The economic rush was so strong that one egg was torn.

I have worked with Chinese for 7 years, I have one Chinese whose family is engaged in tea: they pack and sell them. Once drinking with this Chinese, he told me a story about how they make money on tea. They correctly pick a fairly inexpensive tea, for example, at the price of $10 per 1000 grams, then pack them and pack them in boxes, as the author of the aforementioned TS. Then the price increases in times...up to hundreds of dollars. The Chinese says that many are interested in the price more than the taste characteristics and most buyers can’t even distinguish between the tea for $10 and $1,000. Therefore, whenever I see such boxes of Chinese tea and the high price, I bypass them.



And yes, he also boasted that so they earned on the first X5

N***: today called one of the heads of the department, said that he is extremely dissatisfied with my indicators, but that they are not the worst yet, but if I continue in the same spirit, then I will have to say goodbye to me...

N***: It would be nothing, but I am on vacation for almost a month with subsequent dismissal and I once again understand that it is not in vain to really work hard in a company where someone has worse work performance than I do when I am on vacation.

We came to the movie, a family - Mom(M), Dad and Child(R) sat nearby.

Somewhere in the middle of the film:

R: Enough, I want to go home, let’s go. When will we leave from here?

M: Son, now the advertisement begins, and let’s go.



And the child was waiting for the advertisement)))

My mother is a good retiree. Sometimes it is even too cheerful, and it blows out on others. And I gave her my old laptop so that she could sit on the internet, chat, watch movies, and not try to rebuild furniture in my house or give me a couple of ZUs.



The mother of the cleaner is one of those people who have everything "similarly", so the note was exploited as follows:



Include the root in the router.

Turn the router into the router.

Open and turn on the note.

Check the mail, VC, OK, etc.

Finish the work

Close the cover of the note, cover with a towel.

Remove the note from the rosette.

Remove the router from the router.

Because "if you leave the fork in the socket, there may be a fire."



During the next 30 minutes - 1 hour again becomes boring, it goes to check messages and the cycle is repeated: turn on, check, turn off, cover with a towel.



My warnings that the constant opening-closing of the lid sooner or later will break the veil have led to nothing. Because “an open laptop is a mess.”

Oh well ok. Whether long, short, it happened - the screenshot from the monitor "covered with a towel" and characteristic horizontal stripes appeared on the screen.



As a temporary phenomenon, I put her an old ELT monitor and shuddered on her affairs at sunset, promising to find a suitable donor shelf at home and fix everything in a week or two.



"The monitor with the stripes at the laptop is a mess," my mother thought, sticking to it a beautiful picture with the sea and palm trees, carved from some glossy magazine. (It is beautiful! )



On June 22, at exactly four o’clock, a couple of days later, he calls me to work:



My daughter, the picture at the note is missing.

- I recently connected the second monitor to you, has it disappeared?

– Yes...

What did you do before that?

- Well..I took the scissors and cut off the monitor from the notebook.. it doesn't work anyway, so you don't need it...

Wait a little, I will call back.



I had to rethink what I heard, quickly pass through all the stages of accepting the inevitable.

Re-called my mom, clarified some details, praised that all these manipulations she made with the notepad off (well, right? ))))



So my friends, I didn’t hear. Mom took the Portovsky scissors... and quietly, with a measured crust, cut off the cover from the notepad.. by the slides, by the plastic loop, by the wifay wires... Mom has a strong...

I went to the "place of the accident", determined the main monitor ELT-shny, and the image was found, but an indelible impression on me of all this remained))

Mom is still alive and alive now, but at some times, when she doubts about her rightness, she asks me.

The son in school (third grade) at the painting lesson was told to draw a winter forest. He painted the jungle. When asked what he was listening to when asked to draw a winter forest, he explained that the picture is January, only in the tropics.

Thanks to the Internet, the number of writers and poets is increasing in geometric progression. The headline of readers is beginning to lag behind.

The senior researcher, let’s call him here S.M.S., had the reputation of a gruesome and a mother-in-law. However, he treated me warmly, despite the significant age difference at 19. This, in particular, could be explained by the fact that I quickly understood and accepted his rules of play. So, for example, my appearance in his room was always accompanied by the same ritual. I quietly opened the door and looked carefully into the room. If the S.M. Concentratedly writing or, even more concentratedly, digging something in the probes, I also quietly closed the door and disappeared to better times. If the S.M. I looked relaxed, intentionally loudly opened the door and broke into the room with a scream: “Michalych, where is the tea?” He immediately broke the stool from the chair and began to witch over the cow that had darkened from many years of tea drinking.

Our laboratory is adjacent to the S.M.S. Laboratory. At the time, we were engaged in micromanipulation, which required not only concentration, but also appropriate equipment, such as very heavy and durable tables. It was impossible to buy such tables, so my boss and I designed and ordered from the institute workshops tables cooked from shellers. At the same time, under the noise, we made cabinets of sheet iron. To say that the cabinets are heavy means to underestimate their weight. The cabinets were very heavy. It is time to hang them. It was a difficult task. First, my boss and I both raised the closet to the shoulder level, then my boss moved to the middle of the closet, holding it on his shoulders and with his head bent. At this point, I flew up on an old scattered fence and tried to get the screws in the crushing dumbels. Naturally, the holes in the wall coincided with the holes in the cabinets only in zero approximation and I tried to stretch the iron cabinet in the right direction for the missing fractions of a millimeter. The bullshit was far from the first attempt. We were both wet and angry, although the open door provided some ventilation. Of course, everyone who passed by stopped to admire the spectacle and let go of a complacent commentary such as, “Do you commit adultery? “Then do adultery.”

When I pulled one of the last screws in my exhalation, S.M.S. appeared in the door, and he did not let go of his part of comments. And here I broke. In a few phrases I proclaimed out loudly that I had committed adultery repeatedly with S.M.S. himself. and his closest relatives, and also indicated the main directions in which he should immediately go. S. M. S Khumuro looked at me and, without saying a word, went out.

Soon only the fairy tale, as you know, has an effect, but it is time for me to fix the last screw in the wall. Tired, I went out to the hallway to breathe fresh air and, at the same time, blow a cigarette. I met with S.M. He walked a heavy rolling walk of a heavy man, staying as usual with his eyes on the floor. We settled together and I asked as calmly as possible:

Mikhail, did you get hurt?

Avoid looking me in the eyes, S.M. He said quietly but clearly:

and fucking.

Then he took a pause and repeated louderly:

and fucking. After all, I knew, fucking, that you can’t go up to a man when he works... Where did you use, fucking?

A stone fell from my heart and I said:

“Who is without sin, Michael? And I have, however, fresh tea already made, Indian. Let’s go on a row?

- Oh, you are still divorcing, and I will only turn on the centrifuge to cool down, - and immediately entertained S.M.S. He rushed toward the centrifugal room.

P.S If any of the readers recognized my hero, remember him with a kind word. He was an innocent and just man.

Father Christmas! When I wrote to you that I wanted to become world famous, I didn’t mean international search!! to

I went to work in the electric car this morning.

I forgot my headphones at home, so I dumbly look in the window at the landscapes and catch the car conversations with the edge of my ear.

In front of me sit two women, years edak under 50-55, talking in a hurry. I don’t listen, but here one of them says (hereinafter Z1 and Z2):

Listen to me, fucking, I’m a fool. The holidays will not stop! Every day, a little, but drink.

G2: Oh well okay! He is normal with you: you are not hungry, he does everything at home.

G1: Oh yes of course! Always looking to the left.

He just looks, but does not walk.

Q1: How do you know?

J2 (with sadness but evil): I know!

I go out of the grocery store, summer, sunshine, on the basement sits a woman of unspoiled appearance, a peak on a hectare: "Men give money, - I am silent, I go on, the distance between us increases, the likelihood of receiving cash decreases - a goat, what all the men went, goats, - zero reaction on my part, the distance destroys all hopes, the iron concrete argument goes on, a scream on the whole street - I LOVE YOU"

The master tile maker, who has a small tile laying business, on his website officially stated that he will not fulfill orders of engineers, doctors and professors working for Audi and Siemens.

“Audi’s engineers are completely disconnected from reality, they live in a different world! They’re talking about millimeters and nanometers, they’re building plans that can’t be done.”

For example, an engineer with Audi arranged a scandal after measuring a laid tile, instead of 30 * 60cm it turned out to be 29. 5 to 59. 5cm, the other refused to pay for the marble staircase, as the spots on the stone turned out to be uneven (on natural stone, yes! ) Distributed (the master had to beat the money through the court, the engineer lost). The third drew the master a complete, up to a millimeter plan of placing tiles in the bathroom and all the seams, and refused to understand that the size of the bathroom can walk a couple or three centimeters.

In short, the master checked the accounting, and found that 89% of the problems were the people mentioned above. Plus, in addition to unrealistic requirements and constant intelligence, they regularly and for a long time, for 2-3 months delay payment, demand special discounts and so on...

I was 14 and my mom invited a friend from work to dinner. She has a son, my peer, and she took him with her, but warned that he was very modest. Well, it is great when children and parents are friends and all that... I was not familiar with it, I was asked to have fun! I prepared a game console (ps1), got a second gamepad, picked up discs from friends and already imagined how we would play for the whole evening. But everything went wrong... From the embarrassment of strangers and someone else’s apartment, he got stuck in the fence and refused to enter, staying on the staircase cage. As we did not persuade him, but it did not work out, his mother spit on this matter with the phrase "well and stay here then!" He went into the apartment and sat down to eat dinner. I made every effort to get him home. I pulled out the discs, started showing what games I had, talked about different "boy" topics, told me what a delicious cake my mom made. Thus passed an hour and a half. When I realized that it was hopeful, I brought him the cake straight to the entrance, where he, though modestly, ate it. Soon his mother, tired of this situation, gathered and they left. They did not come to us anymore. She soon changed her job and they stopped communicating. Eight years later, my mother met her on the street and they talked. Then she called me:



“Now I saw Natasha, the mother of that humble man who never came into our apartment, remember?

Yes I remember! How is he?

Father of three children! (22 years ago)

and oh! Has humility overcome it?! to

Probably though! His grandmother was taken into the entrance.

I do not trust people very much. They will not be driven out of heaven.

The economy must be economical.

I read Edison’s story about assistants managers in cleaning, and I remembered a classmate’s story about his first job.

At the beginning of the last decade, immediately after the institution, a comrade (for simplicity we will call him Sasha) worked in a large semi-state company (from the "National Heritage" series). He joined the department, which prepared operational reports, to the position of a simple economist. The large company had four main areas of activity, each of which was in two or three subdivisions. And the meaning of the department's activities was to prepare daily reports on the results of work, the movement of money, etc. Thro the day, three types of reports were prepared for each subtype, and the head of the department with a pack of paper three times a day ran "up." The department was considered very progressive, the results of its work were extremely useful, well, and so on.

The number of department was at the time of 13 people (that is, roughly speaking, per person on each reporting direction, and the boss on top). Sasha was taken just on one of the directions in exchange for another of our fellow students who planned to move to another department (in fact, on his own recommendation Sasha and got into this "ownership"). He had a month to study the process of preparing reports, after which to do them on his own. He “studyed.”

90% of the time of all employees of the department went to physical education. More precisely, on the runway between the floors of different units and the collection of statistics. The data was collected literally by hand: you came to the department you needed, asked the right person for fresh numbers, recorded them in your notebook, and ran on. Then, when this marathon was over, he returned to his workplace and transferred the data from the notebook to Excel. Then the numbers were hit, the report was printed and left with the head of the department up. And the responsible employee rested for half an hour, and ran on a new, already other departments.

I do not forgive attention to these walks of torment. I mentioned above that it was the beginning of the 2000s. There were also computer networks, and the Internet, and email. There was also an automated accounting system. There were not only brains. Sasha took a few runs to think, “Wouldn’t it all go on...?Take a box of beer and go visit the local computer workers.

Those took doping, scratched their heads, and literally in a couple of days they scratched into MS Access a fairly simple reporting system. Part of the data was collected automatically (several scripts simply took data from other systems used in the enterprise), the rest could be entered through a simple form on their computer. As a result, a week later, instead of running around the 10-storey building, like a horse bitten in a pop, Sasha in 10 minutes called several people with a request to enter the necessary data, another 20 minutes later printed a report and went to read anecdotes on this site.

The same happened at lunch and at night. Most importantly, the next day too. On the third day, Sasha was caught by a boss reading anecdotes, after which a dialogue took place between them about the following content:

What are you doing?
I read anecdotes.
And the report?
He was on the table an hour ago.
So why did your predecessor spend three hours preparing it?
Listen, I can also spend three hours preparing him. If you want, I can read anecdotes in the dining room. But the result will be the same.

The chief, a former military officer, could not calmly perceive a loosely wandering subordinate (as the army wisdom says, "A good soldier is a loosely sold soldier"), therefore instructed Sache from the next day to prepare reports in two directions instead of one (the well-responsible for the second report employee went on vacation). Well, two reports - so two, for another box of beer, the same computer workers completed the report. The only thing that changed - it was necessary to call twice as many employees on the phone (that is, it did not take 10 minutes a day to call, but 20). As you can see, Sasha’s new habit of reading anecdotes almost did not affect it. Like the proposal that followed a week later to take on another direction (especially since the beer was brotherly shared between computer workers and Sasha during the joint feast, and many of those responsible for the data input, a week later, provided information and without reminders).

In general, after some time it turned out that instead of 12 people and the boss for the normal work of the department was enough only two. Written for a total of three beer boxes, the system worked successfully for more than 5 years, survived two attempts to "complex automation" of the enterprise (when boys in business costumes tried to implement systems for several million dollars), and eventually died only because the new version of MS Office refused to work with the old database.

What about Sasha? He was fired with the words "I have been growing the department here for three years, a little more - and there would be a whole management. You destroyed everything for me.”

I watched the “Young Russia” series. The Russians in the era of Peter the Reformator. The West is striking our teeth, the fifth column is already in power, the security forces are struggling with the security forces, but on the hole, mega-projects are destroying the country, the chinushs are stealing until the crack stands, the people have seven skins... In short, the nifiga has not changed since then.

Ask the seafarer:

Have you ever been really scared?

We carried a cargo of 10,000 dolls. fell into a storm. And when the ship turned to the right, all the 10,000 dolls in the choir said, “Mommy!”

This is where I got rid of it.

I live in a private house. In front of the window grows rabbit, its berries do not fall, so they begin to germinate. The cockroaches who eat them get drunk and fall into the snow. I go, pick them up and take them home until they tremble. It was already hard to collect the buckworms, hanged the feeder. Let them eat.

I recently met a girl whose mother was searched for a long time, and now sits for fraud. It is very wild to listen to her stories about how her mother, being behind bars, is constantly trying to come up with new schemes for people’s divorce.

Almost every relative of her mother at the time was registered as an individual entrepreneur. She convinced almost everyone that she needed it in business, and they didn’t have to do anything. They will only receive dividends. It is clear that nobody got anything. A lot of debt.

For several years her mother worked in several commercial enterprises. But this is not for the purpose of training, but in order to involve people in their fraudulent schemes. And they were simple. It is not a pyramid. Loans, loans, the opening of one-day firms, a bunch of promises and almost an instant slide when receiving the necessary amount.

She has been convicted twice for various crimes. Her first husband (the girl’s father) was also charged with fraud. And the whole scheme and plan was invented by her mother, serving the first term. So, coming to the dates, he received all instructions on the construction of a "profit affair".

The last drop for my acquaintance was that my mother did not stop doing this shit, even serving the third term. She came specifically to her mother for a date in another region. They had not seen each other for three years (the mother was in search). Almost immediately she offered her daughter to resign from her “poor work” and start a new “profit business”. According to the Holy Scriptures of Mother. Now she tries to stay away from her mother. For four years, it will surely work out.

I read posts about people who borrowed money from their dearest friends and didn’t get it back, and decided to put in my 5 kopecks.

5 years ago asked me for a loan from a man connected with me by a long-standing friendship. Not much – 150 thousand rubles. I was greatly affected that year - I was promoted at work, bought an apartment in Lazarevskaya, a new car, and on the wave of all this I wanted to help someone. Boomerang is good, so to say. The money remained, and I gave a generous hand to a friend the necessary amount (he, by the way, a very wealthy person, 2 times a year to Turkey flown + relatives lived in Germany live and had a small business). They agreed to give in a month and a half.

The time has passed, there is no daylight. I wait, my friend. Half a month later, there was no money. I call. Mechanical girl says the subscriber is unavailable. He started looking for him alive, went to his home - there are strangers living there. They have lived for almost a month, the house has been sold. The fucking...

I found him in Однокашниках, asked about the money - he did not answer. After the fourth question, this pitcher blocked me.

And only 4 months after the unfortunate loan, I learn from a friend's acquaintances that he has long gone to Germany to the above-mentioned relatives, and they have long invited him to PMJ, made his own citizenship and does not blow. Therefore, this Gondon took my money without the intention of giving, dropped it down to Deutchland and just scored it? We’ve been friends for eight years. They fucking ate together. But someday I’ll go there, find him, and just ask, “Username, right? “!” Then you can die peacefully.