In Moscow, a citizen, you need to earn money, and for this you need to ride and fast, rather than walking on pedestrian crossings.

A joke: the author goes to make money, and in front of him on the transition, the hoys pin one after the other: his elderly parents, his wife with a wheelchair, and his older children, going out of school. Who will we push first, citizen?

to this:
My girlfriend is self-made in terms of the birth of new cult phrases in a way of spontaneous rearrangement of slogans. So from the “Ethical Epithet” came the “Epic Identity”. For a long time this formulation wandered in our circles until it was replaced by a new masterpiece. From "Prache and Thorn" appeared the masterpiece "Prache and Prison"... Pleased Grandfather Freud, short...
____________
On the street of shame and milk
____________
Guard in the hostel after the summer vacation:
“Look, you get upset and upset!”

Technical support of the Internet provider:
(T-Tech support and K-Client)
Technical support, hello
Q: Hi, we have no internet at xxxxx.
Q: Yes, this is a problem with our equipment.
Q: Which of them?
Q: There is no power on the above equipment, the electricians are decommissioned, after 20-30 minutes they must fix.
K: You are lying to me.
O O O O O?? to
Q: We have electricity!
Q: You have a YYYY address, you are connected through them.
Q: You don’t understand anything, the internet cable is coming to us, what is the electricity here? You just give us a cable, it is not dependent on electricity!
T: The cable comes from the switch which is located at YYYY, the switch is electrically dependent!
Q: You don’t understand the internet and electricity have nothing to do!You just give us the cable, there is no electricity, just from your server the cable goes to us!(He throws the phone)
P.S. They can work without electricity, and can also be transmitted directly from the provider's server via the RJ45 cable through half a city.

Anima Atra: For now, journalists are assuring that there is a test tape for the presence of GMOs in milk.
Anima Atra: Looking at the TV showed it was a pregnancy test tape
Zloradskij is Essentially, the test determines whether the pregnancy doyarka has gone into the bidon?

A picture from the kitchen:
My half-year-old son bites the wires under the table; my husband squeezes the sticks from the baby bed and cries "Experliamus!" and my two-month-old kitten is hanging under the bed.
Blue, I am a mother of many children.

Today I was educated by a man aged 40-45 with a beard. I walked away from the reception of my bosses, looked at the computer and strictly asked if we have someone who is dealing with computers. “There is somebody,” I humbly replied. prudence said to keep silent that this person at the moment is the type I am.

- that on the taskbar you can not keep "links to programs, well pictures which", or the computer is corrupted;

- that by deleting the file, you do not delete it (although maybe it meant the cart? It just came), and it is stored in the computer. And even if you delete an entire document from the inside and save an empty file, the information will remain and will block the computer!

The computer is very dirty. Must be cleaned! (I supposed loudly that dust probably in the body is meant) No! Cleaning by electrical method. There are special programs that clean electrically.

My brains have shaken. Electric chair and mill. The delicacy asked if he meant a program to clean the registry? The uncle was upset, agreed to my assumption and left.

On the occasion of the discussion “On Ukraine” or “On Ukraine”, the late Victor Stepanic Chernomyrdin recalled.
The NSA had a farewell dinner, completing its embassy mission. He was told pleasant things all night, only one Ukrainian politician gently joked: we couldn’t teach Mr. Chernomyrdin to speak correctly “in Ukraine” instead of “in Ukraine”. What Viktor Stepanovich Answered: “Go to x#i”

XHH: This is a stump over the car for pumping
YYY: Did they do that?
“No, but there are always ideas like ‘we’ve set up a bucket and a mini pond for you so that you can catch fish while you’re in traffic jams.’”
YYY :D
xxx: We put monitors at the bottom of the pond so you can watch TV while you catch fish while you are in traffic jams.

SM: Well, give an example of a beautiful picture, such that the straight spirit captivates.
TTB: "The Black Square" of Malevich!
SM: On which side is he beautiful?
TTB: From anybody! This is a square!

“The best go away first” This wisdom applies to the dead and... guests.

Alice K. is not. The historian disturbs me.
After at least an approximate comparison of the social status of women and men from the beginning of the patriarchal societies until the beginning of the twentieth century, the idea of "envy of the penis" seems as absurd as, say, if it were claimed that the Spartak uprising began because of the envy of the slaves of the Roman emperor.

You pretend.
I go to the store, I took the money for little because I know the amount, I took the beer from them during the day - I have a seller like this " you miss it".. I think like this or ski on the asphalt or I fucking. check gry give it. she is like "I threw it out";
I gry "pick up, you owe it to me, you owe it to me"
I look and I see - I took 3 cups of beer, I naturally broke 4..
she is like that on the box "oh I don't know".. I gru - girl, cute - I came to you in the afternoon took the same set, you treat me
Next to him stood the owner of the storehouse, she cabareted him with something of the type "he was quite ugly", which was a mistake.
I explained to him in Kabardino what I want - in the end, I got this bank free of charge by the owner and brought it.. what was with the cashier I don't know, history silences
The bread is called.

I do not believe in signs.
2- and I believe, yesterday the salt was poured and we and the girl were fighting.
2 And you know why? Because I shed salt on the floor!! to

this

>>> I believe that VAT Day should be every quarter

I believe that your girlfriend’s periods should go constantly.

"A adult someone at home has... I’m 23 years old"

My sister and family moved to another apartment.
Her child was sick, the fever was high, she did not sleep at night. In the morning, I called the child doctor. The woman got better and they both fell asleep.
On the day the door rings. The sister took something out of her clothes and went to open. On the threshold, a aunt in a white coat jacket: “Doctor called?”"... She stirred her sister with a strict glance from the tail on her head to the boots: “Girl, and from the adult house someone is?”"... No scene... And here: "...E-e-e... Hello... Hello Mom. How small?..." - A almost adult older sister's child drowned from school.

The most terrifying moment in a conversation with a modern man comes when he stops putting clamps and starts writing points.

Marina: In Chelyabinsk closed fountains for prevention on the day of the Air Force.
Siberia: In Chelyabinsk so harsh aircraft that they dive into fountains without water.

You can still make money for a normal life, but for a beautiful one, you can only whip.

In Donetsk, they want to remove the monument to Lenin, but fear that the church will be against.

Unfortunately, this is not a joke:
http://novosti.dn.ua/details/207341/

I did the general cleaning in my bag... I had to take out the garbage can twice!!! to