Abroad listened to the conversation of a tourist (s) with an animator (A), not badly knowledge of Russian.
Animators walk around the hotel in the morning from a hard buck, a tourist asks him:
T: What did you note?
A: Yes, again these Russians in the club cocktails pumped.
T: Ah... I understand, the northern light (who doesn’t know, it’s vodka and champagne).
A: No, I haven’t tried it, but what is it?
T: Well, if they suggest, run away immediately.
A:...
T: Well, you know there are poems in Nekrasov "There are women in Russian forces, their grandmothers are gently called, the elephant on the move will be stopped and his hood will be torn off".
The animator rushes from poems.
T: So the Northern Light was invented to stop them.

by Yurik

An anonymous source in the Russian intelligence services said that Malaysian airline Boeing passengers are alive and are under Kandahar. According to him, the target of the plane, carried out by the Pakistani terrorist, were 20 Asian specialists, who are held in a bunker on the Afghan-Pakistan border. The capture of Chinese specialists was needed by criminals to trade with Beijing or Washington. The other passengers are in Afghanistan. The aircraft is now standing with a broken wing on the ground road, where it made a hard landing.

Tell your source not to lie, we all know that they were eaten by the Langolers.

The grandmother will be offended if we do not name the child in honor of the grandfather ((( she saw all her life dreamed of honoring his memory
WOW: What is the problem?
The fact that we now pray to all the gods that a girl would be born, the grandfather of this was called Kalistrat!!! to

But quotes with interesting names are also good, continue.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:
My daughter's name is simple and uncomplicated - Masha.
But in Hebrew, the question ‘ma sha’ means ‘what hour is it?’
And one day in the park, a local lady raised her eyebrows when she heard me call the baby.
and her daughters were called Gas, Pas and Das))))))

23:50 by Anton
Tomorrow at 8?

7:33 by Alexander
by DA

The buried pig helps in building mosques, but what should be buried in the ground to stop building churches?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
The option, of course, but I suspect that if you can catch and bury the real Christ, then the churches will start building you. So what the church is, Satan himself will begin to serve you.
Zzz: leave Christ alone, bury the best of the popes.

A script for the film:

I was in Cuba last year.
The guide told us all the ears on the excursion about Che Guevara, who with the help of a bulldozer stopped the armored train. In fact, the historic bulldozer stands on the standing in Santa Clara (if I don’t confuse anything)... Everything turned out to be prosaic: the bulldozer broke the rails before the arrival of the armored train. But how wildly you want to watch a film, directed by Rodriguez, in which Che Guevara, performed by Antonio Banderas (and no one else) heroically (and La Rambo on a tank against a helicopter) carries a armored train with a bulldozer. But unfortunately...

The first trailer of the football-porno comedy "The cook on the wheels""

by Paul Yegorchenkov▼
The story of the chela who cookes well and eb*t everyone in the trailer

by Ilya Leontyev▼
Foot-porno thriller is a story about a man who prepares well and eats everyone in the trailer, and then prepares them well.

Dmitry Moshkov▼
Food-porno-three-horror: the story of a chela who cookes well and fucking everyone in the trailer, and then cookes them well, and then fucking what he has cooked.

by Ilya Leontyev▼
Food-porno-three-horror-tock show: the story of a chela who prepares well and ebt everyone in the trailer, and then cookes them well, and then ebt what he has prepared and after all this tells in detail how and what to cook and in what positions to fuck. And given the fact that he is on the trailer, every time the transmission from a new city or country, the features of the local cuisine, the most iconic colour, all things.

Baalin, swimming in a public swimming pool in the family - the wildest baseball. These huge eggs waving on the waves behind the “athlete” even shaken my psyche.

The Habr. Curiosity photographed a mysterious bright light on Mars.

ffffffffff: It disturbs that mysterious glow at the level of the horizon, i.e. The “beaten” pixel of the matrix happens to be in a certain place.

El_gato: This is the Opportunity for him.

Once such a drunkard on the subject of the Russian language, I will tell the most epic story about how one day, as a shabby, I made a visit card for a lady. And she was not who, but the entire commercial director of the company. She called me, described the task in general, and all the contact details for the layout and the list of wishes promised to send by mail. and sent it. Among other things in her letter was a request that hanged me for five minutes: "and at the bottom of the wheel with a graphic emphasis write..."
I did not understand the niqab from the first time and at first I even thought that I probably did not know something about the design of the polygraphy. What is this "colle chart"? Any unfamiliar innovative nanotechnology printing? Any fashion effect like a congress or a thermal lift? So, all the clients already know about it and demand it all, and I missed everything out of sight?
Slowly, panic and doubts about their professional ability began to rise.
It was only here that I arrived.

Five copies in a bowl. When I was studying at the institute, we had one practitioner, labs led. We and my partner (they were given for two) quickly did everything, and by the middle of the semester we all gave up. But the Prep said that we should come to the labs anyway. To the quite logical question - nahuja, if there is nothing else to do anyway? - There was an answer, well you come, I will mark you and you can leave. The first pair. What idiotism is it to get up two hours earlier, to move to the other end of the city, just to celebrate and two hours to pin the hoes? We naturally scored, so we also wanted to reduce the rating for the cursor, I scratched my well-deserved five with my teeth.
And don’t say that the ability to do a dull, obviously meaningless job is useful at work – if so, then fuck that job.

XXX: How do you have an interesting time there?
yyy: Bad ((I have hysterics, crying / wrath and eating marinated tomatoes...
The man has not escaped.
YYYYYYYYYYYYY
xxx: Did you tie him to the notebook with tanks?
A note to the battery.

phantom_psih is there
yarl_of_kindom: an asshole
phantom_psih: and I say telepathy exists
yarl_of_kindom: and I’m talking nonsense
13th_Ka7aHe4: I don’t know who of you is right, but every spring, at least, every third girl, when I look at her fifth point, turns around. It’s about me, no matter what perspective I look at.

The husband broke out Geiger's counter and walks with him all night around the apartment, barking, measuring radiation in different places. He slipped into the cat pot and said so surprisedly: "Oh, here even absorbs, the numbers are smaller than steel."
WOW : I understand. In the event of a nuclear war, I will put my head in a cat’s bowl.

Again from Hubble.
Albert_73, April 9, 2014 at 14:44#
The Martian Chronicles.

The corner of science.

After several attempts to determine the presence of intelligence in a strange, artificial object that has recently fallen on our planet, namely, the deliberate movement of stones in front of its supposedly lenses, the radiation of laser instructions to attract attention, the mixing of unexpected chemical impurities in the soil samples that the object is trying to analyze, it was decided to consider the object an accidental phenomenon of nature, a funny, natural artefact, but no more, and to stop any attempts to contact it, due to the obvious lack of intelligence, which is also confirmed by the extremely low, almost natural level of technologies that could be used by its creators. This is the third such object to fall on our planet. The government no longer intends to fund attempts to contact the so-called “foreign civilization.”

This c is:
It is good to have a Chinese car. All spare parts are original :)

As a former owner of a Chinese truck, I can say that the prices for these original ones are higher than for Korean ones.

In the fairly well-known and authoritative German club ADAC released a rating of cheap cars. I will not hesitate to add this pearl to my hit-parade of stupid ratings.
The fact is that our Lada Kalina participates in the rating. Which, of course, is the worst of all. Even worse than the Romanian version of Logan. Everyone knows that.
But the frescoes need to be somehow clearly reflected in the rating. And their rating is a simple sum of points from 0 to 5 on several private indicators (safety, comfort, price, environmentality, etc.). They put the worst points wherever they could. But on two parameters, the technique pumped - for capacity and price, Lade had to put the highest points. After all, their German readers are not entirely fools, they are able to see that Lada is larger than any Western microliter for that money. Anyone can look at the price anywhere. And so it turned out that Lada got 15 points in the sum, which is no worse than the same Matisse and Panda.
How to be? The descendants of Goebbels were not confused. They simply took and arbitrarily removed from the final rating of Lada 5 points to get 10. Much worse than any other brand. After all, no one will sit with a calculator and check the tablet.
And in the event that there is such a tough - put a slope - it is said, for poor safety. But you have already taken this into account and put "0" in the table for this parameter...?

I will add:

I add :

The XXXX:
Do you say that fat people should fly on airplanes at a higher price than thin ones? well well. I have a cousin. greedy to bitterness. He was serious about the injustice of the world. Namely, why in paid toilets people write and cuddle at the same price
— — —
And here they discussed a girl who did not want to overpay for clothes and rings, which are supposed to have the same price for all sizes. I think they should get married.)

You are what! They will begin to multiply. And the first thing they will do is require that the amount of maternity capital depends on the weight of the baby.

The cat, playing, chases around the habitat.
Cat, why are you wearing it?
Shilo in the ass.
Not a shell, but a shell. The cat is still small.
Shilo is big.