I come home with a beer, two and a half cups.

Wife: What is this?
I am a hooligan.
Wife: What kind of hooliganism?
I am small. From two to five...

X: >> According to reports on the street of Grushevsky it is impossible to breathe without anti-gas. Demonstrators throw stones at the militia, while the militiamen pick up the stones and throw them back into the crowd.
X: I think, or should there be shit in the place of stones?
Y: And then it will not be Ukraine, but two.

Pachwork, scrapbooking, felling... I know English, but I’m still wondering what my wife does while I’m at work at night!
I already know about decomposition.

M: You have brains and breasts. You can become even more mimic only if you turn into a cat.
by Yin.
And sleep all day.
And to eat. If you get better, everyone gets better.
and ppc. I want to be a cat.

<slava[cloud]_> Well I'm walking in the center and I suddenly needed a bucket of wire.
<Slaanesh> fame so suddenly...
<Stereokitsune> I’m afraid to think which places of the Walk of Glory need a screw...
<Slaanesh> Aichi BDSM Club
<Slaanesh> he will bind her

I talked to friends of the Hobbit. They came to the moral appearance of Transduil’s son, reminded him of his long-standing friendship with Hymly... As a result of discussion, a mem was born: “All around Legolas, I am Aragorn!”

Now from time to time someone from the company spoke with the voice of Vladimir Volfovich: "Legolasy!"

She: Why did the child start to quarrel after you sat down with him one day?
I mean, am I an ebou?

Wife to husband online games:
“Well, let’s do it differently – if you don’t pay attention to your only yearly charm, you won’t go through quests with it every day: play, walk, swim, etc. Then sooner or later your account will be blocked.
A man with horror: Who?! to
My wife – I! I am! Your moderator of life, your mother! I have already borrowed in the compass!! Go play with your son!

Well, this treats about me, orets and thinks.
A cat?
and husband

The communicators and the Aitishnikov have three main enemies: the builders, the electricians and the cleaner.

In the street again snow is going, tired already, cleaning the courtyard fainted!
“Well, you’re licking the snowmen in the yard, and it’s fun and there’s less snow!”
You know, the problem is that I have so much snow in my yard that it’s enough to blink into the full height of the Zephyr monster from Ghost Hunters!

CherryJB: My husband has stuck with me all night! And he will embrace, and his nose will be stuck in his neck, and my feet will be drawn to his own. I think the dinner is delicious!! to
And in the morning it turned out that the fork opened and he was cold, because I accidentally pulled the good half of the blanket under me.

Looking at software from certain companies comes to mind that they have resigned the last programmer responsible for certain fixes, and now they are using the method of reverse engineering to try to understand what they have so programmed there.

I am a dog. I don’t want to "fast do things". I want to swim in the snow and run for pigeons.

Lorraine: They say, in a sign of a special location, Brodsky offered the guests: "Would you want me to wake up a cat for you?". I was recently delighted by a young man who gave out, loyally looking in the eyes: “I don’t have a cat, but you want me to wake up Ktolhu for you?”

to this:
We met... I don’t know, he doesn’t brush his teeth, or he doesn’t change his cowards, or maybe a disease – but we communicate now only at a pioneering distance. How would you tell such a good man?

From personal practice:
I met a girl, the smell from her mouth was... not even the smell, the smell. Several times tactically hinted, then directly advised going to the dentist. Hysteria and separation.
In a couple of months I will find out that she is in the jaw-face, with the most difficult suppuration.
I understand not funny. But still do not soak up the problems and take comments into account, with health do not joke.

And yes, my dear ladies, say, who of you is now cooking borsches for three and a half hours, and then still pushing them with old yellow salt with garlic? Who in the oven tomatoes for half a day?
--------
I cook, and on two (sometimes three) different broths, and with garlic bread, and greens grow on the window.
There is no oven, but the cakes are in the oven.
But only when I want to cook a delicious family, not every day in the form of a grandmother's duty. And I am sure that we, such, are many.

You would ask who the cow in the morning dozes :)

The riots in Kiev:
Eugene R***: They seem to have decided to go the way of Assad.
X** V***: No, there are peaceful protests, it is the policemen specifically burned the bus to discredit the peaceful march, the demonstrators themselves tried to extinguish the bus, throwing empty bottles, bricks and armor, but can not get into it...

If you have a laptop or just a soft keyboard, try typing the words "vampire", "burn", "cake" with your finger on the keys. Do not thank.
You can try searching for more words. If there is time, it is delayed. At the moment the record in length - "prototype". Who is more?

X: And in Australia, a flood... One of my acquaintances got there. I say to him, “I thought there was a desert in Astralia.” "They also thought so there").