"North Koreans are calling Russian investors" – Despair meets Phuism.

Stop coming into my room without asking. What if you went in and I was naked?
You have a glass door. If you were naked, I would see it and not go in.

How did you marry me? how did you marry me? Well, I understand the breasts are big, but I really have everything big.
Specially married, so that if a spider suddenly has a choice in which nose to go, he will choose yours.

and LC:
I think it’s easy without the brain.
Sitting and not thinking.

I dreamed that my friends and I were writing a composition for the Sochi Olympics, a sort of offensive polyphonic prog-rock, the melody of which I tried to remember, but I couldn’t. Then we go out of the studio to Lenin (why the recording took place in the area of K/T "Salut"), a comrade musician asks me - well, everything is ready, what now, to walk and drink? I am Ugo, put Linux. He is where? At least on asphalt. And we began to write the code of the Linux core on the asphalt across the trottoir of the Lenin Avenue.

With VIO:

Q: Have you met people with deviant behavior?
A: I even met people with rebellious behavior.

Somewhere deep inside I felt that singing to her on a first date was like Buratino, you were once young... it wasn’t the best idea.

The morning. The Planner. The Boss:
The next...
The colleague:
- Well, I have nothing to say about it - I am in trouble with the export-import SSIS data package. Measures, there and there, multi-current, I play with indexes.
The Boss:
- This is called not "Add", but "I conduct "Experimental R&D with tests".
The other colleagues spoke in half-voice:
This is how it is called...

We sit with our wife and look at "The Fifth Element". There, the red Mila Jovovich is already running. Here, the older son approaches the television, looks at the screen and asks "What are you here, Peppi, Look?". Blythe, how will I watch this movie now?! to

C website on weight loss: I always get up on weights with a cat. Regardless of the outcome, the cat is a “eating cattle,” and I’m good!

Pg: Fuck the holidays. I’m going to get into the collar, it’s going to be easier!
VV: Nihua itself a description of Freud!

At the institute, when people ask if you gave up something, they do it with a single thought – to find out how far behind it is from the crowd. Because in the institute as in a fish catch is the chance to survive more if you are closer to the center of the catch.

From Habr:

xxx: Good that I sometimes MD5 from something as a username...
yyy: This uncomfortable moment, when the sperm dump the base and you do not understand where the passwords and where the logins

xxx: and generally, hopes for future change were associated with the end of the world

and Nina:
I’ve been looking at all the documentaries about pedicure. They’re somewhat strange at all – God doesn’t accept me because I’m gay. Because I want to do a point, he doesn’t like me". It’s as if he has anything to do with people.

by Alexandra:
Something we talk about often =)

and Nina:
First I talked about pedics from work, then you about Bonem, and now I found a folder with a documentary about pedics on the flash drive - the question is only - what did I need?!))
Although interesting

by Alexandra:
Something is wrong with us...

and Nina:
I like documentaries.
You have a beautiful smile. ?
and eyes
Do you want to drink something?

by Alexandra:
Fouououou! and Nina!
I want

Sasha grey tea!
She’s a cowboy, she’s a professional!! to
The Bone – Sasha! Turn on the tea! Stop watching porn!! to

Every year I dream of
Swimming next year
Cut to Baptism. and
It will seem to be mine.
In the sense of dreaming

XXX: I finally understood why Gorila glass is so strong – it’s made of sand from Chuck Norris.

Everyone has a brain, but not everyone has free access to it.

Regularly riding a bicycle, of course, you have to try to be polite and peaceful with all road users, and with colleagues then at work. In some ways I even understand why many people don’t like cyclists. Everything happens on the road. Sometimes they get out of the car. Sometimes they show the fact. A dangerously close distance. I scream something offensive. Especially angry every poorly educated village on pickups. I’ve heard stories about bikers throwing beer bottles and Coca-Cola out of the car window. And nothing to do about it.

At the turn, I was overtaken by a blue SUV car, the driver of which did not shy away to press on the car in the immediate vicinity of me and show an inappropriate gesture. In a furious twist of the pedal, I caught the maza on the next light and showed my disgraceful gesture in response. In the next street we turned into one street. We went into a garage. And then for a long time they stood opposite each other in the elevator with some slightly stretched silence.

and----
http://kitya.livejournal.com, a Microsoft employee :)