I saw a couple talking:
He: You know, dear, I sometimes think that you know how to think before you do it!
She: Lovely, but I don’t have him.
It seems that this is the whole problem...

found in space. Not my own:

Grammatics should be taught in school. Then it is late. What can you talk about with a person who, having a maturity certificate on his hands, writes “to try”, “to struggle” and “coordinate”? Who is wrong in “-se” and “-se”? What, besides the crying stupidity, prevents him, by writing a verb, from mentally asking himself the question “what to do?” or “what to do”?
No, it is not snobism, because language is not a thing, not a personal quality, not a property, and not a way to rise above others. Language is another means of understanding the world, like vision or hearing. Why do people who have no intention of depriving themselves of sight consciously deprive themselves of their tongue? Why do we write correctly when we are not in the exam? Why, standing in the morning in front of the mirror, nobody thinks “I wear a tricycle, we are not at a fashion show” or “I will not brush my teeth, we are not at a competition for fresh breath”?... Why people who don’t think of depriving themselves of hearing, calmly say “shake the heart”? Where did they hear the heartbeat? In which books have you read about him?
It’s ridiculous to justify “because I know physics, and you?” Language is not a profession. It is a means of communication. For physicists, mathematicians, linguists, artists, miners, tocars. Per the only reliable means of communication with the world."

Yes, the position in which I sleep, not even in the camasutra!

“We were petting with a girl... I was in cowards, and she was in pants and pants... Soon there was a seed eruption... Then they noticed that her nails were wet... Tell me if she could get pregnant?”

Is the youth dumb or am I an experienced old pearl?

22:15 we go out of the guests, the six-year-old daughter asks to come and play. I say it can’t, late and in general, she has to sleep. He breathed and said, “Yes, it’s time to sleep, and I’m all guests.”

Have you heard of Stallions?
YYY: No
YYY: What is a cocoon?
In every package there was a piece of fanery.
XXX: The Quadrant
XXX: I don’t know why.
xxx: and when assembling it turned out that these shelves can not be assembled, if you do not crack the hammer from the whole shelf.
xxx: and here it is shaded that the squares are put in to fuck under the hammer
YYY: "If the details do not fit together, hurt them with a hammer. In order not to damage the paint coating, use the piece of fence incorporated in the set"

Correspondence of two students:

XXX: Hello
XXX: What kind of group do you have?
Yyy: 3 negative, and what?

Mania is
If I fall between the rails, I won’t get electricity, right?
by 18:28:44

Vitaly
There is no electricity, but there is a train.
by 18:29:18

I: And I was always thrown first by the girls.
Girlfriend: Is it so?
I go because I am a fool.
I: But you know it too early.

Comments on Terminator 5 Story:
Will Terminator operate on Win 8 or Android?
yyy: I don’t know this, but the cards are exactly from Apple!)))

Sarah Connor – Sarah Connor
No is!
Sorry, but in which country am I?

Why are astronauts in Russia and astronauts in America?
WOW: I dare assume that astronauts are flying into space))
Astronauts are in the astral.
That’s how they first came to the moon.

Send the doctor in painting to paint, he will drop you and draw.

When under the wheels, you hit the brake, ABS works, the sound feeling is that the anchor shoots from behind and tries to get stuck for something!

My daughter, what a mess you have. Soon further than to the chair next to this your computer will not go.
I: I don’t need to go any further. From the chair to the bed, I can jump.

Now on RBC
The authorities found a way to re-educate Ukrainians from wages "in envelopes"
In the tape, what was in the cakes, cut off...
Just a real success

There is a work that children in the 5th grade read, "Black Chicken or Underground Residents." So, in class 10, the teacher tells her five-year-old said: "I will not read the Black Chicken, and I will read about the Underground Residents."

From Twitter:
@xxx_xx: I’ve asked once, but I don’t remember what they answered so I’ll ask again: what is customary to do with engagement rings after divorce?

@xxx_xx: For the time being, the variant with Orodruin leads.

*user*:I would like to change my nick "ILoveYouKsu" due to the fact that it has lost relevance.

*support*:Dear K.V. Technical Support Service strongly recommends you find another girl named Ksu, because at the moment we can not meet your request

Apple Service Center: The workshop is separated from the reception stand, which is open door. In the workshop 2a specialists work (pay) and look at some fantasy movie in the background. One speaker, looking into the screen, loudly gives the other: “No% there is a dragon!” and, asking to borrow him solder acid for the solder, not less loudly adds: “Give me more acid!”
The eyes of the customer who repairs the iPad should have been seen.. (real case of SC TeleTime)

Tomorrow I’m going to paint my ass!! to
2 to EM?
1: and, indeed, if you do not know what it is about paintball and nubes, then you get a funny picture...