bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103089
 21.09.2014
XXX: How do you feel about non-normative vocabulary?
You know... I’m so crazy.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №103088
 21.09.2014
News of Metro SPB
A drunk suicide jumped into Neva, but failed, and broke his leg.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103087
 21.09.2014
Attempts to prove to a fool that he is stupid, cruel, useless and always make a close look at the proofing: and why he actually does it.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103086
 21.09.2014
Collega: Yesterday at the corporate I stood in a line to the toilet for a stranger. And today Facebook offered me to add it to my friends."

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103085
 21.09.2014
This is the cultural capital! There, the copper is considered to be the one who has not read the original Henri de Renee.
YYYYYYYYYYYY I think everybody looks at me so hard...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103084
 21.09.2014
I don’t like to put the car there.
xxxh: there near the washing and all kinds of scary orcs roll, ha hae
The bombs?
What a bomb
hhh: fucking, cork, oak, dirty dirty all kinds
See also: HD

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103083
 21.09.2014
If the actress cannot show her skill, she shows her body.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №103082
 21.09.2014
Somewhere today I read another story about children in the plane and remembered.
Three years ago, my son and I went to Egypt. He was 9 years old then. The aircraft is large, 3-4-3 seats in a row. We went there where we were 4. We had two extreme seats at the passage, and next to it was a 30-year-old mom with a daughter. Nothing, as they say, predicted. Only they sat down, my mom started calling somebody so that her interlocutor urgently wandered from the other end of Moscow to the airport from which we were flying and canceled the credit card that this lady had just issued, herself not understanding why. She just talked to a bank employee from the hustle, waiting for the plane, and suddenly it itself settled. And in the plane, the lady began to suffer vague doubts. That was enough to attract my attention.
While the lady was talking on the phone, her daughter for about 5-6 years painted her mom’s jeans with a flommaster. My mom noticed it when it was too late. And the only thing she said was, “Daughter, well, you can’t do that!” Then the girl started burning. She alternately struggled in hysteria lying on the floor, grabbed her mother for her hair in anger because her mother didn’t give her something, walked on her back. Sitting and licking the men’s legs on the back seat, that is, creating a celebration for others. Finally, this monster turned attention to the most accessible target – my son sitting next to her.
I must say that my son has been reading since the age of five. I was mocked at school and then mocked that I went to the library every day, although I still write with mistakes, and this spit over me. He sat down all day and read quietly. The monster grabbed his hands and began to sneak out of his seat. I turned to my mother, already knowing what I would hear in response. She looked at us with contempt and said to her daughter, "You see, daughter, men at this age are all goats, you can't expect anything from them," and to me, "And your child could give up!" What to give up? Another free place? There is some boundary beyond which you are no longer angry, it causes amazement and laughter.
Then the girl, apparently, put a motorcycle in her ass, and she began to wear through the passages, wiping out glasses, food and other passenger things.
It was already on the flight to Hurghada.
For what, in fact, I write. For the one phrase that this mother-in-law said when we landed. She, once again looking around us with contempt, said: "All children are like children, they play, they run, only you raised a fool, he was sitting and reading like a fool all the time."

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103081
 21.09.2014
Sorry for calling so late.
You are not too late, you are not too late.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103080
 21.09.2014
In the bowl:
"And the worst thing is that the payer has no altar note".
— — —
Really scary.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103079
 21.09.2014
I got a compliment today.
Riding a taxi, the taxi driver says to me, “You’re the first girl for today to come out almost on time.”
I answer: "You don’t know the whole story yet. After the signal that the taxi had arrived, I had time to change clothes.
Taxi Driver: "Did you accidentally serve in the army? andquot;
I: "No, but I have two children"
Taxi Driver: " Yes, this explains everything "

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103078
 21.09.2014
Sergey Ivanovich is a very naïve but intelligent cat. He regularly climbs to the table, knowing that he will scratch the water in the sharp gray face of the sprayer, so he runs through it to the window at an accelerated pace so that it doesn’t fall. Here is the package on the table. How not to smell. The demonstration begins from the spray. And then Sergey Ivanich includes MEGAMOG and escapes from the mini-brandspot in this same package with the head, tail and other causals. But the package is not a capsule - and dry and left on the table - profit!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №103077
 21.09.2014
With this character, someday someone will beat you! ... maybe even me... or those I will pay for"
If you forget the notebook again, I will buy it for you. This is a beautiful... with Beer..."
You talk so much that I can’t understand whom you are reminding me of the bulbs—papagating my neighbors or those from House 2.
Why doesn’t Ivanka write anything? "Well, because he is stupid here!"
You didn’t read Fathers and Children because it wasn’t in the library? Vasya, you should talk to your parents about this, but I will have to. What do you know about torrents?"
Hello to you from 10A! ?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103076
 21.09.2014
A good leader is like a fur in your ass: it doesn’t let you sit quietly.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103075
 21.09.2014
here here :

I’m all waiting for London to declare the Scottish referendum illegitimate and start bombing Edinburgh.

As soon as there will appear the people's self-defense of Edinburgh in the form of the Russian Federation.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №103074
 21.09.2014
We were in Budapest and lived in the City Apartments. The Wi-Fi points at the neighbors were called Fucking City Apartments, City Apartments Sucks, Fucking Tourists From City Apartments, City Apartments Go Home. Lovely people...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103073
 21.09.2014
xxx: From the company "VTB-Insurance" came a letter "Give gifts for the best adventures". What are they about?
yyy: Casting for the most exciting insurance case

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103072
 21.09.2014
I am a great 5B manager. After the lessons, they went with them to clean the area. There was almost no garbage, so the children began to get angry. One boy ran with a package against the wind and spoke: "MUSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!". I caught myself in the thought that I also want to run and scream: "MUSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!and "
26 years old, teacher, I don’t feel like an adult at all :D

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103071
 21.09.2014
The harmless man. Noisy, often under the beer, a lover then in a fight to use, then in a monkey to be

— — — —

Ahha, we know such: "I just asked to smoke", "The car just took a ride"...
It’s disgusting to read!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103070
 21.09.2014
From Szhaman:

In this place, I always remember the fairy comments in the Lithuanian news portal. Then they discussed a small change in the gun law. And it was written in such a way that, if desired, it was possible to understand what they were deciding - whether to allow the sale of guns in Lithuania at all.

I sat and just stumbled. Unfortunately I could not keep the comments. All internet theorists were hysterical - but how can we allow weapons in Lithuania? We have corrupt mentions, people are wild, drunkenness and crime. Absolutely not! Lithuania is not America - there are traditions - and here is wildness.

Everything is like a copycake with arguments in Russia. Humor is that wearing and possessing guns was allowed at the time for more than 10 years.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna