From the culinary forum: "Tell me, do I need to add oil to the tartarettes with black caviar?"
The first comment: “Be all cursed!”

Better a rooster in the sky than a rooster in the Kremlin.

kitOFF: Yes, Ritchie is like that, I remember at the third class we drank a little before the couple, she melted up normally so. The prepot on micre burned her and forced her to write an explanatory to the dean. She wrote: "I came to the couple in microbiology drunk, since I drank 150 grams of vodka before that."

My husband is on a train trip and writes:
And I also thought in the morning that I was at home, and tastefully, the bell burst twice... Here you see, I think with you, dear...

You said that nightmares tormented you for a long time.
You can’t use this recipe :)
XXX Why
Yyy: I crawled closer to my husband, and buried him in the buttocks, or in the neck. Or he woke up from the fact that I was turning or crying, and hugged me. After a couple of months of living together, nightmares completely stopped, but I was tormented 3-4 times a month since I was a teenager.
Well, I can’t sleep alone with a aunt, but something doesn’t help.
YYY: I said you can’t use it. Of course, the thing is that a aunt is "something" and not "just that", or that your aunt changes, or they embrace you for a different purpose :-), not to reassure and protect :-)... But as a man who has been tormented by nightmares for years, and who has been embraced by both mom and sister, I am absolutely sure - quality anti- nightmares embraces can only do my husband.

eugene386: saw the advertisement poster here
eugene386: Get Rid of Nutritional Addiction with the Latest Technologies
eugene386: swallow now
eugene386: I guessed why I eat hunting
eugene386: and that fucking, it is a food addiction

by Vladimir Vladimirovich! You are 60 on Sunday. Is it time to retire?

On the subject of the police day there is a wonderful bearded joke.

During the time of total Soviet deficit on the border of Moscow and the region, two militia boobs met over a wood-drunk body. Well, and find out in which tremor to send it - to the capital or regional. They decided to send the sergeant-salad to smell what the body smells: vodka - that is, to Moscow, the same - to the region. He returns and reports:

Comrade, the younger lieutenant, smells like a cognac.
Let the comrade rest!

Mom says I’m bad and I’m being used because I’ve repaired my computer by a friend for thanks.
I can’t tell her what she gives!

Conversation of two friends:
I can now lie on the floor.
With the heating?
I have washed it.)

Conversation in the office kitchen
Marina, like your cat? by Pokrmlen?
Marina: Yes, two times First I woke up and then I ate.
Yyy: I also want to live with two girls. First one wakes up to feed, then the other.
XXX and pay them both.
YYY: Marina, this is how much your cat pays you?
He is sleeping with me!
Marina, I can do that too!

I finally understood why everyone hates apple growers! Normal people won’t write this way: “I processed a picture here on the pentium” or “Oh, how funny my hungry man corrected the word.”

From the Vegetarian Forum:

We are at 129th place in life expectancy among the population. The average Russian person lives 66 years (59 men and 72 women), which is significantly less than in countries such as Mexico, India and Iran, where the consumption of meat is significantly lower. The average moscovite consumes 66 kg of meat per year.

1 commentary :
Ask how much vodka the average moskvich drinks and then you will understand why the men in Russia live so little (((

A comment from Google Play to the mobile agent...
Ladies and gentlemen developers! Well, it is impossible to communicate with the girl, put in the emoji "Joppa" and "heart", make my life easier!

I work as a salesman in a tourism store.
A man of the age comes and buys 2 healthy lamps (40-50 cm long) and a large campsite lamp, after half an hour grows up and buys 2 litre bottle of ignitant and ANOTHER LIGHT.
My curiosity does not stand and I ask myself: where are these stocks?
Do you know what will happen on December 21st?
I: I do not know.
M: The end of the world will come!
I’m quietly slipping under the table

A rare teacher does not raise in the students a persistent disgust for his subject.

A 83-year-old grandmother was driving to a doctor’s appointment, on a bus, in a big city. She clearly told the driver where she should go, and he drove her to the stop later, 8th Street. She stood up, realizing that she was late. A car stops at the nearby parking lot, a young man comes out, the grandmother goes to him, "Drive to the clinic!" (with a distance of approximately 1 km). He looked at her and took her. And you say...

Today I feel forty years old: cooked meat, fed children, laid to sleep, wrapped wood, applied water... Now I sit and think - to give this?

and wrote: Yes, I do not argue. I have been working for eight years.
Mocus [Koodoo] wrote: What is it? and :)
and wrote: In Gazprom Suki are Accidentally Surviving Qualified Engineers

You know, when I get rich, I’ll find all the girls I didn’t fuck and fuck them!
Yyy: the main thing is to ask them to pull out their jaw before sex ;-)