bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №76407
 25.01.2013
[14:29:43] Roman: The bow shoots with arrows, and the arbalet, as is known, with bolts. And damage from arbalet screws is much more severe than from arrows. Attention question: who can easily survive a hit of three screws in the body?

XXX: The Elephant
Is it Sasha Grey?
Anastasia: Who is Sasha Grey?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №76406
 25.01.2013
By the end of a 12-hour working day, the collective IQ is equal to the temperature of the air in the room.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №76405
 25.01.2013
The painting today burned:
I go through the channel of the grapefruit, there a 12-year-old girl goes and smokes. I get closer, she is 20 years old and she goes and smokes. And she has a nose with such a hump, well, so ugly that if you don't smoke, it's only left to walk and get upset.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №76404
 25.01.2013
From Habr:
The Russian language is a thing :)
I like it myself :)
The Reference File.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №76403
 25.01.2013
It is not scary to get out of the position behind the iron door. It is terrible when she finds herself locked on the way back.

[ + 29 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76402
 25.01.2013
Another story on the subject: "Why invent anecdotes when there is real life?"

Beginning of the 90s. of Arkhangelsk. Two good businessmen from the Netherlands came to the city. They went to the Administration of the region, to "Exportles", met with local entrepreneurs, offered to buy forest circles directly, without intermediaries, with millions of cubic meters. Prices were much higher than market prices. They promised counter delivery of goods at low wholesale prices.
Dear guests were carried by expensive restaurants, nightclubs, saunas with models, brought to Moscow and Peter, and Samara, arranged a banquet-marathon for several weeks (!), showed them the breadth of Russian nature... Then they were stolen in a hotel, and local entrepreneurs helped them with money, sent them on a first-class plane to Amsterdam... Only after some time it became clear that these Dutch "businessmen" are actually two small scammers, and, 20 years of force, they just came to Russia, to walk on a hole, which they managed in the highest degree, and also gave them money with them...
The plot is real, although the story is as old as the world, the same Cat in Boots, suddenly turned into the Marquis of Karabas.
Or, the same story as in the movie "Catch Me If You Can".
But history teaches only what it teaches nothing: only today I read in the news that in Portugal:
Former president’s adviser, former World Bank adviser, UN financial researcher and American university teacher Artur Baptista da Silva earned himself last year the fame of a media hero with his attacks on austerity measures in Portugal. He received solid fees for his articles and performances, he was invited to various forums...
The only problem is that this respectable 61-year-old man in glasses did not work on any of the above posts. It turns out that he served a prison sentence fraudulent with fake documents.”

The curtains :)

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №76401
 25.01.2013
In the city began a meaningless and ruthless battle of drivers of greyhounds cleaning snow from the sidewalk on the sidewalk, and shopkeepers throwing snow back.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №76400
 25.01.2013
Many are good Chinese innet-shops, but while the gift of the beloved went 2 months, we and her have already run away.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №76399
 25.01.2013
Once again, I watched the cat rolling out on the couch at night. Blowing up, the back legs are stretched in one direction, the front one is somehow strangely bended in a almost prayerful gesture, the eyes are open, the look is absolutely meaningless and unmoving. It feels like he’s so good that he’s even... bad.
There was information that the Japanese allegedly did not keep cats in the house for this reason. They seem unbearable to watch someone do nothing. And I think it’s so funny to see a little happiness in a separate body.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №76398
 25.01.2013
Conversation with a girl
Fuck, who did I find?
She: Who is she?
I: such a beautiful... you’ll run away from me to some millionaire
She: What am I, stupid what?
I: And what then? No is?
That’s why I won’t run away.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №76397
 25.01.2013
At the school we were taught how to drive a tractor. Practice, I am 14 years old. Sitting with an instructor in the cabin, I was driving for the first time in my life. He commands what to do. After the team release the grip, I dumbly remove the foot from the pedal. In the same moment the tractor "Belarus" rises in front of the sky.In general, I don't remember what the instructor did and said, for what I got. I still fear driving a bicycle.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №76396
 25.01.2013
They discuss Iceland and how the people simply took and wrote the “People’s Constitution.”

and throw:
The population of Iceland is 300,000 people.
Population = 800 thousand people.

And what does this tell us?

Iceland can afford a people’s constitution, but Kupcino is no longer.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76395
 25.01.2013
The fresh, ah

"Lena_princess: My boyfriend was looking for my clitoris yesterday. I communicated to the ass. He says I don’t have him. He said that the clitoris will grow after we get to sleep for the first time - now the clitoris does not allow the virgin film to grow. How fast will it grow?"

Here is the generation that has grown up, which, once again, will delight us with megaboyans seven years ago...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №76394
 25.01.2013
Damien
I believe that every man has a business in which he is flattered, just he has not tried it.
nick
XD I wonder I haven’t tried it yet?
Damien
Who knows, maybe you are a native vegetarian, and I am a regulator of doyline machines. HJ, I did not try.
nick
XD You just want to pull your breasts.
Damien
XDD is fucking.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №76393
 25.01.2013
Extradition of daughter marriage:
Olya, the girl needs a gift. I tell you like a boy.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №76392
 25.01.2013
Sangriel: I’m told that because I don’t get enough sleep, I have bags under my eyes... I think that if my cheeks are big, it’s not a reason to call them bags... and how do they know I’m eating at night? 0 - O

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №76391
 25.01.2013
The headquarters announced a working day on Saturday.
We are discussing two topics in parallel:
The first is whether our mobile phones are monitoring us and how they use this data.
And the second, since Saturday is working, you can arrange a drink at work,
Soon we must go without cars.
And here we two of us immediately come SMS messages with text type
"Ready to drive, we provide the driver."
Both topics were immediately closed.
Pashan

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №76390
 25.01.2013
A colleague at work writes a response to the complaint.
Q: How soft is it to say that this is a complete shit?
WOW: Well, write that the arguments do not correspond to reality.
XHH: No, if the arguments don’t correspond to reality, it’s just shit. A complete shame when the arguments do not correspond to reality in a crying way. I will write

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №76389
 25.01.2013
Three o’clock at night, a call.
Hello, are you sleeping?
No shit, I protect the corn!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №76388
 24.01.2013
Lo: The baby's head didn't get into the mouth.
Did the jump eat?
Lo: 40 minutes
In grams, plz
Lo: And I know... ah?
Lo: I don’t have a counter on my breasts.

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