bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №86507
 04.09.2013
Why do you "Fundamentals of Orthodox Culture" walk?
The end of the quarter is already, and you have a rating - between epithymia and anathema!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №86506
 04.09.2013
Sometimes you meet a person who has everything well: things go up the mountain, he develops, he achieves the goals set, and everything somehow turns out like he... Here you look at him and think, “Hey, if it wasn’t my laziness, how much would I have already done, how much would I have achieved?And you immediately realize that not everything is lost now, you just have to start doing something. And it inspires so much! I was so excited at once, I came up with something in my head, I set goals... And here you are all in the process, you are sailing on your ship to the shores of well-being and the wind of luck fills the sailing as suddenly, completely unceremoniously, absolutely naughtyly, LEN invades you...

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №86505
 04.09.2013
Q: What is your new one?
WOW: Well, in that she was a concerned pervert I finally convinced, after on my innocent question "Do you want to drink juice?" she made a cute face, and asked "From whom?"
XH: O_o

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №86504
 04.09.2013
We have a joke...
In the toilet, I don’t know what a stranger, confused the tubes of hot water and cold water.
now in the bathtub of boiling water... you sit on the toilet, and he "heats your soul"))))

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86503
 04.09.2013
Announcement of a temporary power outage for today.
Hanged...
Thou shalt go!! to
in the elevator
Inside
at the doors
Again the Taddam!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №86502
 04.09.2013
...
by Katya:
In my student years, I used to hit the wall with a cover from a pot of bolts. I didn’t have a hammer, nails, or screwbacks.)
...
The Bolt? Crypton still exists.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №86501
 04.09.2013
It’s business in Russian! At a time when the spacecraft roam the big theater, the bank's mail server refuses to accept the investment of 12 MB! The Federal Bank, which lends to industry and construction, wants to receive scans of documents strictly in pdf. But it does not accept these pdfs entirely - the federal bank in its headquarters in Moscow has a narrow channel.
1: and judging by the logs, the slow internet and the limitation on the size of attacks only in large and solid organizations and remained
Poorness for a horse’s price is like a vertu. It is solid.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №86500
 04.09.2013
xxx : hello to you :)
YYY: HOW DO YU DO?
XXX: The Fan
xxx: here is the fucking
Is this fucking me?
All of you fucking fuck me :(

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86499
 04.09.2013
A very stupid situation. I found an advertisement for the sale of a tail on avito. And now I understand that I have to call an absolutely unfamiliar person and arrange a meeting, to which I will come with money, and he will come with a tail.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №86498
 04.09.2013
XXX:...you better tell me the optimal length of the suits suitable for you.

YYY: XXX, 50cm as appropriate))

XXX: YYY, OK I put it. :)

ZZZ: Two grown-up uncles chop a half-meter. Keep in mind, citizens

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №86497
 04.09.2013
Customers of our office have sent complaints to Jack with the wording ‘doubt the qualifications of our specialists’.
Stupid, Jack has no doubts about the qualifications of your professionals. Jack is absolutely convinced of their misery, helplessness and absolute incompetence.
And Jack is ready to repeat it under oath or swear it on the Bible.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №86496
 04.09.2013
How do you do a million seconds?
Q. Am I not cute?

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №86495
 04.09.2013
You are Bambi.
Why is?
– Well... Bambi – it sounds good... And the little dumb deer isn’t very...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №86494
 04.09.2013
I’m going to doom the compass. Use of sclerosis.
– and?? to
- if there are only two memory slots on the motherboard, and there are only 256M plates, then, believe me, these are sclerosis plates!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №86493
 03.09.2013
This is me and the cat. One of us has a birthday today. The cat was born in November.
yyy: It resembles the tests on logical thinking in Science and Life. The cat was born in November, the aquarium fish do not smoke, the clock is in front of the TV. Who am I?"

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №86492
 03.09.2013
to this:

It’s really silly when you’re in the toilet and you can’t decide which side to apply to the toilet.

This condition is described by the phrase "Front the pelvis, behind the toilet". It is a council at the same time.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №86491
 03.09.2013
to this

xxx: everything has come to its place - according to the horoscope of the Indians, I am a deer.

I decided to look at myself. It was better not to look at it. The whole process has ruined me, fool.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №86490
 03.09.2013
Zombiracer: the habit of disconnecting wifi before the game earned on android (so there is no advertisement) submissively ask me to forgive and not drive out of the raid.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №86489
 03.09.2013
[xxx] don't have to calculate me, I will give you my iPad, 127.0.0.1
[yyy] I can't remember more than 3 numbers in a row... and you also divided them by points for some reason...
[xxx] and so on. The first point is a decimal. The second is hundreds. The third is a thousand. This is an ordinary thousandth fraction. They are now in 3 class.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №86488
 03.09.2013
News of Sport:
...Schtiglitz will defend his belt against the Nigerian Expo...
For some reason, the imagination paints only black hands stretching toward
The new form of standard officer :)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna