bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №89907
 19.11.2013
A lot of girls on the motto say they love New York. In the meantime, it is Zaporizhia.

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №89906
 19.11.2013
The holder of the title of "the strongest man on the planet" Vasily Virastyuk, accidentally unleashed a rally in support of the rights of sex-minorities, organized by the "Blue Partisans" in Lviv.

According to eyewitnesses, the Ukrainian strongman appeared unknown from where and with a very evil expression of the face, demonstratively waving his hands, headed to the people who gathered. Noting this, the protesters fled to different directions, throwing posters and symbols.
"It is unthinkable!" - the head of the organization "Blue Partisans" is outraged
"They are gay "I had a bad day, I was very irritated, because I had a tooth pain, and I almost just ran to my dentist, whose office is on the very prospect of Liberty - to tolerate this pain was not able. The protesters? No, I did not see. I say, very in a hurry, and only had time to notice how some crowd of people very quickly and loudly fled in different directions.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №89905
 19.11.2013
If Pavlensky had done this on the pole (no matter on the North or the South), it would have been possible to boast: I turned this Earth on a whore! The ball, and only.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №89904
 19.11.2013
to this:
I get up so early that my morning stand only starts when I get to work.

It’s good when you go to work :)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №89903
 19.11.2013
>> Lukashenko ordered urgent modernization of Belarusian science
We need more potatoes.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №89902
 19.11.2013
Asked who he wanted to be at the New Year’s Carnival, Stepa replied, “I’ll be an angel.” Great and terrible"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №89901
 19.11.2013

by Evgeni20:28:03
I am ignored on Facebook.
Yesterday I wrote 10. No one answered and no one added.

Thessaloniki 20:28:35
Because you are bad.

by Evgeny 20:28:42
How did they find out?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №89900
 19.11.2013
"The protection of the sensation is not the same!" said the electrician, removing the rubber gloves and taking the naked contacts.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №89899
 19.11.2013
I have my birthday today, I am 47 years old, I have a wonderful family, ofgenese children, a great psychiatrist, a psychotherapist, professionally selected pills, group therapy three days a week and the confidence that someday we will break it all up and live better than before.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №89898
 19.11.2013
I go to town with my son. We see the advertisement "Services of a professional banker".
The son asks, “What is that inet?”
I: Probably what?
Sons: Yes, out of the bankers offer their services.
I am :?? to
Son: Well, the banchers who are bathing everyone in the forums.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №89897
 19.11.2013
Ha, "Sheremetyeh"... Here on the main in the quote "namedny" is written as "on copper". The father of the young children is a writer, comrades.

[ + 5 - ] Comment quote №89896
 19.11.2013
Rainbow dreams are prohibited in our country.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №89895
 19.11.2013
Direct banking
A lady calls the bank and with a loud voice reports that the ATM "eated" her card. Find out which bank. It turns out that this ATM is disconnected because it is put on repair, and it can not "eat" the card - the cartoucher of the non-working ATM is blocked by a special metal curtain. It is almost impossible to lift the curtain. This is me and I explain.
It is true, the voice agrees. I tried – I can’t do it. So I decided to put the card where the money comes from.
The show is also closed with curtains. I tell her.
Again, the interlocutor agreed. I took a nail stick and raised it.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №89894
 19.11.2013
The budget is not scattered everywhere - there is a place where it is just scattered in pieces.
It’s called “Skolkovo!”

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №89893
 19.11.2013
Report from the road construction of Moscow: "... By the New Year, the reconstruction (the enthusiast highway) will be fully completed. The two-year sufferings of motorists will cease – now they will stand in traffic jams not among the fencing and excavators, but on the excellent eight-lane track with a fighter in the middle.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №89892
 19.11.2013
If in any city you build the buildings of the city council, the city police department, the bank, the post office of Russia and the state clinic at such a distance from each other that a pentagram is formed, then in the center of this pentagram will open the gate to Hell.

Yyy: But you can get there only by holding a long row and correctly filling out all the documents.

zzz: Unless there is a weekend or lunch break.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №89891
 19.11.2013
Interview with E. Vasilyeva (which takes place in the case of the Defense Service)

How do you think it is worth fighting corruption in Russia?
In order to overcome corruption in the field of property relations, this property needs to be sold.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №89890
 19.11.2013
From Fiches, discussion of anti-tobacco legislation, spelling of the author:

Soon the law will come out about how much a husband and wife should love?
Wow: Soon there will be a law on the rights of fools and then the country is a shit.
Zzz: Well, you are a batenka such a law has long been in force, the law on parliamentary immunity is called)))

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №89889
 19.11.2013
My wife said that it is very easy to understand football. It is enough on the sector to periodically jump, stretch out the hand, throwing somewhere in the direction of the field and roar:
Give it an end! Give to the end! The cock!
from behind!
Come out! Come out! Come out! The fucking!
and all. The whole football.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №89888
 19.11.2013
Wake up without 5 alarms.
You lie down and look in the dark.
Waiting around the bed.
The entire external world is loaded.

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