A friend who was drunk said:
It was before that I was a brother and brother, and now I am a virgin and a programmer.

On one of the erosites on the forum was asked the question:
The woman made a mine. How to be now? (Maybe not literally, but the point is the same.)
One of the answers (in my opinion the best):
Throw it in the ass and everything will be fine!

xxx: Generally speaking, we have been waiting for a long time, but the release date has not yet been announced. The only hope remains is that the project will be completed.
Wow, how damn I got fucked up who can’t learn one single rule of writing in verbs!!! What to do??? Hopefully!! to
xxx: How I was caught by people who have learned one single rule and are constantly reminded of it, not allowing the possibility that a person could simply be sealed. If you are such a knowledgeable of the Russian language, correct all the spelling mistakes on your own, without the help of Google and Word in the phrase: "On a colossal dusted terrace near the mouthpiece, the wife of the not-known meat-eater Agrafena Savvicna subdued the subjection of the collegiate assessor Apollo Filimonovich with mollusks, venigret and other manifestations under the accompaniment of a chordion and a violin.

In the birthplace. one one. My husband has gone. I didn’t believe that the children after birth were a little swollen and decided that our son was Chinese. It’s funny and I want to cry, kill me please!! to

He tried to photograph his wife on the phone, in the evening, on the street. Of course, nothing went well.

Wife: Well, is it going?
I: No, you can’t blind a bullet from the shit.

I didn’t even understand why she was offended.

xxx: She had such a trained mouth that she could even blow up the bubbles from the goodron.

We talked to a friend who came to work with us in the office.
Q: How are you here?
I: Yes, the compounds are really terribly old. And you have to process Excel files with millions of positions. Press "Open" and go...
Q. to drink tea?
I am... on vacation...

Fuck the translators! I’m not going to pay them for Google. They translated “multi-world space of the atrium” as “full of light space of an atrium”.
Full of light! and atrium! Children of Flowers! Hippie is fucking! All of them shit!

Knowing which office we are talking about: and you, gentlemen, when you announced the vacancy, what did you think? We cut off professionals, because for some reason we want a normal salary for serious work. You have hired students from Lower Zadrishchenko, so don’t be surprised by the consequences. My colleagues and I really laughed, thank you for the good mood :)

Yes, especially this rule works when after an airplane landing everyone is told to sit down, and the people get up!

Not so long ago, my friend on the wheel to the perron, after listening to the stura’s futile requests to stay stuck until the engines completely stopped, did the following:
The 2nd pilot said – this behavior is indestructible, sympathizing with the steam... it is useless to fight.

My friend said – why?
If a car or a car crashes in front of us, what will we do?
2 to stop.
Commander, this is how we brake!

Three minutes later, when all the Kegles got up, rubbing their knots and bluffs, the crew apologized to the passengers for the emergency on the steering wheel.
I think I’ve learned for a lifetime! :)

Anatoly Sukhov
History: The computer was scary, then it smelled wiring, I was scared and turned off"

Primary inspection of the corpse: Behind the system unit (among other things, the shell) are rolled socks, partially pulled by the fan of the power unit... the body temperature in the area of B\P is about 60 degrees.

Diagnosis after the scan: BP still died from overheating, amputated, a donor organ is expected.

P.S Everything happened, but in my memory - this is the first computer suffocated by socks.

A client’s correspondence with a programmer who writes a code.

Q: I have something that is not worth refactoring this code, give me a spade -I fucking a pen, sadly resigned, if he had been driven by a morda by a key, you know.... like a kitten who squeezed somewhere, with the words - " This is who writes so?!! and!!Who is it, shit!! This is what I wrote..."
Q: And so, in the claw with the rye -Tik,Tik!! to

It can only be in Russia, I have an assignment in which I have to set up servacles in the building. A building that has not yet been built. And for not fulfilling this order, I receive a monthly penalty and excuse from the director=(

Reviews in the online store:
The phone is very good for 2 SIMs, it is very convenient to call that you do not need to switch SIMs) the untouchable child has twenty times thrown on the floor and the phone nothing.

Poor child, that’s how much he might have endured :)

The afflicted:

...when the spirit of enlightenment "prepared", and not in relation to the previous phrase - I was subdued by the Church.

Read carefully :

How many wonderful discoveries are prepared for us:
1 Educated Spirit
And experience, the son of difficult mistakes,
A genius, a friend of paradoxes.
And the case, God the inventor.

So understandable?

xxx: the video came from the video
xxx: * part of the text is missing* wow!
XXX: They are clearly hinting!

Maurice Lacroix Watch Reviews for $29,201 in one of the online stores

Would this watch be a good gift for a young man? I can't decide between these and CASIO MTP-1236GL-7BEF

Dmitry Davidchik: Super clock, grandmother liked it!

How about water resistance, who knows? I have my hands constantly in the water. I think not to take - if the water is missed, yes, they.

Student: I took for the box, I liked it very much.

Vadim: I bought a girl for a gift, did not notice that they are men. I am upset, you are so careless. She left me at all.

Sergey: My wife gave them for the New Year, along with two pairs of new socks (under the color of the strap). I liked it. Now it is not shameful to go to work - and new watches, and socks without holes.

Yuri: Everyone writes about amenities, reins and other values such as riding a tram, and I will probably complement your list with one very important note. As a physical education teacher in the junior classes, I always lacked the accuracy of Chinese chronographs. At 100 meters already painfully high spreads of indicators. Only with these hours I finally felt like a human being! Comfortable and elegant. Especially great looks with sports costume and adidas.

Go to the defense with the words:" You probably wonder why I gathered you all here" was a bad idea?

- I, the update center, found an update for your donkey!
There is nothing in us and there is nothing...

Students Day: January 25
But I don’t remember that January 25th is Student Day.
yyy: sounds like the beginning of the song of Grebenchikov

Topic on the forum:"What to do if a date is cancelled?"
I never understood men...and what do they just need?
yyy: It was too expensive for him, and he found it cheaper.)