xxx: I forgot to warn you to ignore my messages sent after 22:00
YYY: Are you turning into a butterfly?

Q: How did the training day go?
ууу: in the break played the game "guess the series on the music screen"
WOW: Now everyone knows I don’t have a private life (

How sometimes you want to instead of the answer button "No, thank you" on the question about the next Houthi there was a button "No, go fuck!and "

Correspondence with the Director
XHH: Today I saw zzz lapping on a Marxist woman in the transition. He so scared me.
Is he in the hospital? O_O
XXX: Agha
The smell! This is failure.
XXX: Just a fateful meeting
PS: Did he play well?
XXX: I even gave him a little.

The dog is the cat’s food. Cats are stealing my sausage from my table. I think, should I close this vicious circle, or should I break it?

Habr, discuss MySQL certification with a huge discount (50 backs):

“But you probably won’t take the exam without listening to a $1075 course. I am right?
is not right. You can not pass the exam and listen to the appropriate course.

“Modesty adorns” – stubbornness humiliates.

History of 02.11. 2013 for the Huntsman. Sorry for the error. It was not 1979 or 1969.
It was.
1975 year. The USSR, Soviet Army, RWSN, Belarus, p/o Myshank, 100 days before the order.
We, the sergeants of the service division of 5 people, the Urals, decided to celebrate this event with peelmen. For the manufacture and eating of those was determined a training boiler near the barracks.
The pellet farce was decided to buy in the shop of the officer town during the cult march in the cinema. In the store should wash during the session the one who was comfortable, and buy 2 kg of shrimp. After the film, returning to the battery, they found out that they could all. 10 kg of farce. I understood why the saleswoman looked at me this way: I was the last one who could.
Muku was decided to take at our bakery, which was commanded by a familiar sergeant.
And then came Sunday. We gathered in the cottage. A warrior comes and brings a bag of torture! To our words that we need a bag, not 50 kg, the warrior answers: “A bag is ordered. I will not take it back.”
Pellets were glued in the size of a fist and in the amount of a sheet of fade 2x2 meters.
In the evening, after extracting 3 bottles of local samsung, we gathered in the boiler.
Cooked peelmen on a small electric platter for 2 hours. While the peelings were cooked, the selfie was drunk. The second batch of forces was no longer there, so they decided to eat the remainder of the peelings the next day.
After hiding the bottles in the chimney, we returned to the battery, where we went to sleep. One of Us (Vadik Balandin, Hello!) In the evening on the way to the toilet was caught. The Deaf Lieutenant. Staley, being under the flies and himself, did not raise the bull, but gathered us all five countrymen and found out from the battery guard where we were, led us to the scene of the crime. Having seen a sheet of petals and not finding the bottles, he sealed all the doors with a personal seal and went home to the town.
All night we tried to penetrate into the boiler to remove flour and peelings. But could not. In the morning, after the divorce, our combat, Major Kostyuk, gathered us all and declared: "Ural peelmen without vodka will not be eaten. If there was a pelmeni, then she was drunk. If there was a drunk, then 5 days of lips to each. High Lieutenant Deaf. We refused: there were no pelmeni, the starley was drunk and he thought it all!
Arriving at the boiler, the starley checked the seals and opened the boiler. First came the combat, we followed, representing a seat on the garrison lip.
On the leaf of the fanery sat a healthy, red RICE. She turned over her shoulder and asked, “Why are you here? “There was no pelerine!” No suffering for a little!! From the bag was left a bastard. Stallone just cried. Then we cried out, “We said it was a joke! We did not believe it!!“!”
Combat said, “Old Lieutenant, you need to drink less! The officers are free.”
After that, the life of the rats in the boiler began!!! We fed them and did not touch them.
Anyone who recognizes himself is greeted!
Ch K

As an apology for the staff’s obsession, we were sent a bottle of wine to the room, but when we asked for a cup and glasses, we were sent to hell.

Maximum
Not sure why there was no excitement in the universe?

Evgeny
Fuck Max, you were not on a pair on Saturday, of course in an hour and a half the end of the world happened, we changed the dean and deputy dean. They changed the schedule, we had to study in the night shift. Then Lord Sithov arrived and said that the Polytech did not meet intergalactic standards and he was forced to blow it up to the whales. But the new dean begged him not to do this, and for this he sucked his nose off the snail... However, this was stunned by reporters from the planet Nibiru and it led to an intergalactic conflict. It was a 30 minute war. Voronezh was completely destroyed. Then came the Goblins and began to rebuild it... And here the last piece of the affart was rebuilt in a puddle at your arrival. The dean was also returned.

About the graph with modern games:
There is one simple “trick.”

We lower all possible graph indicators to the maximum (but only leave permission).

If the game after that became unplayable or uninteresting - it is not a game, but the hell knows what.

Fair for most modern games (especially the genre of shooters).

I went shopping with my husband and went to a jewelry store. A tired husband is playing something on the phone. I look at the cute bracelets and say:
Beautiful, but probably golden.
Without disconnect from the phone:
Who are captured?

Also, in this work, there is a love triangle, which is not an Euclidean figure, since all the corners in it are dull.

The eggs look like this:

Hi to you. Where can you find chicken eggs in your store?
Look at the Delicate Department. Somewhere near the black caviar.

I have slept! I feel Almighty! For example, I can still sleep...

Watching a series of bones.
We calculated the IP address of the person who sent letters to the victim with threats.
On the large screen in the laboratory proudly illuminated 192.168.0.120.

I go to work in the tram, I sit by the window, I read Dan Brown "Inferno". A girl is sitting next to me. Before one of the stops, she apparently, having understood the text that I am reading, touches her shoulder and says so insightfully, “Girl... The virus does not kill, but sterilizes” and leaves the tram. Oh Oh Oh Oh The girl with the short dark-blue hair, who was driving in Kiev at the 11th of the tram, if you are reading this - so that you at the entrance to the cinema the worker of the hall whispered to the ear every time that at the end of the film will be!

JJ roman_shmarakov: He was struck by a sign at the station: "Higher comfort waiting room". What is our whole life but a futile expectation of increased comfort?

XXX is
My classmate painted a sparkle right on my feet on the control and gave me to write off. While I was writing, I forgot what the control was about. The couple got it anyway. But I won’t forget the process of writing, I read it, I read it, I read it, I read it, and the shirt is stuck. And then stuck, the control failed, of course, but the sparkles in the memory remained for a lifetime.
YYYY
I also watched this edition "Eralash" ))

Discussion of replacing asphalt with a pavement tile on a well-known auto forum:

XXX: I didn’t doubt for a minute that there would be a new tile!!! Imagine where the dog has gone!

yyy: Applicable to Moscow is correct to say not "the dog rattled", but "the dog rattled")))