bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88707
 23.10.2013
Discussion of the bike with a speedometer on the back:

Q: What if the current is 2 digits, what if I go down and I have a speed of 100?
Ugu, and three steel eggs

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88706
 23.10.2013
I am impressed by some people :) I call the work of the company for the reception of maculature, I call one: hello they say, and that's all. Are you such a company? In response, what do you have? I say - here, we choose a company to hand over the maculature. He says – Why? And really – why?

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №88705
 23.10.2013
I sit with my wife, next to a small boy (aged 4 years). The pregnancy of my brother’s wife. Small is driving. The older son comes (13 years old), speaks about the fact that it would not be at the NH to spend the night at home, but at the house in the company of friends and girlfriends. Small is driving.
The wife begins to read a lecture to the senior on the risks of such time-spending, reads overwhelmingly and with humor, all about the small have been forgotten.
But on the key phrase, pronounced in a loud voice: And remember, women are insidious! Forgotten by all, the little one raises his head, and even more loudly says: and pregnant!!! to

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88704
 23.10.2013
Video discussion with a disabled person.

1 - You left at the crossroads of the line
2 - Chevrolet Lanos passed under the red lighting signal
The cyclist had to cross a pedestrian crossing.
4 - kia from the meeting also on red
The pedestrian crossed the road in an inappropriate place and moved along the road.
BMW rolled out through 2 consecutive

And you are surprised by the invite who has healed!!!! to
36 Seconds on the Roads of Krasnodar

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №88703
 23.10.2013
XXX: I sit on the mattan, I solve the matrix. And you know what? They are not as cool as in the movie! It is all deception!
WOW: Well, mathematics in general has long ruined the child’s worldview.
WOW: I was disappointed in it when I learned in the sixth grade that the module is just a figure without a minus, and not a steep spacecraft at all.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №88702
 23.10.2013
The foolish penguin is hiding.
Light: smart – boldly gets it!
Intervision: where under the fresh patch
Intervision: and a fresh code

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №88701
 23.10.2013
Velhoor
From Japan:

- Remember how I confessed to you that I loved to suck puddles when I was a kid, and my mom mocked me for that?! And you shattered a huge snowball and raised up on one knee - Sweep, my queen, for good health!

Mifodiy (12:10:09 22/10/2013)
I remembered Annie.

Heather (12:10:20 22/10/2013)
Give it in poems.

Mifodiy (12:10:44 22/10/2013)
While all the girls learned to kiss tomatoes, the young Nastya trained on cucumbers. I did not miss...

Mifodiy (12:11:00 22/10/2013)

Heather (12:11:04 22/10/2013)
I said in poems.

Mifodiy (12:12:55 22/10/2013)
When the girls are young,
Tomatoes are understood.
A very young woman,
She made her way on the strawberries.

And here are the girls who are friends with tomatoes,
Philphak finished... Family with husbands, Home.
Not a young man anymore.
Success has its mouth.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88700
 23.10.2013
xxx: Well, like a throwback, have you met someone from the forum?
No, I did not meet. How will I recognize them? They don’t look like their avatars. And no one recognizes me, I am not a cat in a cooking cap either!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №88699
 23.10.2013
This is:

#22 2013-10-22 13:17
Ikea: Return to Old Traditions. 3 bedroom sofa.
The Tradition, Ch.

Very rare Russian traditions
1970, 100 years since the birth of V.I. Lenin. In the country, the agitation, everyone notes, takes increased social obligations to fulfill and over-execute. 1st furniture factory released a three-bed bed - "Lenin is always with us!"

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №88698
 23.10.2013
The boy came somehow from the warehouse to be fired. I make a calculation. A certain amount is charged on the table, the prize is not 100% because of the passes. Then I keep the tax, food in the dining room, food under the salary, special clothes... the salary goes down. I explain each number separately - I agree with everything) The outcome doesn't like it anyway)) stood up... Then he says - so killers and become. Dangerous work for a salary accountant.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №88697
 23.10.2013
There was a test at the lecture. Preponja is loathing, sitting on the headquarters and looking predatory to write. Here I saw another disgraceful student and spotted him through the whole audience. Voice from the room:
Goal is found!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №88696
 23.10.2013
There is a discussion of the article on procrastination in the lurk, in which, they decided that it would be necessary to write the article as soon as possible...

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №88695
 23.10.2013
A friend told me today:
I have a dog, Gavrila, a French Bulldog. So, Gavrila loves to eat headphones. He grabs out dynamics from them, and then cracks them out on the street. And my neighbors work at the Mariinsky Theatre. They then meet us on the street and say, “What kind of music dog do you have?”

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88694
 22.10.2013
Comments under the news about the release of the U.S. Army Android app for calling air support:
“Smith, have we just gone to Washington?! to
“Sorry Sir, I have a smartphone with a resolution of 320x240.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №88693
 22.10.2013
I read local news on the internet:
“In Saratov, a dog shot a man...” And then the advertisement: “the opening of the most modern center for the desertification of dogs”
A little bit of awareness of what happened.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №88692
 22.10.2013
@alisa_dorian: Childhood is a magical time when you can press a gun without a gun.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №88691
 22.10.2013
The real story. It was a week ago. A friend went to rest with his father for a week in Spain.
The next day, they got drunk, went up to their hotel floor and confused the rooms. A man and a grandmother are on the threshold. It seemed to us that someone was breaking into their room to steal things. The man was broken, the lady called local cops. They were taken to the local KPZ before investigation. They spent the night there.
The lawyer of the victim arrived. I began to find out – who are they? from where? Didn't the wife of the victim pay them for the punishment of her husband on the subject of betrayal?
My friend doesn’t speak Spanish, but my father knew... talked to a lawyer. It became clear that they drunk broke into a local deputy who came to the hotel to have fun with his mistress.
Father and son were released from the KPZ without charges. Each receives 2 euros for silence. A friend called to work, which takes another week at his expense :)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88690
 22.10.2013
A resident of California filed a lawsuit against the corporation for spontaneously downloading an image of iOS 7 on his device. He is upset that the file takes up useful space on the drives and demands to remove it, as well as compensate for the damage.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №88689
 22.10.2013
by Victoria: 16 And you?

Maxim: I’m already old... count) I finished universe in January)

Is it... 23?

Maxim to Bingo

See also T-DAM.

The old yes?

Victoria: Well why) My girlfriend has a cat of 21, and she doesn’t think it’s old.

Maxim: Of course, he did not end the universe! >_<

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88688
 22.10.2013
Video of how the expensive SUV drowned in the boiler. The first comment: "no bit is not painted, one master..."

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna