bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83407
 27.06.2013
In pre-school age, I believed that dogs' nose was plastic, like plush toys. The fact is, until about seven years, I never touched a living dog. Suddenly at the age of 7, the neighbor decided to leave our town, but could not take his dog with him, and gave me. The path to the dog’s nose was difficult and turning, because the dog was probably the most friendly creature on the planet and was constantly jumping, turning and licking. And I was scared, even if, the first dog I could touch. I was surprised when I felt his warm, wet nose in his hands.
WOW: Sorry, but there is no similar story about the departure of the neighbor, his wife and the clitoris?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №83406
 27.06.2013
Lokis: I remember when the OCOFs were forcibly inserted in the mentorship (year 7 ago, back, I probably don’t remember exactly) we couldn’t find the code for their “migallocks.” Well then a little stunned: they entered the code "light equipment for mobile circuses". Well, yesterday, it turned out that they still have it!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №83405
 27.06.2013
In the summer in the car.by :
Shut up the socks.
Are you sure? It’s like cleaning a bulb.)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83404
 27.06.2013
Investigative Committee of the Russian Federation. Toned at night, dark blue, with a dark red strip. One-in-one form of the NKVD in the memorable 1930s. It became horrible.

And you... the pydors, the rainbow, the sleeves, the friend... Like children, the cheesecake...


[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83403
 26.06.2013
Axon: Vladivostok is a myth invented by people who are ashamed to admit that they live in Mytices.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №83402
 26.06.2013
XHH: A new job, such a solid organization. On the toilets tablets: on the female - a female silhouette and the silhouette of a man looking through the wall, on the male, respectively, the opposite - the grandmother looks at the man. Everyone has a sense of humor xD

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №83401
 26.06.2013
Snowden has stuck in the Sheremetyevo transit zone – due to the deficit of a passport, the former CIA employee cannot buy a ticket or get to Russia:
xxx: The movie "Terminal" on the ORT has not yet been announced for the show?)))
yyy: No, better "The Incredible Adventures of Italians in Russia".
Zzzz: Well, at least not stuck in the texts!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №83400
 26.06.2013
In the shirts, it is very hot.
— — —
In the server? It is hot? Well, at least I would be ashamed to write this heresy on this site...

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83399
 26.06.2013
Today in the gym in the dressing room involuntarily witnessed the scene. I change my clothes, a full-length girl comes in, puts a bag in the closet and goes to the girls who are shaking nearby. And we have to say the gym district from the cheap, so there are a lot of female couples going there. This girl fits to these three clever ladies. The further dialogue:
The girl: Hi. I am here for the first time, please tell me where the entrance to the pool is.
One of the tips: What is yours? You first lose weight, then approach us, we do not communicate with the fat (the other two cheerfully crack).
Girl (with sincere sadness): It’s a pity that this won’t happen. I'm going to lose weight, but you don't have more brains, and I don't communicate with stupid people.
He turns and goes to his closet.
They could only answer "E, what?". I showed her the entrance to the pool.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №83398
 26.06.2013
Working in a large company is pure charm. I made a rule today. I sit alone in a small service office and take the office in the main office. In five months, I have never taken a paper for a printer from the same cashier twice. Always before I end up with paper, the former cashier is dismissed and a new one appears) A piece of paper in our office is more stable than the cashier and survives it for a couple of weeks)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №83397
 26.06.2013
News: "Train in the subway will be able to move from branch to branch".
The first comment: "What is the nest?"

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №83396
 26.06.2013
News: Moscow graduates of 2013 received gold medals with the turned Russian flag (which corresponds to the tricolor of Serbia).

Commentary: why argue, insider, watt so pirivirnull and rassiya

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №83395
 26.06.2013
He offered his wife a role-playing game as a prostitute. I would pay her for sex. I slept out. I have no money!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №83394
 26.06.2013
xxx: The plus of the director’s position is that I can come to work for lunch, drunk and in a shirt "on a bare foot".
yyy: Ughu, and the disadvantages are that you come sober, in costume and before everybody :)))))
XXX is yes! and :P

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №83393
 26.06.2013
In Modok, you were clinging to a villager's body, and the case almost automatically reached the wedding. A bitter dog! You can’t kill because it’s karma.

Survived, the girl, in the room behind the closed door, in the house where her father is with a gun in the corridor, which does not allow every character there, is now considered a guardian.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №83392
 26.06.2013
The creators of the iPhone 4 looked at James Bond.
The phone gave me:
A mistake occurred. The error. Unknown error

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №83391
 26.06.2013
What is better, Gandalf or a pack of kefir?
1234 is answered.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №83390
 26.06.2013
to this:
xxx: I can’t get to the concerts of Kurt Cobain and Victor Tsoi, they don’t perform anywhere at all! How to compare, I like the recording.

YYY: You will succeed. I’t be in your place at the concert.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
thank you! The mood has risen sharply!

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №83389
 26.06.2013
There was a case here: Our collective is young. A bunch of young and cute girls. The guy got to work with us as a programmer and directly licked on the girls. and short. One day, our girl in the toilet noticed a hidden miniature camera that writes on Micro SD. She stood next to the tubes under the toilet. It’s hard to notice, but she took the "needed" places of girls. She took the camera to the general, who summoned the whole team, including the new one, to her (the cabinet allows). On the questions "Do you not light up on the boys what they shouldn’t see?", the general simply downloads the first file in time, and the video shows how this programmer shoots himself (installs the camera where it was found).
This was really an awkward moment, not the childhood you call it.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №83388
 26.06.2013
I am not such a girl. I decided to go today and buy myself a summer dress... Well, it’s hot in the pants, what... I looked at one, red, buttons there, the shirt is interesting. I measure - in front narrow, in the back somewhat. The saleswoman looks at me, looks at me with pity and says, “Girl, you put this dress back and forth.”


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