In the Institute Group:
what I learned in two and a half months of study here 1. divide by zero can 2. salt water best after boiling

I need a dwarf costume, size 54, height 178.

Snow White is scary.

I work in a call center, need to explain.
Today, a colleague creates an order, arranging equipment for the kitchen, and all this time, in addition to the client, the mother of this client heats her ears on a parallel phone. And here the colleague asks: "Do you confirm your order?"
Mother: "I’m going to get you on the lap!Danny, stupid, you don’t have winter boots, and you, B**, order a machine for the pelerines!"
Customer: "Mom, put the phone on!"
The colleague again calls the entire amount, mom at this time, breaking the validity of the conversation, again spells about the shit on the scarf and "dance, you are well-picked and right here they tell you about it!and "
In general, a colleague barely completed the order, and then, of course, told us this wonderful story.

I want to be rude sometimes, but I’m too feminine :(
yyy: a "too feminine" - is it how?
zzz: no beards, beard and penis

From Wikipedia, an article about mayonnaise:

"It is the main component of festive vomiting masses"

by PS. They have already drunk.

ZZZ: For some reason I always thought that Michelangelo, Raphael, Shishkin, Vereshchagin, Repin, Rembrandt, Vasnetsov, Surikov, Aivazovsky, Leonardo da Vinci, Rublev, Titian, etc. They are artists. The artist is the one who sticks his eggs to the ground with a nail. Or am I old, or is Petya not an artist at all?

Q. What is Poetry? There will be no place for her in the new world at all — or, more precisely, there will be a place, but the poems will only become interesting if it is known and documented that their author has two fools or that he, in the bad end, is able to read them with his ass.

I was looking for a way to entertain a friend in the hospital. Among other things, I came across this story:

I was lying in the institute of eye diseases in the adult department because of the repair, there was a catastrophic lack of seats and I was assigned to the children's department.

I thought I was sick, and no, the kids there quickly made me a pioneer :D

I’ll see, you’re an optimist!
YYY: Am...?? to
xxx: 2 weeks before the army put "In active search"!

From the Motor Forum:

Yesterday I parked, I put my helmet in the coffin. There is no one around, a man passes by and asks:
Do you manage them yourself?
The first thing that came to my mind:
I brought it under my armpit.)

Controller: "Everything, we’ve got it, there’s 640 kB at all and don’t fuck it".

-------

An infinite number of mathematicians enter the store.
“Give me a kilo of potatoes,” the first mathematician told the seller.
“I’m 0.5 pounds,” the second said. I have 0.25 kg. He asks the third.

I understood, says the seller, and put 2 kg on the shelf. and potatoes.

News headline: "The Mayor of Astrakhan was suspected of 200-million bribery"
It is a pity that in our country are only held on the anniversary order numbers of bribery.

Today I talked to a cunning man named Ashot Adolfovich. Let’s go to Adolfovich!! to
I did that at all ?

Yesterday, in a store, a man asked a two-casset magnetophone to rewrite the cassettes at home. This is the pirate of the 20th century.

The fool who quotes you doesn’t seem like you’re that stupid anymore.

The praporcher:
– Ivanov, why didn’t you attend masking exercises yesterday?
Comrade, who told you I wasn’t there?

The genius of history:

"The history of the Middle Ages.

of Russia. The beginning of the eighteenth century."

I don’t even know what surprises me here more: that somebody had a turbulent time in the eighteenth century, or that for somebody the eighteenth century is the Middle Ages.

by JJ
A few minutes ago, a child on a three-wheeled bike crashed into my sick leg.
and his probably father, trying to catch him so that he does not fall,
Whether it is to pull me away sooner, or is it too late to prevent the clash?
I stumbled, fell, overturned a child with a bicycle and hit my leg with my head!
It was so painful and unexpected.
That my body reacted faster than I could think.
And with a sharp stroke he crossed the unhappy parent in the head.
Wrapped in a plastic bag with a branched sausage, which he held in his right hand.
And, finally, the final: the roaring child jumped to the shaken and trying to get up.
And shouting, “I’ll tell my mom,” he nodded his foot. The Pizzeria.
Two minutes later, they apologized to each other. Except the child.
When the man told him to apologize to his uncle,
The child also insulted me and told me what he would tell his mother.
The fucking shit. Do not walk in the streets. There is dangerous.

My girlfriend gave:
As I heard... And it’s not necessarily what you said.

Zzz: Do you know who Milko is?
XXS: Is it a fictional character?
Zzzz: Are you an Aquinator?! to

Xxx: We shared vaseline... many of us, and the boss was one...