Iren: I am excited to tell Mashe about the specificity of WOW
Iren: You know, there are conflicting factions: the Alliance and the Horde. Here our Renat plays for the Horde, and I for the Alliance.
Maria (with understanding): Well, a man named Renat was obliged by God himself to be... historically it was :)

From their numerous sketches and heard American jokes, you can write them such an anecdote.

How many Americans are needed to turn a light bulb?
No one, they call the electric.
Isn’t he an American electric?
No to Mexican.

@userdie: Dear guests of the capital, respect our cultural traditions! We accept that menta beats citizens, not vice versa.

I was driving drunk in the subway home. I made a transplant on the ring (prospect of the world) through 4 stations I need to go out. Sitting in the car like a camouflage, through the dream I hear the train starts to brake, my mind controls everything, I start to strain my ear to understand where I am going, everything is under control.
I hear - carefully the doors are closed next station Riga, I think you can still sleep, time passes, I again exacerbate the hearing - carefully the doors are closed after the station Riga, I think you can still stick, after some time again the same. I start to get stressed in the middle of the dream.
Again, the train brakes, cautiously announce the doors closing the next Riga station. I made it, how did I get a fool?
What a dishonor is going on to cheat, what a joke of a fox, a bubble of hooks I think, I get up in all my height ready to go out to squeeze these demons, I look around... and I sleep in the subway on the bench on the platform.

Archont: Calling the bug now - does not work 1st.
arxont: I’m starting to ask what they were doing – "I had a flash on here. But she did not work. I tested it on three computers. Other flashes work. I just got out"
argont: minus HASP key

XXX: The thought came to my head. Here is an army-place where there are no babies. It would be a shit on earth without them.

The conversation of colleagues.

I got a paper for the fax and watched it personally.
In the department where the administrators and repairmen sit, a girl who only went to work on Monday (new). With the system in hand. Young and sluggish until the dawn.
From the department where the program has already been "treated" a few times with the NumLock button and with the outgoing cable calls "us_nothing_works_come_and_do_shop_worked".
She came and said:
You know, here the conders on the motherboard swelled up and the food block is somehow heating up. Do you?"

In the Red Book!

Spam has arrived. "Style for 399 rubles"
Judging by the price, it appears to be a hint on the mouth.

Modern programming languages must have a built-in Chuck Norris method.
which returns the data you need from any object, even if it is not there.

volfy: The situation is banal but please help, there is a computer, put SQL on it, downloaded the database, set up the web client, everything works.... But from another comp in the network to this comp can not connect, I write the same 127.0.0.1 and the base cluster) What I did not scroll?

SnarkHunter: 127.0.0.1 It is five

XX: Yes, but you will cover everything you need.
yyy: It is no longer "all you need", it is overdose and drug addiction)
xxx: "Overdrawal and Drug Addiction" - a good name for Hendrix X_X biography

Sanitos_Vulgaris: by the way, in time they want to ban mothers on the internet))))
Sanitos_Vulgaris: because after a non-working router there will be a lot of them...

I am not 18 yet. In the store, the seller asks for a passport. And in the hospital (children's) doctors ask: "Man, where is your child?"

The first thing that always comes to mind is stupidity.

We were lost on our river all day long. It was especially good in the summer, and swimming, and fishing, and just sitting on the shore, watching the boats passing by.
Our shore was high, some places rocky, but the rocks were steady, lime probably. In short, erosion did its job, and sometimes the rocks from these rocks collapsed, crushing the curved trees on the slope along the way, and crashing down the bottom, adding a new configuration to our beach.
We walked on these stones, not paying much attention to them. Stones and stones. And then came to the river to swim one boy from our school, by nature very attentive and curious.
Here is. And somehow we sit on the shore, sunbathing, and he slips something behind our backs, on the rocks of stones. Then he approached, in his hand, a fraction, white, flat, shows us and says, “Here I found, this is a dinosaur’s tooth.” We knew who the dinosaurs were. There was a fantasy snub in his hands. But immediately they told him firmly, tell me, don't be foolish, where do we have the dinosaurs here, throw it out, and go better to dive.
The boy replied that there these bones lie a lot above his height, and tomorrow he will take that tooth to school to a biologist. It was summer then, but almost all of the teachers were still sitting in place, we had a job, I don’t remember now.
The next day, when they came to the river, they found this archaeologist on the same slope with a potato bag. On our sluggish question, well, how there, he told me that the teacher was in shock, said that this bone was at least sixty-five million years old, that I would have a biological fifth in a quarter, and that I would get him now.
The next day, when they came to the river, they found this archaeologist again on the slope, and more interested asked, well, how there, he replied that the biologist could not take everything, there is not enough space in the office, and offered to take the rest to the regional museum. Now I’ll pick them up again, he gladly announced.
The next day, when they came to the river, this boy was sitting happy on the shore, grumbling from the sun, and relentlessly eaten plombier. Well, how there, we already asked excitedly. Yes is normal. Everyone took them to the museum, said they would send a letter of thanks to the school, and gave them more money. of 10 rubles.
This news flew across the beach at the speed of a pterodactile. The school, resting on the right, did not regret the school on the left.
The next day, the dark guard of the landscape museum from six o’clock in the morning chased the boys who sat at the door, with bags, business bags, backpacks, upstairs filled with bones. At least two iguanadons in spare parts they brought him.
When at ten o’clock, sweating and finally driving out all, he sat down on the bench to rest and smoke, the gate, opened his leg, entered three of our main school hooligans. They, as the tallest and strongest, brought to the museum a pearl of the then failed collection. Only one bone. But what. One carried her in front, the other in the back, and the third helped them in the middle, so that they were not accidentally abandoned.

The West has seriously thought, are the Russians living badly, if Europe breaks their heads for days to pull Greece and Spain out of the crisis, America is fighting with tornadoes and typhoons, Asia on the brink of the Korean War, the Middle East and Africa are literally crushed by interethnic and religious conflicts, and only in Russia for a few days all the talk about whether it was that squid weighing 21 kg?

Pope Francis has promised not to condemn priests for their unconventional orientation, reports Corriere della Sera. “If a gay man is looking for God and his intentions are pure, who am I to judge him?”

Could not guess?

from Yandex News
Klitschko clashed with Chisora in a nightclub in Ibiza
According to the newspaper, the Englishman provoked the Ukrainian to fight with his remarks in his address. The guard quickly responded to the fight and stopped it.
How, fucking, the guard stopped the fight of two superheavy?! to

Like any "bull" from the knee / thigh between the legs, then either face to knee, or thigh to thigh.
Pavlik has been a nightclub security guard for 8 years.

WHO proposes to establish "critical days" in non-working women
I sit here, I think.
and
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh :-)

Wow that. That we have monthly - we may not work, right? And you?
Wow Prikin, you call such a boss in the morning - "Sorry, the boss, I stand - I will not go to work today!"
And so through the floor - hour - "Boss! All in order! I am going!"
Well, or in 12 seconds.... :(
Why don’t you ask me about my date yesterday? and (

P.S A tired person behind the computer after work will not help. As my father always said, "I am tired? Go to bed!"

There is one unpleasant shit - a tired person often wants to "stretch", even if he falls asleep. Diversify the impression of life. Sleep is not very involved in this and often people are almost dying, looking at houses of all kinds or reading (shock me!) of Donetsk. " is tired? Go to sleep! is the logic only of those few wise people who know that rest is also work. Recovery of forces.