bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №86867
 11.09.2013
Message from a friend: Tamada gave me a whistle, told me to whistle whenever they were poured. I can’t whisper anymore, my legs are running out!! to
I: What are you whispering about?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №86866
 11.09.2013
I will be the womb of a poor man who worked all night. He wakes up tight.
I: Sereg, wake up Wake up Serena.
Member: MGM
I: Sereg, wake up Wake up Serena.
Member: MGM
I: Serge, I can’t go around you all morning, wake up. Otherwise, I will soon carry out a harsh massive attack.
The man massages.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №86865
 11.09.2013
The Habr. News: Chinese learn to “print” kidneys on a 3D printer
MaxH0: Hm... In the next century it will be possible to collect
A girl with spare parts.
zBit: And program it as you need it!
The main thing is not to forget about the navel!
CB9TOIIIA: And there USB input?))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №86864
 11.09.2013
A young man invited him to go to his friends for the weekend.
As a girl raised, and due to other planned matters - refused.
The MP was upset for refusing.
I was offended by the young man for being offended.
Because he is not.:D

You’re just the portrayal of a real girl.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №86863
 11.09.2013
At work came a aunt from the pension fund, speaking about the next upcoming reform. The rightful successors have the right to receive funds of pension savings in the event that the insured person does not live to death.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №86862
 11.09.2013
This is rhetoric!

The U.S. will not intervene in the war in Syria, but will strike a limited strike.

"I’m not going to fuck you, but I’m going to get a member into you"

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №86861
 11.09.2013
Match Russia - Israel
Commentary: It was a gol! Potential goal... But unfortunately, Kerzhakov did not hit the gate...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №86860
 11.09.2013
Now we have a cognac.
We have vodka.
We have two boxes.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №86859
 11.09.2013
A fat girlfriend is urgently needed for joint sports. I will feed for help in self-affirmation.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №86858
 11.09.2013
Working machine VAZ 2111. I removed the oven to clean. Weakly heated in winter. After the collection, there were 18 extra details. Such as screws, screws. We didn’t even find the right place for them. But now the stove is 3 times better and almost silent.
Conclusion: as always, the developers of the layout made the hernia, and we Russians reworked and did better.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №86857
 11.09.2013
I sell an iPhone 5S, a little bit. No documents and charging. The finger for biometric unlocking is attached.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №86856
 11.09.2013
The movement of thought in the womb of the brain ended in her miscarriage.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №86855
 11.09.2013
The 500 euro card is...

A free narrative of the incident that occurred with the singers of the Ukrainian choral chapel “Dumka” on December 8, 2007 in a southern French city.
By the tenth day of the tour in France, the supplies taken with them ended, and the artists demanded money from the leader of the ensemble to go to a local supermarket. They compiled a list of products, the manager, shaking his heart, issued a new 500 euro note, and in a long exhortative speech asked to handle the currency very carefully and economically.
The five biggest and hungry men went to the supermarket. We bought the products, put them in three carts, approached the box office. There is a young black woman sitting in the box, breaking everything in the box. The senior band, bass, stretches her a new note. But whether the cashier had never seen the 500-euro bills, or whether she had such instructions, but she thought the money was fake, and pressed the button under the box to call the guards. The guards came - two dirty blacks in smalted jeans, began to spit something on an African French speech, and one tried to tear out a 500-euro paper from his hands. Tenor, who knew everything about the dangers that guarded our tourists abroad, whispered loudly with a tragic voice: “Requeteurs!!!”
Oh the recetors! Well get it!
A couple of thumbs in the skull and the bottom, and after a few minutes, the secure lies on the floor, shouting with a gentle mat, so that they are not killed.
Meanwhile, a frightened supermarket manager called the police station, which was nearby, that buyers scandalized with staff. The divorce ended at the site, and the boss asked two officials already dressed in civilian clothes to look around on the way home to the store and put it in order.
By origin, these police officers were Algerian Arabs and looked like al-Qaeda and bin Laden.
When they entered the store, the tenor, who knew everything about the dark sides of the Wild West, cried out: “The recketers called for help!Ben Laden started screaming, al-Qaeda pushed the bass and tried to take a note from him.
A fight began, in which the police, who studied Jiu Jitsu, slowly gave up their positions to the dudochniks and fleetists - the countrymen of Klitschko.
The manager in panic called the city police department that they were attacked by the Russian mafia, let the local OMON be expelled. Five minutes later, whispering the brakes, a minibus stopped near the store, and 10 black-dressed special forcesmen jumped out of it: black armoured vests, black helmets with bulletproof glass removals, black machines with shortened trunks across.
Looking at the black doulas surrounding them, the bass leaned to the baryton and whispered:
That fifth must be given.
P.S The incident was cleared quickly and painlessly, the culprit was found to be the cashier.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №86854
 11.09.2013
The new head of the Accounts Chamber Golikova checked the spending of budget funds in the Ministry of Health for the period when it was headed by Golikova. Horrified by the results, Golikova decided to wait for the time when she was once appointed as the prosecutor-general. Then prosecutor Golikov will definitely put former minister Golikov where he should.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №86853
 11.09.2013
For two years, Sanka proved to everyone that he would be a space explorer. We explained to him that we did not have space intelligence... a couple of years ago (I don’t remember exactly) we created such troops in the country... a campaign specifically for our Sanki.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №86852
 11.09.2013
Day of the City in Kursk:

And I would also like to have the worst official elected by the people on this day. And on this day, you can beat it with a wet cloth. And he, without leaving the boundaries of the city, would squeeze with a GPS beacon. Everyone was looking for him and having fun.
And tomorrow, he was forgiven, greeted and missed from the secondary road.

P.S "I want to play this game"(c)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №86851
 11.09.2013
XXX I am a girl. I do not want to think. I want a dress, socks and sleep.

XXX is A! More worldwide and big breasts

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №86850
 11.09.2013
I, by the way, went to Beckhambet!and :)
Really, 12 years ago.
In the advertisement of chocolate “Mars”.
in the massive (


[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №86849
 11.09.2013
xxx: The imprint is pop technology, horror in terms of sex. It is much easier to bypass than a password, usually a fat cup of scotch and powder is enough.
yyy: Without a tail before “Scottish” the phrase acquires an aristocratic shade...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №86848
 11.09.2013
Again Samara news:"A gunman was found to be responsible for the crash of wagons with a trottle near Chapaevsky"
Thank you Cap. and :)

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