I am a webmaster. Excerpt from a conversation with a dear client (dama) to whom I make a website:
...
Q: What kind of computer do you have?
The MacBook Pro!
I : Oh you! Iron or plastic?
K is iron! Grey is like that. What about CHO?
Q: We left the topic. On the site between the pictures only 4 mm, and they themselves are 9.1 x 6.4 cm. That is a lot!! I do not like that!
I: (I understand that he sits and watches the line to the monitor) Now we’re back. It is very important to know! What is the screen length? (I’m getting my wife’s Macbook from the shelf)
See also: 33,6
I: From the edge to the edge of the cover or from the edges of the black line? (I quickly consider and attach the line to the MacBook monitor - approximately 33.6 - the length of the cover)
K: From the end!
I: It is great! (It is just... the answer.) Let’s continue to make the site. So, how many millimeters should you make between the images?
Q: Let’s try 12.2 It will be good.

Further creation of the site took place with a line in hand and two compasses (my Aymak 27 and my wife's MacBook). Two days later, when my brain stopped blinking, I was already able to navigate freely in this coordinate system.

Today, the employee brought a 7-year-old child to work. Mother is gone, the child is on vacation, the child has nowhere to go.
She went and gave: Daddy, when will the work start? (We have been working for an hour)
He: It has already started.
She: so here one works, the others talk and drink coffee (real drinking for an hour)
They talk about work.
She: And when they talk, will they also work?

The child looks at the root :D

I go to town with my parents. We pass by the cafe. This conversation continues:
M is hm. Interesting is. Coffee "Narnia" is called.
Is there an entrance through the closet?
P: The chronicles are gathering!

Post from 2012-07-09
Russia burned last summer. Russia is sinking this summer.
Yyy: There will be something with copper tubes next year!
-------------------------------
Will it be banned due to copyright infringement?

Will we go to sea this year?! to
Your teachers will go to the sea.

I stand in the morning at the subway, drinking yogurt from a small bottle. Undermines the alkomen of a characteristic appearance and began:
Do you add 5 rubles?
–...
5 rubles for water. I want to drink...
Exactly on water?
Not for water, but for beer.
Beer in the morning is bad.
What about you, sorry? Well, at least five... well, very much!
Have you tried working?
Oh wow...
- On - take my empty bottle from under the yogurt in the urn - I will pay 5 rubles.
(the urna is 12 steps away from me, then I counted)
What are you offering me?
and work. Throw out a bottle, you will earn 5 rubles.
Pause
He – for whom do you accept me?!...

And proudly left!

Ni is

Talk to a friend (P)

I: get the time to download your favorite music - 1 August torrents will be covered (
A: Fucking
Q: Thank you for saying
I: I sit and crawl. The external therapist.
Q: I lack space on the disk:
P: Yes it is. Fuck the summer jackets! I buy a tough one!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You are now in the army.
YYY: YYYYYYY
You are now in the army.

Listen here to what it is like.
Two related offices. Me and the boss. He has a condom, I don’t have it.
And then he takes a healthy fan out of his office - the mouth interferes, takes the place.
And in the street of the heat-spirit, huli, here I put it for myself. The chef saw, and how the voice of the animal "this is my fan!". I took it back to myself. Here I look at him, and he has the condie and this dewey working at the same time...

This is the true blasphemy.

XXX: Do you love me?
YYY: No
XXX: Well, I have to say!
YYY: already

----but the driving is not there, it is not the mistake of the novice, it is the karma of the fool--
Hey, master of riding, evaluate your experience: sit on a length meter with two trailers and take back exactly at least 10 meters. Feel a fool. So newcomers are not immediately oriented to where when driving behind the wheel to turn, not all fathers from childhood are taught, not all in motor schools pay due attention.

I love my old gadgets and my old technology. My old player only turns off when I come home. My old phone only uncharges when I can charge it. And my old computer broke down only when I finished writing my diploma.

to this:
In connection with the adoption of the law on insulting the feelings of believers, I had a question. Atheism is a kind of belief that there is no God. So, can an atheist appeal to the court about the fact that the built temples daily offend his feelings, and demand either the demolition of all the temples, or lifetime material compensation from the RPC? and :)
— — —
You know, as an atheist, I can assume that there will be no such statements because atheists are far more normal people than believers, they will not do such nonsense.

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Crash test of the car:
I expected a better result...
I also went to the elections...

At the crossroads of Karl Marx and Artem, a man on a motorbike stood on a dew and shattered his grandmother from behind.

The Logan Signal
The big finger showed :D
and upset

– It’s like this... the clever word was... well, not a philanthropist, it’s... of bushes.
The exhibitionist?
No, he is watching.
The Voyeurist!

He received a programming diploma, in the resume indicated "little experience". In personal qualities he added that I know how to cook.
For the third month, I worked as an assistant chef at a restaurant at a four-star hotel.

Wisdom is the most precious thing in the world... You pay for it with time, health, family and loved ones.

Inventive machinery

Not to say that it is funny, just in a pile of original solutions in a banal situation.
Moscow Serpukhov Electric. Friday, evening, people go to nature, the wagons are full of passengers quite tightly. In spite of the open windows, in the train there are hot spots and spirits, who wipes the sweat from the forehead with a sleeve, who flaps with a newspaper. Drunk young people of the hypnotic kind decided to apply their method of ventilation - an empty beer bottle blocked the doors. The high-speed communications mechanic announces that the train will not go until the doors are opened, the cops do not react, crack, blow cigarettes, hold a bottle in the door. The announcement "police patrolling the train, go through the N-th wagon" does not convince anyone, everyone has long known that it is a bluff and in fact there is no policeman in the train. The assistant of the engineer, who usually goes out and solves such issues, either does not - in modern trains he is replaced by automation, or he is just lazy to drag into the end of the train through the sweaty crowd. Passengers discuss "this drunk," but do not interfere, the general opinion that the drunken sea on the knee, can and fight. The train is a couple or three minutes away. The culmination. The driver opened the doors, they opened completely. “Attention, dear passengers, if the races from the N-th wagon, delaying departure, do not leave the train, I will turn on the heating of the wagons and do not turn off until the end of the route, I repeat, if.....” (from the place of the accident to Serpukhov to drive almost an hour and a half). No need to repeat the third time. A couple of people in the wagon raised a noise on the subject of "what x...", and ten seconds later, the crowd that had crashed into the tambour, the mating gopniks who tried to whip their fists, together with their bottle, were pushed out onto the platform.