bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №90467
 02.12.2013
Not to laugh, but to cry. In the first class, children should already be good enough to read and write.
Although with modern education soon to 5th grade will probably begin to distinguish letters from numbers.
— — —
Don’t talk about the good old days. In 1980, in the first class - until the end of the first quarter, we were taught alphabet, and the teacher was not interested in who knows what, taught on the program.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90466
 02.12.2013
What I wanted to say with all this monologue - you can cut a lot of bubble without rest, or cut a little bubble but with rest, which, in turn, bubble will not be :) I do not take into account the position with the payment of 50t.p. per month, the standard grain is taken into account on an average of 25 t.p. per month.
--------
You named the numbers.
Now they will resort to ds-niks, begin to boast about 200+ rubles, advise to look for a normal, in their opinion, work and learn life.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №90465
 02.12.2013
With Dirty.
Just from Maidan. I had a left nostril, and the tear gas helped me break it down. All you are offered in the pharmacies is a tuft!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №90464
 02.12.2013
After sex, the husband went to wash someone, returns:
Now you can go to bed with a clear conscience.

I knew that the conscience of men was there.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №90463
 02.12.2013
I moved from a separate house to an apartment. Well, that I would have a neighbor with a perforator, I didn’t even doubt. But I was lucky! I have a light version: it starts drilling strictly after the hour of day. Life has succeeded! )

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №90462
 02.12.2013
How is Dr. Router called?
In the sense?
He will send you to the right doctor.
A therapist?
Exactly thank you!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №90461
 02.12.2013
From email mail:

Welcome to *****!

We inform you that your account has been disabled due to the deadline for inactivity.

If you do not want to object to the project, then delete this email and forget about it, and we, in turn, in a month will forget about you and never worry again.

from 01.12.13
The guys have an awkward service, I liked their response)))) short and clear)))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №90460
 02.12.2013
Never trust three categories of people: Gypsies, Jews and hairdressers.
Yyy: What, the curve of the Iroquois came out?))
xxx: Well, I said that about the Gypsies and Jews no questions will arise ^_^

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90459
 01.12.2013
But if I knew it then, I would not feel fashionable and stylish, but stupid in the way. And I would not be able to make a proper impression on my current husband, with whom we have been together for more than 10 years.
Ladies and gentlemen, draw conclusions. Style is in the head, not in the clothes.
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And why does it seem to me that her husband didn’t look at the jumper at all, but more at the face, breasts and character?)

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №90458
 01.12.2013
The Maniac:
Distinguishing a manic from a normal manic is quite simple. It is enough to ask: "How many human bodies, with a volume of 100 liters each, will fit in a cubic hole, with a rib length of 1 meter?"
The normal person will answer "ten" or ask for additional conditions, and the maniac will say "seven" because he knows the actual rate of filling the pit with human bodies.
_______________________
How do you know this ratio?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90457
 01.12.2013
to this:
Please don’t write the "sweet" at the end of the quotation. Even the most funny of this ceases to be funny, and the author wants to chant for the lack of a sense of measure. If you do not feel that the curtain is superfluous, just believe the word. Better without him. and honestly.

I support. This also includes all sorts of "subtable" and other indicators of the author on what a funny joke.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90456
 01.12.2013
It doesn’t matter where you like it.
I like you anywhere :D

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №90455
 01.12.2013
The division into "technology" and "humanitarian" is incorrect. The correct names are "disabled humanities" and "disabled technical sciences".

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №90454
 01.12.2013
The year 2005:

<n0> soon I will not be surprised when on the street you approach a girl to ask how long and she will answer "vypija jadu" - pizza minutes.
<n0> and people on the sidewalk will say: lol chuvag: kill yourself.
<Atrium> and the passing grandmother will think: "the swallow is protected"

Fuck it, you knew it.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №90453
 01.12.2013
XAXBCZCZAAX: I’ve seen a lot of fun in one German movie
Shil0: Gathered your nick in the MK - killed Shao Khan.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №90452
 01.12.2013
In recent times, trying to download something from the Internet is like trying to go through a crowd of Gypsies, and at the same time you are filled in your pockets with meaningless stuff and you get a cold, flu, plague...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90451
 01.12.2013
In the theme of Van Damme, who sits on a sword between cars and all sorts of parodies on him. I found another, pleased with the first comment:

Urok: already is a video, where Yanukovych sits on a spat between customs and the European Union.


[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №90450
 01.12.2013
Dema: I watched a masterpiece conversation at the medfak. One girl asked in the group if they watched "The Walking". In response, I got what they watched, and still ahead of a seminar on the "lightening" and a visit to the morge.
Dema: Only Medfak, only Hardcore

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №90449
 01.12.2013
XXX God will forgive
Yyy: I doubt he sees all my shame.)
YYY: If you assume that it exists
YYY: But this is a completely different story.
XX: How will you then explain the workability of your code?
Fuck, there is a God.
yyy: it is even more convincing than the intangibility of the universe and the fact that life exists.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №90448
 01.12.2013
In the distant, distant years, the book "How steel was hardened" was recorded in the sections of catalogues "Metallurgy", "Steel and Rental Technology" and others.
ууу: Has the anecdote about the field theory article in the Journal of the Agricultural University finally come true?

These and many other fun paradoxes can already be seen today on the site, created on the task of the Ministry of Science. The site is called the Map of Russian Science. Just look at what areas the country’s leading mathematical, physical or humanitarian institutions are dealing with.

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