bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №88727
 23.10.2013
The standard Google player in the phone has been updated, and the shuffle mode has been added under the name "I am lucky". What a miracle he took the sounds from the folder with the navigator and now such pearls happen: after the track there is the sound of the navigator "speed limit 30" and then there is the track of the tattoo "we will not catch". or the sound of the navigator "attention in front of the hospital" and then dabbstep :))

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №88726
 23.10.2013
Of the explanations in the protocol for violating the silence at night: "The silence was not violated, only 2 times shouted from pain and 3 times from pleasure."

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №88725
 23.10.2013
to there:
here here :

Q: Is this the end of the world?
Q1: Are you a fool? This is when the sun turns out and it becomes dark.
The second quilt: What? And I’ll go to Peter, there are white nights and light.

— — — —
The sun is a useless object. It shines in the day when it is so bright.
The moon is much more useful, it shines at night.

--------
Chui, don't joke so subtly, now two months will be bitterly breathing about modern education, once a great country and a fucking generation.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88724
 23.10.2013
From the website, section "On the project":
The development took into account the best traditions of service adopted in such respected and established organizations as "Post of Russia" and "Sberbank".
O is terrible...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №88723
 23.10.2013
N: Find me the trait that whispered to me to go to the mahmat, I’ll fuck him with a bowl.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88722
 23.10.2013
falling down to your feet, c
With great sorrow we inform you,
At your request nothing.
found

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №88721
 23.10.2013
From Habra, a topic about the mobile internet:
In MTS after the end of the "limit of unlimited Internet" - 70Mbps per day, it is simply turned off.
MTS: Yes, speed should be limited to 64kbps, but in your region it is limited to 0kbps.
I am: that is. I have an unlimited tariff with a speed limit of 0kb\second?
MTS: Yes

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №88720
 23.10.2013
Excerpt from the conversation in the office:
I was disconnected from the internet for seven days. I started playing computer games, watching TV. I realized that life is quite an interesting thing!

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №88719
 23.10.2013
I’ve been living in Canada for three years, but every time I have to cling to a white wall, I instinctively check whether it’s bleached.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88718
 23.10.2013
For the younger (4 years old):

I sit with him, my wife in the other room. I’m hanging on my feet, talking about whether he’s small or big. It insists that big, just huge!
As a result, a song performed by the duet is born:

Big Oleg, the hands are bigger than the head!
Big Oleg, his legs are bigger than his hand!
Big Oleg, the pop is wider life!

In the same spirit.
The child is enthusiastic, composing new lines himself.
In the room drawn by the noise, a wife looks, I silence.
But the child, by inertia turning, releases on the whole house a new line, just born to him: huge Oleg, a dog more than a hand!

Fuck it...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88717
 23.10.2013
We sit in the office with the boss and drink tea. I have no place to throw a bag of tea at my table, I look at the neighbor too.
The manager tells the boss:
I have to buy three garbage cans.
What he answers quite well:
The company is finally growing.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №88716
 23.10.2013
I also doubt:

I doubt this:
A caterpillar on the road. I like to turn them out, then they slip to the other side. So I turned it, and then a girl I knew said:
Maybe she’s going to get her kids (unfortunately).
I first laughed, and then, walking 100 meters, I remembered that today is Mother’s Day.
I had to go back to get her back in the right direction!

— — —
The goose is a child. A mature insect that can have children is butterflies.
So you may have brought the disobedient child back home from the hustle trip. Then I turned back to the blade again.

— — — —
A healthy goose will never descend from its plant and will not float along the road and any other open place. All the goats you see crossing the road are usually infected with the larvae of the goat rider who eat the goat from within and change its behavior, forcing it to move where the larvae need to. You can conduct an experiment: plant such a goose in a bowl, and after a while the larvae will bite it and go out happy.
This is what I do... Husenice is already on the drum, where she is, she is doomed and deprived of almost all her inners. This is the truth of life.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №88715
 23.10.2013
XHH: At work I watched a picture: a girl in the search bar of Google killed the phrase Google.
XHH: We brought a new one today, and this is lvl-up. I went to Google to find Yandex in it to find a mail in it to go to mail to mail.
YYY: Epicvin Yes

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88714
 23.10.2013
The son is responsible for his father, and in the most direct way: he lives in the country that his father left him.

[ + 59 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88713
 23.10.2013
Who could think...
The case was in 1991. In one company, several familiar and unfamiliar young people met. Among them was Olya - a very beautiful girl, a master of sports, a champion of the field in shooting from a pneumatic pistol. And a cute shy young man Andrew.
They sat down, drank wine, ate shishki. Having noticed that Andrey was looking at her with loving eyes, Olivia stood up and announced that if Andrey was shooting better than her, she would immediately give up on him. And if not, then no.
Everyone who is present will be able to see it tomorrow in Tirol.
Well, how could she know that she offered such a bet to an instructor for the gun training of the GRU Special Forces of the USSR Armed Forces?! to
The point is not to underestimate people.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №88712
 23.10.2013
Galkin stopped greeting Kirkorov. It is necessary, at the wedding of Galkin and Pugacheva wish that they love each other and die in one day.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88711
 23.10.2013
In the text: "...parked nearby cars scattered by an explosive wave."
The number of parked cars is zero. None of one.

It is written: "Distributed".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88710
 23.10.2013
Long not to end - the dignity of the husband, not the speaker!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №88709
 23.10.2013
Today I have a student(s):
How to do the first task in physics?
(I) Yes, he asked Antha, he did.
Do you know the second?
(I) The second seemed like Katka did...
A computer science lab how to write?
(I) Ask the Vicky, he gave her today.
You and Google!
and??? to
You do not know the Nifga, but send it to the one who knows.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №88708
 23.10.2013
A strange interview of a boy whose father works at the NASA department and, according to the child, makes there light bulbs and toilet paper. Asked by the host why he thinks so, the boy honestly replied: "And he brings them from there every day.

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