27.01.2014
Early rises the one to whom no one gives at night.
Is it all up or partly?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93092
 27.01.2014
From an unwilling conversation in the subway:
HH: Why was the central exhibition venue of the country called VDNH, and now VVC?
YYY: The economy is no longer popular... (thinking) and there are no achievements.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №93091
 27.01.2014
How is it right to shoot at citizens or shoot at citizens?
Answer: Both options are possible

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93090
 27.01.2014
– Oh! The girl wrote to me: "Hello! I am an anonymous, I am 13 years old!What are you doing?"
Answer to "Hello! I am a pedophile! Let’s take care of... Death."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93089
 27.01.2014
If you went to the cafe from the street, where the winter, wind, frost, snow, asked for something to drink, and you were offered to grind, tea with ice, then you are in Russia.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93088
 27.01.2014
I’m eating chicken and I’m going to diet too.
Although
Kitty, for example, sat behind the wheel and lost weight from fear))

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