bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №93307
 01.02.2014
Why buy a smartphone for 20,000-30000 rubles? The price is overpriced, the microwave can be bought for 3000.
Y: You don’t understand, the whole life is in the smartphone: the photos are there, the music is your favorite.
X: It’s in the refrigerator for a lifetime.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93306
 31.01.2014
xxx: By the way, I have a friend like that... vegetarian... pale, like a wamper))

Yyy: Hsssss... The herbivorous.

xxx: It is))) But I couldn’t convince you))

YYY: They are falling themselves down the food chain. The stupid.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №93305
 31.01.2014
I smoked for 15 years and quit in 1 day, forever! The folk remedy helped.
Did my dad eat?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №93304
 31.01.2014
Suddenly I realized that my childhood was over. I have to go home, I have to go home, I have to go home to my mom.
Oh, who would help...
M: So get the board.
I: (I put a crab behind her and a sting)
M and hunger.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93303
 31.01.2014
We have a director.
“I have,” he says, “a car with a start-up, look.
Give the keys to a manager.
Go bring me the car.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №93302
 31.01.2014
Over the ananas.
The fire burned.
Banana has long been a legend.
Potatoes are not lucky.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №93301
 31.01.2014
Algorithms for solving the problem:

This is>>>

"On screenshots in Word

I’m more shocked by people who do more tables in word. But when the contractor sent me a table in a word drawn in lines, and the content of the cells in them adjusted with gaps and transfers, then I was just Oh...
<<<<<<

I work as a senior assistant on naval vessels.About 75% of the table documentation, all forms from the office are sent in the word.The higher pilotage is the locked cells of the table (again, in the word), into which one word enters, and you need to fit a play about two acts.
From the fresh-take the filled paper form, smear the field corrector, scan, insert.jpg into the word and send it with the requirement to "immediately fill".

And I would understand if it was trolling.

Algorithm of Answers:
Print what you got.
Fill out the doctor’s handwriting.
Take a photo / scan.
Insert in word.
You send with the signature "Who comes to us with what, is from the same";
It is already trolling.
The engineer from NYC.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93300
 31.01.2014
From the discussion of the collar super-deep well:
Sounds from the underground under the Kolskaya well – is it really science?
2 are doctors. They analyzed the record — even as if they found out from which library of samples pieces of sound in it.
It is not yet known where the sounds come from in the sample library.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №93299
 31.01.2014
When I read about Robinson Crusoe at the Institute, I liked the book. As I read it now, I realized that he just opened the era of Twitter. "I went to the forest". "I walked into the tree". "I made a scarf". "I am very unhappy" "I caught a goat" "I made a fence" "I am deeply unhappy", well, and so on, reading in the light of modern realities is nice.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №93298
 31.01.2014
This and everyone who responds to such quotes:
and Dad:
A two-year-old boy bites a souvenir rabbit. From Gisele. It is applied apple pie. What did I miss in Child Nutrition?

To the doctor urgently, his ass in his hands and running his son on a stomach x-ray, fucking unmade!!! to
____________
You don't think that the authors without you know that it is urgent to go to the doctor, and here,, they write after taking all the measures, and rest?
And what idiotic manner is it to have everyone here without fully understanding anything?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93297
 31.01.2014
Answers to Questions as You Grow Up:

Why are there three toilets?
10 years - I don't know if someone wanted and put them exactly 3.
20 years - I know... there is a science that says how many toilets are needed in the toilet.
25 years, I know. They are exactly 3, because there is a regulatory calculation in the SNiP Public Buildings, and it is stated that 3 toilets are required for this building area.
30 years, I doubt it. The SNIP is old, and that calculation seems to be wrong... because there are options where these toilets will be exactly more than you need... or less than you need.
35 years old - I'm almost sure the number of toilets cannot be determined accurately. There are different regulatory documents regulating the number of toilets on such a building area, and it is not known exactly which one is in effect at the moment to take it as the basis.
40 years - I know for sure that even if taken as the basis of any of the existing regulatory documents, it is impossible to determine how many of them should actually be and who has built: the one who designed, the one who built or the one who took the work.
50 years - I don't know anyone wanted and put them exactly 3.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93296
 31.01.2014
For those who are embarrassed:

"I walk down the street, and I meet a guy with two girls, and each has one flower in their hands. I look at them and think: to cook potatoes for dinner or pasta?

Be simple, in most cases, everyone is poffy!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №93295
 31.01.2014
When I was writing my resume, my friend was standing behind her back and looking into the screen. Accordingly, it was all the way, making funny mistakes or killing in the resume an honest nonsense.
In general, as a result, a couple of organizations went to a resume, where the interests were hobbies: Alcohol, aviation modeling, radio amateurism.
XXX: And nothing, even for interviews called. True in one organization, HR clarified whether I am not bored to sit down and joke with radio details. The first point, the trip, did not bother anyone :)

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93294
 31.01.2014
The diagnosis is:
I look at the advertisement of the note for 11k "For study and entertainment"
And I think "What’s the point of learning with such a note? It will be the easiest model in the matlab for an hour and a half!"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №93293
 31.01.2014
XXX: I felt sarcastic about her.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93292
 31.01.2014
A: What to drink tea?
A: with cognac or liquor?
B: mm
I drink tea with cookies.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №93291
 31.01.2014
Mystery from the children's magazine "Tramway" of the year 91.
What is a Dangerous Dictionary?
It contains the word “dynamite”.
I don’t understand: the prophets worked there?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №93290
 31.01.2014
Zoo shop "Tiger" - everything for your home hairdresser.


[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93289
 31.01.2014
I came on a date... I took three roses, and she didn’t come. On the way home he decided to give roses to the two girls going to meet (and they will be pleasant, and their mood to raise)... in the end, they talked, met and went for a walk.
And here’s it, the awkward moment when you’re a guy going with two very beautiful girls and each of you has a rose =)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93288
 31.01.2014
Q: What do you think of Urban?
It is coal)))
N: How is it?
Tagged: googling
A – A – A – A – A – A – A – A – A Or I’m going to google your coal.)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna