bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104109
 15.10.2014
Talking to the girl, she is a quarter Jewish, which she does not forget to periodically remind and listen to in response to the corresponding subjects.

D: I was brought from Israel a flash, such an interesting one, in the form of a Lego man, cool, right?
I: So she is Jewish.
D: And what then? O_O
I: You can’t copy it.
D: ><

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №104108
 15.10.2014
We are discussing with friends the inevitable but very annoying prospect of castration of the cat Sergei Ivanich.

Don’t worry, he won’t understand anything – he’ll wake up, but it’s too late.
This is why I fear you, women, you will wake up, but it is too late.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104107
 15.10.2014
AKR: How old is he?
I found someone to ask.
AKR: He is your brother.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104106
 15.10.2014
Sex in marriage.
XXX is a problem. Everything is stimulated, nothing is felt.
Did you tell the doctor?
ZZZ: Doctor, I have a problem!
What is?
Coney doesn’t get me!
I have a salary of $15,000.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104105
 15.10.2014
xxx: quarreled with Vika, she wrote, went in the evening and castrated the cat.
XXX: There are two things.
xxx: First of all, I’m manly guilty of the cat and I’m unlikely to be able to redeem it.
XXX: And secondly, I'm somehow linked to quarreling with her again.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №104104
 15.10.2014
Now you are a budget smartphone, what do you see yourself in 5 years?
I want to be an enterprise server.
and oh! and ambitious! You don’t fit us...Next!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №104103
 15.10.2014
I have a son Hachiko.
Maxim: Written by Apelsin
Ivan: You are a beautiful man!
And now dance.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №104102
 15.10.2014
xxx: By the way, to the history of 15552, in our city, the sidewalks were surrounded by fences, leaving only windows for bus stops. So at one stop near my house, where the shops began to park right in this window. Even for hours sometimes. Noah, you have to fuck them. Whoever rides on a big jeep, then through the fence is not smooth.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104101
 15.10.2014
And only those with yogurt have a chance?
___________________

I will not stand!
These mouthpieces think quoy, and choose "phytoniacs", with yogurt and a mandle figure.
Having brought this award-winning horse into constant use, our genius will start to complain that he wants a normal borsche, and she, the beast, doesn’t cook him at all.
Yogurt is fed. The Maldives :)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №104100
 15.10.2014
In Russia, the war of the TV with the refrigerator began.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104099
 15.10.2014
For the new year, his wife had a wish, but Santa didn’t tell him.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №104098
 15.10.2014
The doctor says:
In order for your husband to recover faster, he needs to drink more and walk.
The Wife:
I wonder how he was able to get sick at all.! to

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104097
 15.10.2014
Ircmaan: I read in a book that men are given a fair number of flowers, and women are given a false number.
ZazaNapoli: This is all because a man is given a flower only on the grave…

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104096
 15.10.2014
Why doesn’t my mom go to my boyfriend? We have been with him for a year.
YYY: Grandma does not want to become before time
Zzz: He doesn’t want him to put his flower in your vase.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104095
 15.10.2014
by 19:58
My poor antivirus runs all night. However, while travelling through pornographic sites, he suffered much less than during the search for books for the course.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104094
 15.10.2014
XXX: What is Dota? I read the description on wiki. And I understood nothing.
Yyy: Well, it’s kind of like football is shorter, only without the ball and with constant removals from the field.
Each team has a goal, but they do not need to score goals, but to break the goal itself. Whoever breaks first wins. For a rough game, remove from the field of the person who has suffered and he sits out of the game for a while.
What a barbarism!
YYY: More players can buy a new form to hit each other stronger, and learn to play better, all kinds of finties mastered right on the field. And each team has a crowd of fans who run from the stands and also try to break other people’s gates. But the fans are pretty shy.
XX: I understand this description. and boring.
YYY: Oh, I’m talking about football.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104093
 15.10.2014
Please add a quotation if the quotation has a source, i.e. it is copied from a forum or other resource that can be found on the Internet, so that it is possible to indicate that source.
The field is not mandatory to fill in, i.e. If the quote from the chat or just a scream of the soul, then nothing to indicate. When viewing, hide this source and show only by pressing a special button. If the source is not specified, the button is not displayed.
I look forward to such a year.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №104092
 15.10.2014
I will not go to Egypt. And in Turkey too.
by M?
No matter how I look at the pictures, the horizon is always blurred. I was in Dallas, and that’s exactly where it was.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104091
 15.10.2014
What can I give you on your birthday?
Coffee, if you want... a coffee machine, if you can... a car, if you love...

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104090
 15.10.2014
Really broke up.

I am now sitting on a push at work, on the door of the push a smart spinning machine, turned - the red stripes are illuminated, which means "Employed". But no, every mother of you thinks it is her duty to open this cracked door, it will be opened!
The chance that the indicator is broken and the door opens is the same as giving birth to a man!
The colleagues! Are you a programmer or what? To understand the interface of the spinning machine is such an unbearable task?! to
— — —
Three! Three of them have been written. Idiots

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna