bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №74967
 28.12.2012
Laboratory work on SCH:
Q: What is the laboratory installation made up of?
C is from atoms.
P: OO

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №74966
 28.12.2012
Twenty-first: The wife guesses the scanword, the word horizontally does not fit, although she is sure that she picked up the right 100%. He calls me. I am lazy to approach, I say: Well, you check the word on the vertical, maybe there is a mistake!
There is no mistake!! to
What is there?
Shit, will you come or not?? to
I fit. I see: the word of four letters, the famous American actor Mickey... and the beautiful handwriting of his wife is written MAUS!!! to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №74965
 28.12.2012
By the way, about advertising. And no one is surprised how Sber breeds the Olympic gods, offering to first put all the money under 8% to save, and then gives a New Year's loan for 13.5% And after all, they are happy "Well like children"))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №74964
 28.12.2012
Well Peter, I congratulate you on the first winter rain!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №74963
 28.12.2012
Real advertisement in our newspaper.The phone number is not specified, but unfortunately (literally):
A young man without education, specialty and desire is looking for a job. Are you happy now, Mom?"

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74962
 28.12.2012
How the new hair made, so he did not notice!And as the bumper on the car scratched, so he ran out to meet me in some cowards!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №74961
 28.12.2012
Step tension - when you need to walk somewhere, and you are stressed.

[ + 52 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74960
 28.12.2012
I work in a car salon, a couple came to us - a husband and wife. Choose the car. to him. They walk, they look. Finally, he determined with the model, asks his wife:
Do you like it? Do you approve?
And she to him:
- You take the car for yourself, for your money, so buy what you like, I don't understand them at all.
So I decided to joke and say:
But then he will choose your car and also buy what he likes.
She smiles, shakes her hands and says:
“Oh no, you guys, I even manage to collect all the pillars on the road on a bicycle, put me behind the car – I’ll shoot someone in the first week. We agreed with him that he would then buy me a dishwasher (and all this was said without sarcasm).
Here are the respectable women.
Some of you know how to ride, but for the first time I saw one who was able to admit it!!! to
Pussy: Man, if you suddenly read this, know how lucky you are with your wife.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74959
 28.12.2012
The Scriptural Truth:
There is more truth on sites about prostitutes than on sites about decent girls.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №74958
 28.12.2012
Stupidity is not so noticeable under the gold jewelry.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №74957
 28.12.2012
I stand on the light. With me, on the neighboring lane, the red "Ford C-max" is equal. A thirty-year-old blonde was driving. On the hood, next to the courtyards lies a dirty wallet. I start sensitively signaling to attract her attention – zero effect. I open the window:

You have a wallet on the hood.
What is?
A wallet on the hood, I say.
OOO OOO!

He jumped out of the car, his eyes rounded even more. He grabbed him, jumped into the car and said goodbye to me from the window:

Thank you huge! I lost it a week ago, I thought it was stolen!

and leaves...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №74956
 28.12.2012
A nice girl doesn’t rub your nose when you accidentally break out your mother’s word. A really decent girl should ask what this word means.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74955
 28.12.2012
She works as a medical expert in Morga. The correspondence.

From a recent talk about health:
I have a living example...
I: And I am dead!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №74954
 28.12.2012
Gunnhild: My grandmother spoke to me about her cousin yesterday, saying, Veronika draws to you, friends with her. I replied, “Oh, you’ve told me this a thousand times, go away!” She: Oh, sorry, I thought you didn’t listen to me now.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74953
 28.12.2012
Smoker, admin and boss.
Admin (a): Well, I have a hanna
Q: What has broken up again?
a: - Yes, I recorded people discs from the corporate 32 pieces and distributed them
Q: Well, we’ll give you a prize to the NHG, and what is Han?
A: - My bad habit of creating a 333 folder and lack of time! I didn’t have time to cut the cakes at work and took some home.
The more the prize will be awarded.
A: - Aha, took home, threw the corporate on the camera without looking at it, and also at night on the machine cut the bulbs. Now half of the office together with corporate full-length BDSM!!!!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №74952
 28.12.2012
From the forum motto:
If you do not want to leave this sinful world at the height of your strength or become a vegetable in the care of a monster nurse who will have fun with your pipi while you are in a coma, then you will have to buy stock travers for the fork.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №74951
 28.12.2012
XXX: How do you feel about the end of the world?
YYY: End of the
I am Katya.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №74950
 28.12.2012
XXX is:
I went to the bathroom, so I know why.
I sit, do business, and at the same time play a toy on my body.
So I’m going to record.
5 minutes to play.
10 and 15.
Playing for half an hour
My right leg has gone down, but I can't turn it off - a record!
It takes forty minutes.
There is no one here, only a guard at the reception.
And then he spotted, apparently for forty minutes without getting out of the bathroom, suddenly I gathered there.
Shortly he knocks at the door of the cabin and polently asks – “Are you okay?”
To which I do not blinking the eye answer - "Yes, I just go to the record!!and "
Silence for twenty seconds, steps away

YYY :
)))) is beautiful

XXX is:
and then I came out of the toilet with a stumbling leg and slowly crawled past it =)))
What a face he had!! to

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №74949
 28.12.2012
Today my patient broke my head.

I: Were there any injuries?
Patient (surprisingly): Do you have it?

The curtain.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №74948
 28.12.2012
Ask where you work.
I am freelancer
The job address?
I say freelance. The programmer. I work on the Internet!
What is the city?
I work through the internet. All over Russia, all over the world
They are: well. Let us record that you work in an international company "freelance"

Loans are approved :)

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