Adults are not when they stop listening to their mother, but when they realize that their mother was right.

I gave my wife a new phone for her birthday. Often, as he called her, she dropped, then called back. For a long time I didn’t want to admit why he did so. Yesterday I finally found out:
Instead of the green, I always find the red. Because they are both white.

I learned about the supposed prohibition of oral sex – I don’t even know what makes me more embarrassed: how they are going to control compliance with the law, or what an anal sex is in it.
PS I will not talk about the sexual preferences of the government of the Russian Federation, I do not allow the law on insults to the feelings of believers.

111> Today I had to return to c++ after a long break of 6 years. You feel like a soldier who took away all modern weapons and gave a revolver with a shackle.
222> But it’s a troll!

I eat peanuts, unclean. Suitable for wife. I know she doesn’t eat peanuts in any form, I keep cleaning it and eating it. She says:
You could offer me too.
You don’t love him!
I could offer.
I am rubbing.
Two minutes pass, we go into the bedroom with her, and I say to her:
Do we have anal sex?
These are the eyes that look at me.
I am achieving,
I know you don’t like it, but I have to offer it.

I went home last night with a girlfriend after running. We passed by a small alley where young people gathered at night. So, we pass by a parked car, in which, with the doors opened, are sitting two hopeless guys. One smokes a cigarette, and the other just dropped on the seat. But the main thing is that (the girl’s explanation) they play loudly in the car Mozart, the 40th sonata. I gave them a respectful look and went on. We pass the 5 meters, as from their side:
This is the most awkward moment!
I wanted to go back and shake both hands =))

TheVeronicas> And what, the knowledge of PDD appears only after the transfer of rights? I don’t know the rules yet, but I know the rules.

If on an unregulated intersection of equal roads there are 4 cars, each of which must go to the left who should go first?

Owl> This includes cars: Ambulance, Fire, Mint, and Deputy, and all with blue flashes included smile

Samodelkin> Fire will win lol against Zila

Owl> It will be like this: the first deputy will go, he is a deputy, he will be crushed by a firefighter..And while the doctors in the ambulance will separate the bones of the deputy from the car, the mints will make the accident ("all wrong")

XX: Where did you go yesterday? Go to the bar again today.? to
YYY: not excluded
xxx: How you dealt with your "not excluded, maybe there is a possibility"and other shit. Are you not tired yet?
YYY: I will not deny it.

I walk on the street past two grandmothers, both clearly far from 70. I hear the conversation (literally):
First: No, the Korean is not very...
And yes, I agree, it is fat. But whisky is both Scottish and Irish!

You know, he’s a normal guy. If he didn’t drink, earned good money, dressed up...
XHHH: Fuck, what you said sounds like this: If Quasimodo had no hole, he was a tall, slim man and a talented bellow, then he would not have a bounce from the girls!

AYES: The mitraleese is the father of the machine gun, and the mother was not, because it was a French invention.

How many people, how many opinions plus mine, is the only right thing.

chickens

Story from my childhood!
Every summer, we, 3 obaltus, visited my grandmother and grandpa in the village. Every evening, my grandmother opened a chicken grove, and the chickens ran out of there to the courtyard. They put everything on their way, leaving the mountains fucking behind them, after which they went to sleep in a chicken farm in the yard.

One day, for construction needs, a sand car was brought and unloaded in the yard near the square. We, the 3 obaltus, immediately began to build fortresses, underground passages made of sand. Tonight my grandmother opened the store. Everything we built was destroyed in seconds by the chickens. They fled and saw neither the beauty nor the fortifications of the sand. After their invasion of our buildings, which we built over the course of the day, there was nothing left, not even a hint that something was built here.

This lasted for quite a long time: in the morning we built buildings, and in the evening everything was destroyed by chickens. Depending on the degree of barbarism, we began to divide the chickens into groups. In front of this shobla always ran three young men, whom we nicknamed the Antigravitators. They wandered through our buildings without any damage. How they succeeded remains a mystery to us. After them, a young man fled, called us a gang. They caused damage, but it was still possible to determine certain structures by contours. After them ran the mature chickens, which we called Heavyweights. After them, there was nothing left on the sand, even a hint that something was built here. The last of them was a cock. He did not run out, but went out, walked around the sand and went to the chickens with an important view.

We were tired of it and one day we took revenge on them. This is how it looked. The anti-gravitators swept through the buildings, we were not going to avenge them. The gang’s attack has shattered. The runners in front stumbled upon the stretched strands in the sand. We stretched the threads in a cascade, and eventually the entire gang was paralyzed. They were little to stumble, they were even confused in their legs. The gang tries to get up, but cannot, the legs in the strings are confused and Heavyweights are still running on them. But the heavyweights are not able to escape far from the gang. They almost all fall into a hidden hole, which we dug out in the sand and covered with thin sticks and poured with sand from the top. Several heavyweights still manage to overcome the hole, but hit the rod, as if unknowingly stuck in the sand. This stick was a lever to the rope system. I'm not going to tell the design, and it's so long, but in the end, the net falls on the chickens. Such a violent rise. The chickens will not understand what it is about... The cock comes out and looks at this chicken mass that crawls and crawls in the sand. I just said co-co-co??? What is this shit??? He passed by with dignity.

Grandma punished us for this, the chickens after that did not carry for a week, but we achieved our own, the chickens of the sand now run away.

Once you start looking for something, you can accidentally do a general cleaning.

In connection with the onset of heat we remind: "condor" is a condenser. The air conditioner is "condy" or "condy". Thanks for attention. Good weather to you!

The question:
Those who had to be in new houses, they saw in the apartments miniature fire shields with real firearms.

Well, the hose is on this side of the cold water meter.

In short, if the idol extinguishes the fire, saving all the neighbors, then the water will be included in the bill for the utility.

Where does the world go?

Answer to:
If the hose is on the other side, up to the meter, the name will never pay for the water used. That, as you understand, will happen a little more often than fires and rescue of neighbors. Your K.O.

Today I got into my hands a completely unique booklet - a copy of the "Work on Helminthology" of 1953 issue, to the 75th anniversary of the academician Skryabin. It is a black-and-white photo of pages. I was blinking. A rough Soviet photocopy :)

I work in the technical support of one company. Call of the user:
I: I listen, how can I help?
Q: Hello to you. You know, I don’t have all the mail coming in outlook...
I: Let me connect and see what’s going on...

I try to connect.

P (a little thought in silence): You know... I probably just write a little :( Okay, goodbye...

One comrade long spoke about how well it was to live in the Middle Ages – ecology, morality, women in the kitchen, men in the church. The further dialogue:
People like you burned on fire.
Is he a magician?
- pudding and"pudding...

Mom burns)) opens the door to Dad, I so hopefully: "Maybe he brought something tasty?" Mom so doomed: "Ah, again 100 kilograms of selection folder!"