My mother is a humanitarian and my dad is a mathematician.
I did not succeed :)

Prepare the rolls. Did you know that a standard sheet of algae does not get six, but seven rolls of normal size?
Ancient conspiracy uncovered! Japanese chefs secretly eat one roll of each serving. O_O

I decided to go to my grandmother for the summer. And they temporarily live with our young, full of ambition and contempt, cat. And now every day as soon as the cat's daughter sees - well, you understand: eyes, eyebrows, tail and all that. The cat tolerated humbly. Then I became sorry and prohibited her from touching the beast when he was eating. She whispered, whispered, but finally understood and now just stands nearby: admired how the chicken eats.
The cat was not stupid. I knew he was safe at dinner. And when the child came out of the corner, he began to rush to his bowl and EAT! For almost a month, the cat has been on enhanced food. He eats even when he’s under a rope. I already got 2 kilos extra. I look forward to carrying this longolier home with fear...But no one is touching him. So here.

X: Did you say anything about what you added me?
YYY: Well, they said, nachu babba on the ship
XXX: I hope you have defended my honor?
I said you were fucking.
YYY: Well, that is to say. Yes, I stood

A day ago, I was hit by a roadster. They brought a German unit, which puts asphalt on the machine, a person only needs to pull and pull buttons, and they did not know how to use this miracle of technology, 10-12 years ago it was. So I called a speaker from Germany. He came and, grit, can’t put it right now... well, they think, we’ll wait. And the German was inexpensive to them, every day was expensive to the enterprise. This special, a week murmured their brigade, saying that the weather was wrong. And one day, looking at the barometer, he said it was time! And asleep at 12 o’clock in the morning, almost 12 hours laying asphalt. 10 km of tracks on both sides. He told me how he worked and went to his hometown. Well, our immediately took up the business, and a month all the way... but here is the trouble... enthusiasm though it was enough to do everything quickly, but the profit from the German did not get. Ten years later, the road, paved by the Germans, remained in its original form, and the rest of the section was moved every two years. Conclusion, it is better to go to Germany for a month, to gain experience, to raise skill. I was abroad and I was traveling to the aborigines. They don’t read ours. Even in Belarus, DRSU does more quality than we do in Russia.

Once in a church, a gay man downloaded a favorite song for free on his phone and smoked.

Description of the sequel "Prometheus" on the movie search: "You have a heroine, and in her bag - the head of an android with an IQ equal to 350.

I also want a personal head in my bag. She will tell me jokes.
WOW: Yes, with Aikyu in 350 anecdotes
Anecdotes about the Higgs Boson

And also: the TV should be issued on the cards in a row to the family and only on condition of passing a dozen tests on adequacy and ability to critical thinking.

Like the internet, in fact. And then there are all sorts of people who fast without the ability to think critically.

He wanted to stop me today at 110-120 km/h.
But too vigorously shrugged the rod - on the rush up, she broke out of his hand and flew behind his back.
STOP it did not become, because the posture "haishnik throwing the rod behind the back" is not described in the PDD...

Darii.Domrachev
I love potatoes and potatoes in general. Potatoes with meat, salt, under beer and vodka-lunch. Thank you to Columbus for my full, happy childhood.

I am pleased with the paradox... everywhere people with experience are needed... and where to get the experience if you don’t get it? :D
Chapter 22: The Crowd
222: or buy in transition
222: there a lot of experience is sold
333: Go to the Insta
444: can be exchanged with NPS

Lauter: In our army, the boys were trying to pull the uncomfortable oxygen bottles and decided to cook the pencil to them.

A typical situation in the service - I need to contact Andrei Rudolphovich, to say that I am from Vladimir Nikiforovich, I work for Andrei Gurievich, and Alexander Metalinovich advised him. I am speaking fast.

Whoever you tell, they won’t believe. After half an hour of sex, the girl gets tired!and "

Why are you chasing records?
Believe me, a normal girl from a half-hour monotonous dive into sleep clones.
You need passion and imagination. Average seven minutes.

There are people who really live in time: for them they exist yesterday, today, tomorrow, half an hour and ten minutes ago. But very many are instead in a special dimension of "happiness", in which they do any of their actions, and most often, the most annoying thing, they do not do them, because the measurement of "happiness" has completely its own laws, which never work in favor of another person, actually, insisting on the implementation of one or another action.

From the website Humor FM

I worked as a refueller for a while. There is an outsider coming in. A girl comes out and goes to the box. She paid, returned and discovered that there was no brake with the button to open the door (he was on the keys in the ignition lock). He approaches me and asks for help, but I really have no time. He found a wire in his pocket, bended it and gave it to grab the key from the inside. One centimeter window is open. In five minutes I see a man lying on the lawn. I ask him what happened to him. And he me:
The idiot is trying to open the door.
Well, I objected that, said, it was I who advised her. After his explanation, I lay next to him. She (the girl) is tormented, trying to knock the key, and the second in the car is sitting and steering it!

from JJ:

Since January, the British Transport Minister has moved from car to train, making trips from home to work.

The reason? A Toyota Avensis service car with a driver annually cost taxpayers 80 thousand. Pounds of Sterling. If there were no increase in rail tariffs, the minister would continue to use luxury cars. And so outraged citizens demanded that the minister go to work on an electric car. The retaliation that said he does not waste time for nothing, but works with documents in the car, has not gone. It turns out that the same thing can be done with papers... Together with him all the foreign English ministers moved to the electric machine.

New York City Mayor Bloomberg is riding the subway to understand the problems of ordinary citizens.

Alfred Sloan had the habit of leaving General Motors' office once a quarter and spending a week selling cars, working on repairs, with spare parts, dealing with many others at dealers.

Imagine if you were:

The leaders of the Ural airlines would eat the same meals for lunch as the passengers on the planes.
The governor would have to register his own car in OblgaI;
Officials would try to survive the retirement of ordinary citizens.
- and the mayor of the city-millionaire would try to register his property in the Registration Chamber.

If you can’t explain your thought to a five-year-old, you don’t understand it very well. by Albert Einstein)
2: This phrase, so loved by many, does not say a word about the time that needs to be spent on it. And a five-year-old child can explain the quantum in terms of stones and glasses, only time for the preparation of such sentences will have to spend so much that the child will quickly finish the profile university and learn the appropriate formal language. Mathematics, therefore, creates its analytical apparatus to put a whole series of (inserted) considerations literally in one line of symbols.

“If you can’t explain your thoughts to a five-year-old, if you can’t explain your thoughts to a five-year-old, then you don’t understand it very well. Explanation is limited to 1 year.
2: Interesting observation, but Einstein still left traps: you can always, for example, start moving a child at around-the-light speed, thus winning time :)

From the comments to the video about the "recovery" of the CD with the microwave:

XXX It works! Fuck, it really works! I would like to thank the authors of this video. Using their instructions, I was able to recover a bunch of my old disks that I was about to throw away. As a thank you, I want to tell the authors one secret that I learned when I worked at the companies of MTS, Megaphone and Beeline, from which I was fired. So, there is a special number, sending a message to which, you can get a bunch of bugs on your mobile. Details in the face.

YYY: And it really works surprisingly, but what’s even more interesting, write in person and I’ll give you a special account number at WM, sending money to who, you can become a billionaire!!!!!!!! to

XXX: Well what are you :)
Better you write me, and I will tell you you, it is profitable to sell the apartment at the price of three (it is not a mistake - it is three!) above the market.

YYY: The Mercy of the Lord!!! I will not hide anything from you, I will say only one word: Abramovich. Yes, yes, yes - this person, I would even say HUMANITY, earned his billions exactly according to the scheme I indicated, and you are extremely lucky that such a philanthropist as I am willing to share a way of enrichment. ))))

XXX: Fuck, you made me - I give up :)

yyy: love me
XXX: You will resist.
Tagged: infection