I call my sister to congratulate her on her birthday, in the process of congratulating, I ask:
Who was the first to congratulate?
Stasiak (a two-month old son) At two o’clock he decided to congratulate me. In his cry, I heard “Mother, go here, I’ll congratulate you” until four o’clock.
and persistent ?
And then...

x> Why do I have so many tablespoons in my cup?
Y> Because you haven’t washed it for a long time...
y> and there the spots split.

iddqd899: Kiev is a beautiful city. Better than Moscow. There are no hachees, warm summer, mild winter, no hachees, roads are relatively good, many theaters, cinemas, no hachees, concerts and various events on the coastline, there are no hachees, people are pleasant, good and inexpensive restaurants, every weekend walks on the Chreščatik, in general, everything for people - even hachees are not.

@...The cat is kidding at you at all, you are a life support system for him.

Well, no, our cat is an extremely frightening creature.
If someone does not sleep at home, he is walking around the house all the time, whispering and looking closely at the rest in the eyes. And if no god let someone talk to someone in elevated tones, a poor cat crawls between them with crazy eyes and slightly bites the arguments on their legs until they calm down.
It seems to me that if we leave him alone at home for at least a day, he will go crazy of worrying that we are not under his supervision. And suddenly we will do something, and he will not be there. So we never leave him alone.

Yyy: Yes, I got poisoned here... With all the consequences, so to speak :(

They have houses with holes in hell, and in Sevastopol, on the move, two streets are cursed!
The intersection of the streets of Lenin and Pushkin: the central department of the mining, the SBU, the military custody, the court, the department for issuing certificates on foreign passport, the s@ka, which is forever at lunch or with dependent programs, the post office and the ta-daam branch of the Sberbank of Russia!
and bingo!! to

A man raped a horse to conceive a centaur.

The Hussar Revenge!

We sit with a friend in the chaikhane "Uryuk cafe".
Well, as usual, tread about women, football and politics :-)
And under the chopsticks consumed red.
Well, and the conversation flows smoothly into a toast (although young, but old intellectuals - without a toast does not absorb):
I suggest drinking for sex.
My friend: Come on! for him! (After the pause) Not choking...

The Odyssey is the oldest text about the return of a husband from a business trip.

If you listen to a song, you think that the words "your" and "with you" are replaced by "your". The song gets a light shade of drug addiction. It gives +50 to mood, but also +30 to a stupid smile, so be careful.

Four cups of beer, please.
The waitress:
- To be cheaper, you can take in a pot of one and a half liters... then you need pots... (a very long pause). That’s why I work here!

Nev: I sit in Lefortovsky Park, under a tree, I drink Suzdal honeymoon on a Friday evening, I unite with nature, I read the newspaper “Do not return and do not steal!” There is a bitch making a movie. Love as it turns out. The girl suits: Young man, we are making a movie, and..." Here’s my star hour, I think, the perfect typing, the main role, success!!! And here "seat, please, you get into the frame". The Cucks

A friend has a problem with housing, and he moved to work for a while. This is an ordinary office building. He has lived for three weeks. He writes today:
Fuck my brother, I have shut up!! to
Which one?
I went into all the toilets in all the cabins on all the floors, for boys and girls.! to
I can’t imagine what to answer to that.)

Tell me, at least somebody will take the site of the Russian public initiative seriously and the anti-piracy proposals that there are so actively put forward, while in the list of voting initiatives hangs, for example, the ban on the sale of sandwiches without oil.

We sit at work, we smoke hard (we go out to smoke on the clock, which is specially hanging on the wall) began to retreat these clocks (batteries sat down) well we removed them, the bosses come in - why did they remove the clock? I am behind. N. So I wanted to scream: The walls are dirty!!! But I said: From Greenwich. N. and?? I thought I would be fired.

XXX is fun!

The shield?

XXX is my sister! It should have been in the push to leave a scanword with a pen! I barely got my ass off!! to

You are my intellectual ?

I am from a generation that writes emoticons using double-edge.

My neighbor speaks on the phone:
When I was a child, I was a Donatello ninja turtle, so I can't help with a stick.

Saints Row 4 Super Dangerous Wad Wad Edition sold for $1 million
Per the most expensive boxed version of the game in the world was presented by the publisher Deep Silver. Saints Row 4 Super Dangerous Wad Wad Edition is sold for $1 million.
The Super Dangerous Wad Edition package includes a week's rest at Dubai's most prestigious hotel, a week at Jefferson Hotel in Washington DC, Lamborghini Gallardo and Toyota Prius cars, a model of a dabe-step gun, participation in hostage rescue and espionage training, a suborbital flight on a Virgin Galactic aircraft, plastic surgery, a personal helicopter, first-class airplane tickets and some other little stuff. Saints Row 4 Super Dangerous Wad Wad Edition is sold in a single copy.

They don’t joke about advertising.)

The daughter in the first will go)) Well I too)) Today asks me " Mom, and what is hypotenuse?"..I answer..."The cut that connects the 2 sides of the triangle, which are called cathetes") I thought the theorem of Pythagoras to lump.. changed my mind.. I ask "And why do you?".." And grandmother always says...I will break your hypotenuse") Well I sat there))