bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93327
 01.02.2014
Children under the age of 3 have no knees.
WOW : Absolutely? What is the name of the place where the legs of children up to 3 years old are bended?
zzz: I guess what: "your mother, where are the knees of our child?"

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №93326
 01.02.2014
Uncle_Brr reads "New History of California, for Colleges and Universities"- "At a time when the Solar System had not yet formed, California had not yet existed." STRONG!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93325
 01.02.2014
XXX: Give her her number
YYY: No
XXX: Don’t go after me!
yyy: brother, this is a forever roaring blonde with 5 size, a small dog, constant nightclub cards, expensive pieces and cooking behavior.
yyy: she easily builds the forty-year-old deer of her office, drinks the whisker, with me passed the test on Aikyu on 144, listening to rock, 2 tattoos in Sanskrit, spends the evenings with proger in the pubs, on the day of our acquaintance she drew me a work scheme of the application of the servacle, passed the stalker on the tachpad, and the dogs before there were two - Java and Piton, and since the cobbler always had a second saucer, gave him and only a small moving dog remained.
XXX is fuck! I still got the fifth size in the first phrase and still cooking. After the second - dumb in the Zags to pull
Yyy: Brother, now you understand the truth why I don’t give her number.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №93324
 01.02.2014
The calendar of 1986 completely coincides with the current 2014. Use it!
First comment: The main thing is that Chernobyl should not be fooled again.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №93323
 01.02.2014
Celestialtiming: (spam about astrologer consultation online)

Inquisitor: If the Sun is in Capricorn, Pluto is in Pisces and Mars is in opposition, Mercury is in Gemini, I myself, the Weights, was born here, in Simferopol, and my last birthday was celebrated here, will the upcoming Sunday be the right day to start investing in Microsoft?
...
The Inquisitor: The author is silent. I will answer myself:
The position of Pluto and Mars in this case does not affect anything. Because if the Sun is in Capricorn and Mercury is in Gemini, then the Earth between them and Microsoft no longer exists.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №93322
 01.02.2014
I work in a motor vehicle.
Today, to save time, used on the roof of the composition without insurance.
The depot guard made my day by seeing me through video surveillance and letting me through a loud warning the song "smile the cascades".

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №93321
 01.02.2014
“Chihuahua are just dogs,” said the woman in the zoo store, “but the dogs are real children. Is it true, Seneca?
And she stretched out her rather impressive lips with a pipe in the direction of the small tai-terrier, which was raised in her because of the no less impressive sinus. Seneca sneezed and dive behind the sinus with his head.
- He has no fresh cheese for a day...I will tell you as a breeder – before buying such a puppy, his future parents simply have to...
“I understood,” said a woman with an eight-year-old girl. We need to train the kids first. Let’s go, Anna, to the birds.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №93320
 01.02.2014
Google has sold Motorol to Lenovo. The first comments on Habbra:

and Lenorola!

and motorcycle )

— — —
Blackmoonn

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №93319
 01.02.2014
by Natalia (13:46):
Uriah to you!!! to
by Danny (13:47):
What is?
by Natalia (13:47):
You got a daylight.
by Danny (13:47):
???? ? to
by Danny (13:48):
Did you get money on the phone?
by Natalia (13:48) :
Aghaia)
by Danny (13:48):
fuck banking, my wife will know about my salary before me ))))

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №93318
 01.02.2014
I read a quote here about how the girl pretended to be twenty-five years old, being not older than fourteen, but on the question about audio and video cassettes, she replied: "What is it?" I remember that the recording of my admission to the first class still lies at home, recorded on a video tape. I am looking for subwoofer. I think. It comes. I am not fourteen, I am twenty-one.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №93317
 01.02.2014
Cautious people even in the eyes of danger look through the binoculars.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №93316
 01.02.2014
The palace is bad. It does not clear the snow almost entirely. So, a little for the look of a spade will scratch and swing somewhere with friends. I complained about him at the JEK, no matter.
They say that the salary is small, nobody wants to go to work as a gardener.
And in the courtyard on the sidewalks of the mountain ice. My wife complains, she is slippery.
I called again to the JEC, quarreled, then dressed up in an old sweater, took a hammer and went to scale the ice at the entrance. I am standing, wearing, cleaning the ice.
There is a car and it looks like a broken face from the window. He begins to give me valuable instructions on how to clean up and all that. I sent him. And he said to me, "You are what, I am your boss, I will take you in a moment." He accepted me as a wicked worker. Well, I told him about him, his mother and other relatives and where I turned him and all his family. And I said that if he fired me, hell whoever would go in my place, I was irreplaceable.
He grabbed Swinton and left. A day later, the news was that our courtyard was fired. They took a new while trying to clean the garden.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №93315
 01.02.2014
In front of the herd is a roaring lamb with a bell. The sheep are sure he knows where he leads them. And the lamb just wants to be ahead - not dusty, and a good choice of grass!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №93314
 01.02.2014
In the topic "to drink or not to drink".

I am from an intelligent family, a third-generation teacher, and my boyfriend is a simple worker, a sanitary technician, like his friends. In ordinary life it does not bother us, but here in the holidays...
Unfortunately, when it comes to alcohol, in their company I am a white frog. Of course, no one imposes anything on me, my right to choose is respected, but the difference in our views makes me sometimes feel out of my plate.

The fact is that they are all, to one, hundred percent sober. But I can’t imagine a New Year without a glass of champagne and a birthday without a portion of martini. What did you think? and ;)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №93313
 01.02.2014
I am Bao Bao!
Go to the main menu.
Completion of work
Go to Dojo!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93312
 01.02.2014
My mom is cooking fish soup. I ask what kind of fish. Answered: "Heck and Heck"

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №93311
 01.02.2014
Site of Dating:
She: I will say immediately that the purpose of my stay on the site is to find a serious relationship (if, of course, it is possible at all). I hope you, like me, appreciate only real communication. I don't want to waste time on correspondence - I think it's better to meet once and understand if it's your person or not. If you are interested, I will be happy to get your phone number. Don’t be surprised, my family consultant may call, as I have burned up on relationships with men several times and decided that I will start dating with the help of a specialist.

He: Okay, only I have a meeting request (I usually find out in, unloved by you, correspondence) - write your date of birth (you can without the year, I counted ;)) and the last three numbers of the phone. My astrologer will make a prediction and tell if it is worth trying to start a relationship. If everything is normal. I will write down my number and arrange a meeting.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №93310
 01.02.2014
Sergey: I am not a selenium in games because I spend a lot of time on the robot
Q: I hope you are not a teacher?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93309
 01.02.2014
Wake me up tomorrow when you go to work.
You sleep so sweet in the morning. I am sorry to wake you up so early.
Q: Do you want me to do something to you so that it’s not sad?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №93308
 01.02.2014
Straga: How I showed my wife AutoCAD and I tell her: here is the one, here is the one, but there are individual individuals who do this way because of which work is sharply added.
You have no less foolishness than us.
I: In the sense?
Wife: We were sent a table (many tables) in Excel where in each cell was inserted a photo of a cell cut from another table. The entire department stood up in stupor, the table seems to be there and nothing can be done with it, it is not suitable for work.

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